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#Dean with Scoobies

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#dean <3 #I am putting back Jess's post when I am done <3 #pinned #pk rewatches spn number ?#deans eye #my smart bby #dean the narrative heart

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Would it be funny if we did unblock requests.

queermania

Dean's psychological control over Sam stems from their upbringing. It's not Dean's fault that he was parentified but they're adults now and Dean needs to curb that shit.

so true bestie

chamomileblues

being looked after

#fan works

peachylu-art

there's this pity in his eyes

#fan works

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vhscowboys

‘Winchester and Co. Catalogue : 1’

I really really really autistically love vintage fashion, I just knew I had to do a little something inspired by some of the Sears catalogue spreads from a few fashion books I own (I’m aware that at the time these would have been in colour but the scans in the books are in black and white and I think the monochrome looks cooler anyway) — Castiel is first up but I’ll be doing one for Dean and Sam as well!

#fan works

One reason I will never let go of my bitterness at the fandom over season 14/15 is that a very common take right after Mary died was also:

Why can't Dean just realize his mom was stupid and her death was her fault and therefore she does not matter and he should stop being sad and angry about it?

Like I think I hate everyone, actually.

SPN fandom: Well Mary wouldn't give Jack space to sort through his feelings. This entitled him to murder her in a rage. She should have just let him sort through his big feelings alone. Why couldn't she do that?

SPN fandom: Dean needing time and space to deal with his grief and anger alone instead of forgiving Cas on Cas's timeline is an unspeakable cruelty.

scoobydoodean

Probably a very hot take and I may not be explaining my thoughts perfectly here but. Dean and Sam noticing that Jack was acting off and having concerns about how much soul he had left is NOT actually fully comparable to Cas having actually SEEN Jack DO something concerning, especially when that action was killing a living creature without remorse. Yes they’re all responsible for not being more active in looking into it, for seemingly not telling Mary about Jack, for not benching Jack even. There’s a lot that they all could’ve done better I think. But Cas still simply had more information. And I’m not saying that Cas deserved to be fully blamed or be the target of all of Dean’s anger because of this! Or that Dean didn’t need to apologize at all for how he subsequently handled it. But still imo the anger itself was reasonable and I just would’ve liked to have seen someone, possibly Cas, actually listen to Dean and validate his emotions.

But they DID bench Jack. Dean specifically pushed for that. They all knew Jack burned off a part of his soul, and they were all worried about how much was left and Jack potentially displaying erratic behavior. They discuss this concern as a team. Dean wasn't hiding that he was worried about Jack. Cas wasn't hiding that he was worried about Jack either (at first). But when Cas learns particularly revealing information about Jack's mental state, he chooses to hide it, while being worried enough about what he saw to try and "handle" it on his own without telling anybody.

14.15 Peace of Mind

Cas and Dean have a long conversation at the beginning of 14.15, where Cas quite specifically asks Dean to take care of Jack and try to figure out if he has some soul left and if he's okay.

Dean: How's the kid? Castiel: Well, he says he's good, but... What about Sam? He says he's good. Dean: I think they're both full of crap.

Perfectly honest. Dean doesn't think Jack is fine, and he tells Cas this. The question is, how not fine is Jack? Is he just feeling down, or is he dangerous? A few seconds after Sam comes in demanding to go on a case:

Castiel: Maybe I should go with [Sam]. And you can stay with Jack. Dean: Why? Castiel: You were right. Jack is struggling. And I've tried, but -- Dean: Why do you think he'll talk to me? Castiel: Well, because he looks up to you. And his soul -- I mean, you've seen this before. Dean: No, no. No. See, I was -- I was not great with Sam, you know, when he was, uh. But Jack's soul isn't completely gone. At least I don't think so. Castiel: W-We just don't know how much is left. Dean: Well, how am I supposed to figure that out? Castiel: I don't know! Just talk to him. Get him to open up.

Hiii I hope this isn't weird. I would just love to hear your take on this.

https://www.tumblr.com/too-short-for-a-stormtrooper/824385369869074432?source=share

"Who is more at fault for the "divorce arc" Dean or Castiel?" isn't a poll I really have any interest in participating in, in part because it starts out with a false premise that colors how everyone responds to the question through an increasingly tiresome fanon lens.

I've talked about the conflict between Dean and Cas during this period on a few occasions (you can check out episode tags such as #14.17, #14.18, #14.19 though it may not be exhaustive of all instances I've discussed this stuff). This post about Cas not communicating and how that builds to what happens is probably a decent overview of my thoughts, but it doesn't really even touch on, for example, how fandom refuses to confront how truly horrific and traumatizing this entire event was and just coldly and flippantly wants Dean to get over it like he's some kind of Stepford wife. I touch on it here from a Dean and Jack perspective, but the conflict with Cas also folds into this naturally.

