TWM: Quips & Quotes

Most people in my life don’t know I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, so I can’t share most of these stories. I’ve lived a movie-of-the-week life, and been oft-told I need to write a book (or at least a blog), so here I am.

Here I am, giving voice to the grit between my teeth and the spark in my heart. Funneling defiance and truth into my words until they burst and splatter off the page. Creating our best life, doing it our way, and writing it out loud for all the world to hear.

I'm T.W., we're the Motley, and we are Thriving While Multiple.

#20 - What are some ways that identity confusion appears in your day to day life? (2026):

Like many of the answers before it: it doesn’t. Not anymore. Not like it used to, and not in the same ways.

Confusion now isn’t as much from switching with or influence from other parts, but in how we are growing as a whole, as a cohesive unit of shared skills and abilities. How our tastes have changed and matured. In how capable we’ve become.

“Who am I?” is still oft-exclaimed, not with ye olde tinge of frustration, but with surprise and awe (and a little tongue-in-cheek humor) when we say or go beyond what we ever imagined we could be or do.

#20.5 - Do you have a favorite book or TV show about or including DID? (2015):

One of my favorite and most relatable displays of multiplicity comes from a show that has nothing to do with Dissociative Identity Disorder: Sense8. (And you best believe we’re writing about it.)

We recently found the box set of United States of Tara at a thrift store, but I wouldn’t call that show a favorite. A reasonable disappointment, maybe? Though I did think season two was the best outta three.

I’ve mostly read autobiographies (The Flock, When Rabbit Howls, The Sum of My Parts), but Set This House in Order by Matt Ruff was the first fictional DID book I’d read since diagnosis/recovery.

It did a decent job showing two different system manifestations, interactions, and awareness. If you read it, I will add a heavy trigger warning: We had to skip entire scenes due to explicit abuse descriptions. But, despite that, I’d read (parts of) it again.

When it comes to media, if the effects of trauma and PTSD are well-done, I’ll take that over a hinky DID depiction any day. We also prefer alternate universe, time loops, multiple selves, Being John Malkovich–like shiz.

#19 - How much internal communication do you have with parts? How do you, as a whole, prefer to communicate? (2026):

Growing up, there was always internal chatter, always lots of voices and thoughts in my head. Thoughts that talked to me or about me, and thoughts that had entire conversations without me. Thoughts that could override and shout louder than my own.

Not just one internal monologue either, but constant, multi-threaded dialogue. (Or diatribe.)

Our less verbal parts seem to flood with emotions. Some use hand motions or physical movement, some facial expressions or sound effects, and some replay song lyrics or movie scenes.

System communication has always been natural and automatic, even before we knew that’s what we were doing. Direct contact is usually spoken or written, and we’d interact with each other on the daily (though these days, things are much calmer and intrinsic).

#19.5 - Have you ever met another multiple offline? Tell us about it. (2015):

I have. Don’t think I want to talk about it. Not yet. Not on this type of post, anyway.

#18 - How do you experience emotions in relation to your DID? For you, how are emotions affected by dissociation? (2026):

We are getting the hang of withstanding emotions without the cover of dissociation.

Before, emotions were either blunted, overwhelming, or distant, and they rotated with an unpredictable and sudden (but disappearing) force. Now, I feel a lot more than I used to, can remember why I felt that way, and can keep the memory of said feelings after they’re gone.

I still get a lot of emotions that “aren’t mine” — emotions out of context or proportion, or a low, constant tugging-at-my-mental-ankles type thing. Much of our system work now starts by examining what we are feeling, the emotions that don’t seem to belong, and where and how we are feeling it; follow the feelings, find the part that’s having them.

#18.5 - What’s your least favorite misconception or common misinformed fact spread abut Dissociative Identity Disorder? (2015):

Ugh, again? Well, to be fair, there are a ton of ‘em out there, so I guess I could keep going.

(If you missed the first go-around, click this. (Don’t worry, it’s just a photo.))

DID is illness or disease. DID can be medicated. DID is contagious. DID is hereditary. DID is dangerous. DID is controversial. You need a disorder to dissociate. If you dissociate, you must have a disorder. DID is the only dissociative disorder. Alters are just thoughts/feelings. Alters always introduce themselves. Alters always know who they are. Alters always know they’re alters. Alters never know they’re alters. DID is highly fantasy-prone. Sociocognitive theory is legitimate. Imitative DID never happens. Malingered DID never happens. Feigned and real DID are indistinguishable. False Memory Syndrome is real. Pseudomemories are fake. IFS is a type of DID. DID is an identity. DID is theatrical. DID is a costume. DID is a game. Alters can be collected or traded. Treatment involves making the alters go away. Opposite-gendered alters don’t exist. Animal or inanimate object alters don’t exist. Alters can be killed/gotten rid of. Integration and fusion are the same. Integration and fusion are different. Integration is optional in recovery. Fusion means becoming one. DID is a western invention. DID is a modern invention. All DID experiences are the same. All DID heals the same. DID is a monolith. Online communities are safe. Social media portrayals are reliable. Birth and pre-birth trauma doesn’t exist/affect the child. System names are required. Inner worlds aren’t real. DID and maladaptive daydreaming are the same thing. Switches are always for negative triggers. All alters carry trauma/pain. DID is a shattered person. The diagnostic process takes years. Therapists will never see a multiple in their career. Therapists will always recognize a multiple. If you’ve met one DID you’ve met them all.

