Still Three Owls Still On A Shed

RIP Lydia Bennet you would’ve loved watching tik toks at full volume in public

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

reblogged after 32 seconds in

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

As someone who is colourblind this post is fucking hilarious because they are in fact all the same fucking colour

things heating up in the fuckin uuhhhhhhhhh BLUE fandom 

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

i hate when men complain about women’s body hair, even like the fine hair on their backs. go fuck a shark if you wanna have sex with something hairless

This post got weird

This post started with fucking hairless sharks. Weird wasn’t a destination so much as a jumping off point.

I’ve never been so surprised not to encounter the word “smooth” in a text post

Smooth shark post happened circa 2017, this post occurred in 2013 (posted) + pun added and 2015 (Jennytrout enhancement), years before smooth sharks would be discovered and revealed to the public.

tumblr is so so beautiful to me because where else would I see yaoi of my great great great great great uncle's failed arctic expedition

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?” “We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.”

Iconic post

"Alaska is a place known to the public, so setting a novel in a Alaska is not copyrightable."

I'm giggling. This is so sassy.

"That was a lot of reading." lmao

Oh, that is a VERY irritated judge.

had no internet for a couple of hours so i just opened my notes app and started writing a song about how john schnatter, ceo of papa johns, likes to fuck pizzas