shorty George. JAZZ SQUARE.

Quentin : Yes ?

Evan : Why do you have a playlist called "for when I take over the world" ?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Dick, perched on Jason’s couch watching him gear up, sipping a Batburger shake: “so you’re NOT about to go deal with your emotions by going out on patrol and beating people up?”

Jason: *sets down the brass knuckles he was just holding* *stares off into the distance*

Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.

Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.

Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?

Jason: nerds.

Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.

Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.

Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.

Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.

Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-

Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.

Woke: The batfam separates Tim and Damian because they both encourage the others' absurd logic to justify feral behavior.

...

Tim: "See when I can focus directly on a case with no interruptions, my success rate goes up exponentially." (Hasn't slept in 56 hrs.)

Damian: "Statistics don't lie"

Tim: "Statistics don't lie"

...

Damian: "When I adopt more animals, it makes me happy, and if I'm happy, I work better with a team."

Tim: "And you help an animal that needs a home."

Damian: "EXACTLY!"

Tim: "If anything, its irresponsible to let them roam the streets as strays."

Damian: "That's what I said!"

...

Tim: "So one of the executives of this firm has been stealing some stuff, but unfortunately, he also has the resources and status to get him off the hook with a light sentence. Which sucks."

Damian: "What if you add a more serious crime to up the charges?"

Tim: "...That is GENIUS! I have dozens of cold cases that I've solved, but the culprits have already died! Im sure one of them could easily pass as him! "

Damian: "I can help if you need any evidence planted."

Tim: "Sure thing! I'll let you know when i find the right felony to give him!"

...

Dick: "At least they're having fun and getting along?"