Tumblr Sex Museum

I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.

Official Sky-Menacing Penis Post

I don’t want to cook but I also don’t want to buy food </3

Attention male lovers:Its ok to beat me with a hammer until i dont move anymore

my submarine got a glory hole connecting to the outside so if someone doesnt have their dick out and inserted and ready to be nipped at by sea life at all times this motherfucker’s hitting the the bottom of the ocean within minutes

experiencing the lesbian equivalent of guys being convinced they could beat a moose in a fight or w/e. objectively i could not handle that but couldnt i?