Dean Will Never Be Your Stepford Bitch

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so dean lets him drive

he gives him a sense of control back even if it’s as minor as being behind the wheel instead of in the passenger seat and you can even say it’s this allowance that gives sam the confidence to speed up and confront john, he might not have otherwise or he might have waited until they were in an enclosed space where the fight would’ve been worse

(also sam literally drives in the second episode after dean offers in the beginning i don’t know what these people are on lmao)

Yeah it's really weird to me how fixated some people get on the driving thing... and insisting Dean doesn't "allow" Sam to drive when we see Dean offer Sam the keys or easily agree to give them up every single time Sam asks for them (ex: 1.02, 5.05, 5.12, 7.14).

It's also just that... just because Sam feels he lacks control and sometimes asks for the keys to feel more in control doesn't mean 1) he actually does lack control or 2) that Dean's the one taking control away from him. If I am taking the "driving is about control" meta and running with it... if anything, I might argue that Sam demanding to drive (or being offered to drive) often happens when Sam substitutes (or Dean offers himself as a substitute) for other things Sam can't (or feels he can't) gain control over. It is in a way an extension of the way Dean is treated as a scapegoat or a force upon whom aggression is displaced (season 1 compilation, season 4/5 thoughts).

Your point about 1.20 fits well here. Whether Dean offered Sam the keys or Sam demanded to drive, I agree that scene is about Sam feeling like he lacks control... and the control he doesn't have is over John, not Dean. (And he shouldn't be aspiring to control others at all, but purely himself).

I might further point out that what Sam does with that control he has in 1.20 is perform an extremely dangerous maneuver at high speed to cut John's truck off and force him to a stop (nearly resulting in the impala being t-boned by John's truck), which risks not only his own life but Dean's (who put his life in Sam's hands). So if we learn anything here—quite contrary to the narrative that Dean is metaphorically "stealing" control from Sam somehow by driving and Sam is now righteously taking it back—it's that when Dean hands Sam the reigns and trusts him with his life, Sam treats Dean's life carelessly and thoughtlessly, blinded by outrage. That doesn't sound to me like Dean being the bad guy controlling Sam. And 1.20-1.22 really goes to great lengths to show Dean is the person trapped in the middle trying to get his brother and father to see sense and realize the consequences of their actions for themselves and for him while they both fight for control... and Dean's taking a lot of glancing blows from both of them while he's at it. (Just like his life is put on the line by that near car accident simply by existing in the vicinity of his brother and father).