If we ground ourselves back in reality for a second about the phrase "the divorce arc":

Dean and Cas were never married. One can argue to the end of time that they clearly had feelings for each other, but they were never together as a romantic couple, much less married.

Dean and Cas were also never "divorced". They took a break from each other. Dean said "If she's [gone], you're dead to me" (while going through the five stages of grief slowly realizing his mom had been obliterated off the face of the earth by Jack) and found when the worst had happened that he didn't actually mean it but was still too angry to be able to talk about it yet or take it back. Cas said "I think it's time for me to move on" because he was mad that Dean couldn't find it in himself to hash it out or forgive him, and said he was leaving forever over it then also found he did not mean it but wouldn't take it back (he left and pined bitterly, no?). What this basically then amounts to is: they took a break from each other while pretending they were willing to do more than that because they were both grieving and therefore not at their best.

The "divorce arc" in of itself is just a quirky title for a big fight Dean and Cas have over Mary's death, and calling it that is supposed to be destiel shippers having fun with what feels like it has facets of a romantic falling out... until it isn't destiel shippers having fun at all anymore and instead just devolves into them looking at a series of episodes in a vacuum as if nothing that came before it matters at all, then painting one person in the relationship in a far worse light than he deserves and another in a far better light than he'd deserve in a million years if Dean and Cas had ever actually been married.

If Dean and Cas were married, then Cas never treated Dean like a husband. If they were married, everything else held constant, Dean would have every reason to have been miserable in that marriage for years. Cas was often not around and cut off communication whenever he wanted at his whim, he largely left the day-to-day rearing of their child (that he solely adopted) to Dean, and he had a tendency to hide things and make unilateral decisions without consulting his husband, often specifically and intentionally behind his back because he knew Dean wouldn't agree with his decisions/actions. If people wanted to add that stuff into "the divorce arc" and have fun with it (like in a canon divergence fic where they actually get married in season 12 or something, maybe?) I would be seated. People don't do that though. So the title "the divorce arc" just starts to get annoying to me because Dean alone seems to be judged through the lens of this actually being a "marriage" while Cas is treated as a free agent (but one who is somehow still entitled to Dean's unwavering faithfulness).

People don't want to take it deep enough to dare hold Cas accountable for anything. Not a single thing. He must be utterly blameless and Dean must be reacting entirely irrationally or else somehow some terrible crime has been committed against Cas. We must only talk about "the divorce arc" as a random singularity, during a series of episodes where Dean is very angry with Cas and cannot find it in himself to forgive him while actively and intensely grieving the murder of his mother. We need to vilify Dean for not stopping Cas from leaving under this made-up happy-fantasy premise where none of Cas's prior behavior has built up any resentment in their relationship so really and truly "the divorce came out of nowhere". Except it didn't.

It is perfectly healthy to take some space from each other in this circumstance and absolutely what they should have done and needed to do. That's not really how Cas frames it though. He frames it as a permanent thing, and then later says Dean could have stopped him from leaving simply by forgiving him on Cas's timeline which really rubs me the wrong way and has since the episode first aired. Space was a GOOD idea, but God forbid Dean ever have space to sort through his feelings without somebody badgering him or punishing him for taking "too long", I guess. So instead, it's not "We're both grieving and I'm going to give us both space" it's "We're done forever because your feelings have failed to bend to the shape I want them to fit and it's been *looks at watch* a few days". And look—Cas is also allowed not to behave his best, but I am going to say it's not his best work (and that him being unable to understand why Dean has trouble trusting him these days shows an infuriating lack of self-awareness), not act like he's actually girlbossing it up by saying he is throwing in the towel on their entire relationship because Dean is going through a very painful intense period of grieving that has been going on for... how long? Hardly any time at all? And they've only just gotten a break to breathe? Cas is allowed to be mad. So is Dean, though, and neither of them behaves their best, and that's... okay? Can we let that be okay, or no?

Idk to me it just goes right back to what the fandom always does with Dean: Everybody in the world is entitled to space to deal with their feelings except Dean. Dean is never allowed to feel anything negative toward anybody in his life because that might lead them to question what they mean to him, which is the worst thing that could ever happen to anybody in the Supernatural universe. Dean is the source of all the love in the world, and everyone is entitled to have that from him from moment to moment regardless of what he is sorting through or what trauma he has freshly suffered or the anger and resentment he is trying to parse. If he is not dispensing unconditional love and care on everybody at all times he is a cruel monster. God forbid he need space and time.