#17 - Do you have a favourite movie, TV show, book, or video game that has a character with DID, or one that you believe has DID? (2026):

I think Mr. Robot is one of the more recent medias I’ve watched because of the DID storyline. I think. And, DID or not, it’s one I’ve rewatched again and again. The underlying messaging is needed, the theatrics it pulls are delightful, and I love the unique artistry of every single episode.

A few in particular stand out for me, but we’re gonna save that for some upcoming Multiples in the Media essays. I’ve been begging PeanutButter to watch it with me (he’s never seen it), because it’s just that good, and I’ve been jonesing for another rewatch.

Mr. Robot does, however, have one glaring exception to this glowing review: the last episode. It ruins everything.

Now, Dexter isn’t written to have DID in either series (Showtime television or the books by Jeff Lindsay), but its elements, I believe, are there regardless.

(For clarity, I’ve read all the Dexter books, and I’ve seen the original series only; none of the sequels/continuations/reboots, so once Season 8, Episode 12 wrapped, that’s as far as my current knowledge of the TV Dexter-verse goes.)

The books and the TV series divert almost immediately, and each must be judged independently from the other, but I maintain Dexter Morgan of both incarnations has some form of dissociative disorder, and not necessarily (just) the socio- and/or psychopathy they declared. Dude’s traumatized up the wazoo, suffers amnesia for his childhood and emotions, and has dissociative projections (and introjections) of his own memories and fragmented consciousness.

There is a scene each in seasons one and two that stick out to me in particular. The first, the “memory” of himself as a child reacts to the adult Dexter’s current reality and surroundings, interrupts his reverie and warns him of incoming danger; memories don’t do that. And second season, when asked how he deals so well with tragedy, Dexter replies, “I’m good at compartmentalization.”

Not to mention Dex’s whole Dark Passenger dealio, and how in the books, they would sometimes talk together. “That was my favorite part,” we said.

I mean. C’mon.

#17.5 - Who’s an alter you’re interested in knowing more about or befriending? Which alter do you know best? (2015):

One of the foundational tenets of working with dissociated parts is curiosity. Creating an internal culture that encourages curiosity about our various selves, and cultivating compassion toward one another and our individual stories. Because dissociative avoidance is second-nature, it’s something we do consciously, deliberately, and mindfully to this day.

I’d like to get to know the ones who write backward, the ones who think they’re dead, the ones who floated away uncontained and unknown, and the ones who seem to come from outside the system, outside us, outside our corporeal realm. The ones who seem greater than human.

#16 - Prior to your DID diagnosis, had you been misdiagnosed with other conditions? (2026):

I mean, that’s what half our TWM posts are about, yeah?

Everyone, including me, knew my mental health was iffy starting at a too-young age (second grade comes to mind). Since then, there were sporadic attempts at counseling, but we began our official foray into therapy and mental health treatment barely out of high school. That lasted a bit more than ten years before we sought a dissociative specialist to finally break the unhelpful cycle.

If you’re interested in reading a detailed account (and a named tally (8? 19?)) of our misdiagnoses, click this blue here.

#16.5 - Where, as a system, is the safest place for you? Why? (2015):

Again, one simple question, so many answers.

Before it was nowhere, not even our own mind. Ooh, wait! Our safest places while growing up were in books — the ones we read (and re- and re-re-read), and the ones we wrote ourselves.

In our stories, we could disappear and have something else be real, something we (mostly) had control over. We used fictional worlds to work through our own struggles by masking them as something else, or creating a world with different struggles entirely. A world that was ours alone.

But it’s a whole new actuality now, one that’s firmly rooted in reality. I’d say one of our safest places is our home — our own space surrounded by our own belongings. We worked hard to build it, and it’s our favorite place to be. Bonus points if PeanutButter is home, too.

Another is Lighthouse’s office. It’s the place for all the things that have nowhere else to go, to be seen and understood in immeasurable ways. For all the secret stories that scare us. For all the discussions psychology isn’t quite ready for. Where no part of me has to stay tucked away, and where we all start learning to trust and allow love.

or just maybe don't push your deadline so close to bedtime.

