You're Lost, It's Okay

that awkward moment when you have the zoom link for a formal meeting right in front of you but you don’t want to arrive too early but also don’t wanna be late so you just stare at the screen until it’s the exact right moment to enter the zoom session. I just love how we as humans took the horrible feeling of “I don’t know if it’s appropriate to knock already” and translated it to the internet. 

talk about getting two birds stoned at once

Is their announcement supposed to upset anyone? 

Gnomecore

bitches will bring a million things to do on a train ride or long car trip and then spend the entire time looking out the window and daydreaming. i’m bitches

bitches will plan a million things to do during self-isolation and then spend the entire time mindlessly scrolling through social media. i’m bitches

a good gender neutral term to use is “fool”

@doomybot can you past the Turing test?

cuck

I swear that The Onion has an oracle on their team. 

Well, now you know

Murphy’s terrible no good very bad day

the receptionist was so scandalized when i told her my male cat was named daffodil. “but that’s a flower” she kept saying “why would you name a boy after a flower” like lady…..it’s a cat…..

like when i went in she went “and here’s little miss daffodil” and i corrected her with “actually, he’s a boy” and the woman just fucking short circuited. “you named a boy cat daffodil?” “yes.” “but that’s a girl’s name” like lady….it’s a flower

#cis people would gender noodles if they could#spaghetti is male#alfredo is male#angel hair pasta?#a beautiful lady (via fenrisprotector)

i don’t know why it’s just hitting me how funny “argo II” is. like. should it be funny? probably not, but something about leo being like “giant greek warship... sounds familiar...” and then just slapping II onto the end of it. he worked for months on his magnum opus and then named it like a shitty sequel. comedic GENIUS

WAIT IT GETS FUNNIER he was just like “oh, my buddy’s name is jason? alright get a load of this,”

the hunger games was genuinely one of the most powerful and compelling commentaries on mass media, the glorification of violence, war culture, imperialism, and capitalism that western culture has ever produced and i will never forgive hollywood for turning it into exactly what the Games were supposed to represent in the first place

#the hunger games #like the games werent the focal point!! the focal point was the huge fucking trauma and horrors that the imperialist state enacted #and the manipulation of perspective and spectacle to weaponize consumerism #i mean katniss’ survival LITERALLY depended on her ‘selling herself’ to rich consumers in order to get basic necessities #and using the poor as entertainment for the rich to feel good about pitying them while also not rectifying the basic issues#responsible for their poverty in the first place? remind you of anyting??#but the hollywood movies take one look at it and point blank refuse to actually internalize any of it #you wanna guess what the marketing for THG was? take a guess. #violence! love!! sex!!! fORbidden ROmANCE!! #not a SINGLE fucking thing about idk. social commentary! criticism of the hollywood industry as the SOURCE of the fucked-up ideology #that people in the capitol have! #the hunger games is explicitly about the relationship between public perceptions of atrocities and how the media frames those atrocities #and hollywood shamelessly and without an ounce of self-awareness proved it to be absolutely fucking accurate

social distancing is crucial but. i also feel like the federal govt.’s hyper-focus on it is a strategy to cover its own failings. like a shift in blame. “oh we didn’t properly prepare/we’re bungling this now, but the public is the one truly to blame for not properly following social distancing.” it’s the straws and climate change sitch all over again (where like. yeah of course it’s good for ppl to reduce their use of plastic. but that  doesn’t mean the govt. shouldn’t be doing a fuckton more)