Oh Man Not Again He Just Got That Shirt-!

I love visiting people who have some kind of pet reptile because they're always like "would you like to hold the reptile" and I'm like "of course I would" and then the rest of the conversation happens with me just holding a random reptile and the reptile Has No Feelings about the situation. They always just sit there, probably vaguely wishing to return to their heat lamp but clearly exuding an energy of This Might As Well Happen. and then I put it back in its enclosure and go home and the reptile very clearly has no strong feelings about the situation.

#my environmental science teacher in sophomore year had a classroom snake. and it was exactly like this#just a bunch of teenagers gently passing a snake to each other and doing lab work#and the snake would be like. yup. im just here.

i do actually think it's crazy that employers get a say over shit like tattoos and piercings and we just let that happen

if you look cool as fuck you become unemployable

i do also mean like, face tattoos, yall know that right

besides the obvious that people should have the right to do what they want with their bodies as a form of self expression, the stigma against face tattoos specifically has a long, violent, racist, imperialist history that stretches across the globe

hi so yeah im trying to find the hotel california and i know i have to take the highway to hell but i accidentally turned left onto the boulevard of broken dreams. i took the first hard right onto the rocky road to dublin cuz i thought it would loop back around but it didnt lol and i know im waaaaaay off course bc i just drove by the house of the rising sun haha. so how many miles until i get to the hotel

500 MILES?!?!?!

I think we need to kill the sentiment that people lose their right to personhood once they do something bad enough

Unchecked and fear-driven dehumanization is the brick foundation for fascism.

every tree grabbed my ass and beat me senseless. so much so that my allergist scribbled more trees! and yet the lovely elm cradled and comforted me

hate when people say something along the lines of "we must get along so well because you are/i am [some astrological sign]" to me. what are you fucking talking about. we get along because im fucking nice. a decision which i regret when you say shit like that

this post is a good rent lowering gunshot. in case anyone needs one of those

“hey this dog looks to be struggling to perform very basic functions and that is very worrying” “well ACTUALLY if you STUDIED THE BREED STANDARD you’d see that this dog is actually the IDEAL ______” YEAH. THIS TOO IS THE PROBLEM. WHAT ARE YOU NOT GETTING.

“you can’t blame breeders for breeding to standard :/“ i actually find it very easy to blame them. they are the ones creating the dogs on purpose, you see

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

A lot more than 4 of us are impressed

I love the death grip after the toy was fixed up. Lessons were learned. Try to steal it this time you fucking bird. I dare you.

the youtube notification of ''ooohh your video isn't starting up smoothly???? turn off your ad blocker you cunt <3'' is so pathetic to me bc it takes five seconds max. you think i can't wait five seconds? you think i need to give you money because five seconds is too long? i pity your wife.

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

if i was a popular minecraft youtuber id just tweet "hey guys stop drawing shipping fanart of me and my friends/coworkers, i only fucked one of them and seeing me paired with anyone else is kinda weird and crosses my boundaries" and then i'd turn my phone off