#15 - What are some ways that memory gaps appear in your day to day life? (2026):

We have a running joke: “My memory’s amazing, aside from all the amnesia!” And it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. My memory even might be better than PeanutButter’s, who has never suffered abnormal forgetting in his life, and who says it’s weird the things I remember and the things I don’t.

I think our memory fragmentation and micro-amnesias look a lot like ADHD forgetfulness. I don’t retain spoken conversation, instruction, or reminders as easily, but if it’s written down, it’s locked in. I tend to remember details no one else does, and I can rattle off a recipe by heart after reading it once.

Current amnesia is subtle, manifesting as emotional disconnect, or taking longer to piece a memory or string a conversation together. I need more context cues and reminders than most, and recall can take extra effort. But once a memory is recalled, it’s almost disconcertingly accurate.

Most of our stronger amnesia now is located in our historical narrative, in our past. Some of our memories may be permanently destroyed due to medication and ECT, but frankly, I’m okay with that. I can process those betrayals just by knowing about them.

I used to fear remembering what I’d forgotten would make it too vivid to bear, but memories aren’t repressed, they’re dissociated, decontextualized, and amplified by isolation. Processing a memory makes it real, but doesn’t give it life, it gives rest. Lets it be just another sentence in our story, there to inform but not control.

#15.5 - What song(s) do you relate to your DID? (2015):

I love this question. We’ve already shared one DID-specific playlist and are shaping up a few others as we speak. I don’t want to give too much away, but here are some honorable mentions:

Gollum’s Song Emiliana Torrini (song | lyrics) the pain of needing to be more than one

Us and Them Pink Floyd (song | lyrics) the drifting echoes of a dissociative mind

No Roots Alice Merton (song | lyrics) feels eerily ripped word for word from my journals

More multiplicity music is on the way right here on KTWM Radio, but now, a message from our sponsors!

…

(Just kidding. There are no sponsors. It’s just us.)

#14 - What is your favourite sense to ground yourself with? Olfactory, tactile, auditory, etc? (2026):

Physical movement is most-used nowadays. Anything that shakes us loose and sets our feet (literally) on the ground. Dancing. Stretching. Bouncing or jumping in place. Shaking our hands and arms. Ab crunches and basic yoga: planks, cat-cow, downward and upward facing dogs, child’s pose.

Music is another frequent tool, though our dependence is lessening drastically. Certain genres or songs can trigger nostalgia or timeline leaks, but newer discoveries can help ground those parts with a tenuous grasp on the current reality.

Back in the day we employed more techniques, including taste and smell. Carrying rocks in our pockets was an old favorite. Chunks of pyrite or amethyst were easily concealed and surreptitiously handled, rough edges offering a tangibility to hang onto.

Now we just carry our pocket friends, but that’s mainly for the whimsical companionship.

#14.5 - To whoever’s fronting: What’s your favorite item to have around when fronting? Is it yours or do you share with other alters in the system? (2015):

Even if something belongs to an individual alter, it’s still a shared item. And since our entire life is a shared item, it’s hard to answer this question. It’s darn near impossible not to share.

Certain objects do belong to or are associated with certain alters. Issues arise when we get rid of something we didn’t realize was claimed by a specific alter, or because the part with the specific attachment wasn’t around on donation day. Sometimes we don’t know until it’s too late.

#13 - What was your last therapy session like? (2026):

Rather uneventful, actually. We’re skipping the next one, so it’s always better to not stir stuff up.

Therapy hasn’t dipped us into overwhelm in a while. Right now, we’re processing that what we’ve run from for so long is true. We keep talking it through, letting our overview expand, allowing pieces come into awareness without panic, denial, or judgment.

We manage it well, but we’re working through early, grisly history, and having someone walk us through is a relief I am challenged to articulate. To have someone believe and witness, be educated on, and know how to work through the mundanity of the unimaginable has been indispensable.

#13.5 - Has anyone ever noticed you were multiple before you told them? Do animals seem to know the difference in your switches? (2015):

Oh, yes. It was rarely pegged as multiplicity, but we were absolutely noticed.

For much of our life, we were an overt multiple. We heard voices of our parts, and dissociation and switches were obvious and detectable but misattributed to other conditions. A few DID survivors noticed (and knew) right away, but we weren’t in the mental space to accurately self-assess or report.

Our behavior no longer sends up red flags. Or scarlet ones. Switches are more covert, internal, and subtle. Nothing about us screams multiple anymore. People think I’m energetic and a little weird, but mentally ill? Not anymore. I’m viewed as reliable and organized, with exceptional boundaries and communication skills.