#mail #i'm really just rambling here bc i do feel like i've talked about this as much as i want before i eventually circle back on rewatch.#the fandom reaction to this entire arc disgusts me and always has. it's just gross.#from the repulsive level of callousness about mary. to the cognitive dissonance about soulless jack and the threat he poses.#to the refusal to acknowledge cas's YEARS of behavior patterns that lead to this.#to the intense and persistent feeling of entitlement to determine dean's feelings and how much time he gets to sort through them.#to the lack of space dean is consistently denied throughout the entire show any time anybody hurts him in any way.

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dean-ness

#i really need to get back to my rewatch.#10.02 #demon dean #spn crowley

people sometimes flatten Dean’s protectiveness into possessiveness because from the outside they can look similar:

hypervigilance

difficulty letting go

stepping into caretaker mode

panic when loved ones are endangered

trying to “fix” situations

but emotionally, the root is different.

possessiveness is usually about ownership and entitlement. Dean’s behavior is much more rooted in responsibility and terror of failure.

John essentially conditioned Dean into believing:

if something bad happens to this family, it’s your fault.

which is an absolutely catastrophic burden to put on a child. especially this child, because Dean was already naturally empathetic and nurturing before the parentification fully set in.

and the phone call with Mary and John is so important because it reveals something crucial: Dean’s instinct toward comfort predates the trauma configuration we usually associate with him.

little Dean doesn’t respond to distress by withdrawing. he moves toward it. Mary gets upset and he immediately tries to soothe her:

“i’ll never leave you”

“dad loves you”

reassurance

emotional caretaking

that is not John programming him from scratch. that’s John exploiting something already there.

which honestly makes it sadder.

because John takes a naturally affectionate, emotionally sensitive kid and turns those instincts into survival labor.

Dean learns that being nurturing and noble and dependable is not optional. it is duty. it is vigilance. it is crisis management. it is:

keep everyone together keep everyone alive absorb everyone’s fear do not break do not need anything

and because Dean succeeds at this so often, everyone around him unconsciously starts relying on it too.

that’s why he gets trapped in impossible expectations throughout the series:

be emotionally available

be strong

be forgiving

be ruthless when needed

be soft

be hard

be a brother

be a parent

be a soldier

be stable

never fall apart

he’s expected to endlessly regulate both himself and everyone else emotionally.

and when he can’t? people often react with discomfort because Dean’s caretaking became structural. he’s the emotional hearth of the narrative, and when the hearth starts to get cold, everyone notices.

I think the tragedy of Dean is that he often genuinely doesn’t know where responsibility ends and personhood begins.

because John blurred that boundary repeatedly.

protect Sam. watch over Sam. raise Sam. save people. hunt things. keep moving. don’t complain.

Dean’s nurturing traits become militarized.

so when he spirals into overprotectiveness later, it’s usually not:

“you belong to me.”

it’s:

“if i fail to protect you, i have failed fundamentally as a human being.”

that’s a completely different psychological framework.

and honestly? Dean’s terror is less about people leaving him voluntarily and more about people dying on his watch. abandonment hurts him deeply, obviously, but guilt is the thing that truly devours him. because guilt reinforces the conditioning:

you should’ve done better. you should’ve saved them. you should’ve carried more.

which is why he keeps overextending himself emotionally and physically until he breaks.

there’s also something deeply important about the fact that Dean never fully loses his tenderness despite everything. that’s kind of miraculous, actually. because a lot of people subjected to that kind of emotional exploitation either harden completely or stop nurturing altogether because nurturing became associated with pain.

Dean doesn’t.

he still cooks for people. still comforts people. still wraps blankets around sick shoulders. still worries. still notices tiny emotional shifts. still tries to make people laugh when they’re hurting. still loves deeply.

even after Hell. even after betrayal. even after losing basically everyone seventeen thousand times because television writers feed Winchester suffering like it’s a renewable energy source.

that softness survives.

damaged, exhausted, defensive sometimes, absolutely. but alive.

and i think that’s the core of who Dean is: not a man driven by ownership. a man whose capacity to care was weaponized against him, and who kept caring anyway.

#parentification #mail #dean the narrative heart #the hearth of the house #dean and guilt #1.18 #5.16 #i dont deserve what he put on me #very nice writeup! sorry it took me so long to go back and read this anon.

What are your favorite mischaracterizations of Dean? Like if you had to pick maybe 3

I'm not sure how to interpret what "favorite" means in this context but if I go with specific stuff that has funny memories attached to it here are three that generated some pretty funny disk horse?

Dean is constantly drunk driving and if you do not think this is true you are stupid and also evil and probably also a drunk driver.

Dean hates women therefore would never eat pussy.

Dean CANNOT be called blue collar. Only people who have studied the works of Karl Marx could hope to understand such phrases.

#mail

plainwater-pdf

i have i would die for him disease

#dean <3

chamomileblues

oh boy did you grow a soul

#fan works

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