What Am I Doing Here?

my YouTube algorithm has been showing me a lot of horse racing recently and since the Kentucky derby is today, the last few days all my recommendations have been filled with every middle-ages dudebros podcast about gambling and betting strategies and How To Pick The Real Winner and how to min-max your bet and bla bla bla. Buddy I’ve already got my favorite horsie picked out and it’s because he’s Silly.

this couldn't have ended any more perfectly

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

This is what it feels like to be a sensitive young man with a heart of gold in this cruel world

fucked up in the club asking the dj to play flight of the bumblebee

you may think misogyny is good because it is made up of miso, which is delicious, and gyny, which is woman. and girl miso sounds great. but 👆 it is not girl miso

will you ever forgive me

jesus christ did i fucking kill them im sorry

you may think homicide is good because it is made up of homo, which is gay, and cider, which is delicious. And gay cider sounds great. but 👆 it is not gay cider