Turns out, I’m also a natural group leader (can’t imagine how that came about!).

As for animals, I’m curious, too. We grew up with a variety of family, friend, and neighborhood pets, but I can’t say one way or another about them detecting alters or switches. And if they did, we weren’t aware enough of ourselves to pick up on them picking up on us.

We’ve stayed relatively pet-free for most of our adult life, and haven’t spent enough time with any one animal since system discovery to know if they were reacting to switches, or just energy shifts or distress.

(Storytime: I was pals with a prior co-worker’s pup who always knew when my anxiety was raging. I’d specifically seek them out for a quick visit while battling a panic attack on the job. I loved that hyper land-shark’s intuitive and steady lean.)

Dogs and cats gravitate toward me, and I don’t know why. Nervous cats end up in my lap and the tempestuous ones behave. Strangers’ dogs make eye contact then pull their leads to follow me, or refuse to budge until I say hello.

I do wonder if our animal alters give off a different vibe, or if those parts have an innate ability to read and mimic the animal’s behavior in a way the animal sees and trusts. I have no idea and no way to work it out; while we’d like some eventually, PeanutButter and I have no imminent plans for a pet.

#12 - How do you keep track of your symptoms and experiences? (2026):

We journalled. We wrote lists, inquiries, and notes-to-self, and we were either extremely forgetful or distractingly obsessive about it. After a few years, it became unnecessary.

Symptoms diminished, disappeared, or were no longer disruptive. Our daily awareness expanded; we remember our overall experiences, and we don’t need to record every single thought and emotion.

Our life nowadays is pretty gosh-darn normal. We’ll notice what arises, work out from where it came, to what and to whom it’s connected, and resolve it. Or we’ll notice and let it pass without judgment or action.

Then we’ll journal. Or write a list. Or a note-to-self.

But mostly, we save it up to ramble at Lighthouse once a week.

#12.5 - What’s the worst thing you’ve woken up to finding out your alter’s done? What’s the best? (2015):

Woken up with dyed (or much less) hair; woken up to half my wardrobe missing or unfamiliar. Woken up to what looked like the end result of a slumber party tornado whipping through my bedroom overnight (while I was an adult who lived alone).

Woken up to a pile of dirty dishes with no recollection of last night’s dinner, and woken up to an immaculate kitchen bleached ceiling-to-floor. Woken up to self-harm and freshly-changed sheets, new friends in new places, and a few hundred miles at my back.

Woken up in a few emergency rooms just to talk my way out of an impending psych admission. Spent a few days in intensive care and still don’t know what for or how I got there.

#11 - Do you have a favourite model of dissociation (eg. BASK, ToSD, 4D model)? Why? (2026):

I view the trauma and dissociative disorders as one braided highway, where the strands become looser and more frayed the further down the end you go. The edges of each disorder are varied and can be subjective, but each still deserve their own name.

We’re experiencing the same things on different levels. The diagnoses are distinct, but not separate, and theory of treatment is essentially the same. Tailored to the individual system’s needs, but all rooted in a humanistic, integrative process.

The Theory of Structural Dissociation [ToSD] and BASK [Behavior > Affect > Sensory > Knowledge] make a lot of sense to me. I’m not as familiar with the 4D model, but none of these feel at odds with each other.

To me, it feels like separate factions trying to find different explanations for the same thing, and all are on a similar track. Differently-arranged pieces of one larger picture, and they all leave out components the world isn’t ready to talk about yet – the spiritual and metaphysical. The superworldly, if you will.

Not all dissociation is created equal. Primary, secondary, and tertiary dissociation all provide an experience unlike the other, but I can tell you, as an integrated multiple who’s lived with all three, it’s all the same. Just different.

#11.5 - How much control do you have over switches? Do you know of any specific things which cause specific alters to front? (2015):

Controlled switching is not about control, it’s about cooperation.

Each alter, each fragment has their own trigger or set of triggers, and anything can be a trigger. Colors. Songs. Foods. Pictures. Smells. Clothing. Objects. Appliances. Vehicles. Words, numbers, or phrases. A time of day. A location. An activity. A hobby.

Before, switches were at the mercy of internal whims and external triggers. I can now attribute the chronic “running out of time” urgency I’d feel to sensing an oncoming switch, like I was being pushed or hustled out the way.

Some alters do seem to control other alters coming and going, or their actions and behaviors — because they think they are still at the mercy of our abusers — and we work to show them they are allowed to act and think of their own accord.

It took us years to get here, but we can now call on parts in the moment, and can help others step back inside. We can easily switch to have a productive therapy session, and ground ourselves quickly once the hour is over. We can coordinate within to excel without.