i had a dream last night. i was cold and wet. i felt heavy, like i'd been drugged. and when i woke up, the sensations didn't go. i was feeling sick and confused and i was starting to get scared. i needed to see mum, to talk to her. i stumbled to her room and as i stood there at the bed watching them, i was overcome with this intense sadness. then the sadness turned to fear. i just stood there paralyzed with fear and i realized that there was nothing that they could do for me anymore. i've never felt so utterly alone. everything felt wrong – my body, the way things looked. then i realized that there was something wrong with me. i started to cry standing there at the foot of their bed
















