28/M/US

@stufffmuffin

@cowseii

@thicunicorn

@lilcowzia

@growingellex

@naughtynoodle056

@softiegain

@lilithisfat

@softandfluffffy

@doozyladydaisy

@plushyfatty27

@natalieffa

@dreamgirlaj

@sweetcookies-stuff

@feed-chubby-hunnie

I feel its utterly misplaced to bring in terms like "healthy feedee" into the feedism community, because all it does is echoing the fatphobia we all experience in everyday society. It's even worse putting "healthy feedees" at the top of a supposed hierarchy inside feedism.

On top of that Health is immensely subjective and not something you can judge from the outside based on the fetish content we post and its not something you are allowed to have control over.

Being a very active feedee is valid. Being a very lazy feedee is valid. Gaining slow is valid. Gaining rapidly is valid. Gaining a lot is valid. Gaining little is valid. Going for immobility and deathfeedism is valid.

Feedees alone decide how they want to gain, how they want to live, what consequences they endure, what consequences they don't endure.

I for one am not "active" because i want to be a "healthy feedee" or "good fatty". I am active because my work, my hobbies, my partners enable it and I enjoy the things we do. I'll likely be less active at a point because I decided something is more important to me.

In case you aren’t aware, you do get to make your own choices about what you believe.

You are welcome to choose to believe that the ONLY path to happiness and fulfillment is a nuclear family. But if you do that, then you’ve locked yourself into a belief system where if you end up alone (as many people do), you will have to consider yourself to have failed. Regardless of anything else you may have accomplished.

In my opinion, only finding happiness in a romantic relationship is a skill issue. That’s not a joke. I mean you are literally lacking skills. Coping skills, social skills, the ability to learn and grow and pursue interests and hobbies.

Oh, a person can’t find fulfillment in their job? Can you prove that? What if you just aren’t good enough at your job to achieve it?

Okay, I’m not literally saying that anyone is bad at their jobs or that we should solely define ourselves by our careers, either. I’m just saying that I haven’t seen any good arguments as to why I should put all of my eggs in the ‘romantic relationships’ basket any more than any other facet of life on earth. I prefer to diversify my identity portfolio, thanks.

And yeah I know this is doing too much for my fetish blog. But if there’s even a remote chance that one person will read this and stop torturing themselves about this, then that is well worth the rest of you thinking I’m cringe.

Surgeons are not taught how to operate on fat bodies. Despite there being no limit for anesthesia based on body size and no real evidence of increased risk (beyond the risk of being treated by a surgeon who isn’t familiar with fat bodies) fat people are often denied surgeries that would improve quality of life. Of course no matter how risky a basic routine surgery is arbitrarily deemed to be they will always push gastric bypass surgery on fat people.

The medical industry refuses to meaningfully invest in developing imaging technology that can accommodate a diverse array of bodies. So we are denied CT scans and MRIs based on body size. And when we are able to get imaging done if the technology is not good enough to get a clear image our bodies are blamed instead.

It’s not uncommon for diseases like cancer and autoimmune disorders to go undiagnosed until they significantly degrade quality of life or kill us. Because anything that causes weight loss is seen as a good thing and certainly not cause for concern or investigation.

Trans folks are routinely denied surgeries, hormones and other gender affirming care based on body size. Despite the fact that it is well known that the best way to prevent death by suicide in trans patients is lowering and eliminating gender dysphoria.

BUT sometimes I see this being used as a gotcha in a way that says "it's okay to be fat because it doesn't mean you're eating Immorally" and I resent that.

I am fat and today I ate three cookies for breakfast. big ones. and that doesn't change the fact that my fatness is amoral and my diet - while objectively not very healthy, this cookie thing is part of a pattern in my life as a stressed out grad student - is also amoral.

I say this as a staunch fat liberationist who was vehemently anti-fat fetish for years. I know the arguments. I know the elements of feedism that can be problematic if not handled with care. I really get it.

every fat person should have agency over whether they participate in this kink, and refusing consent is so valid. but wanting to participate, enjoying the fetish, leaning into it…

these things can be healing, too. feedism is actually so divinely sacred to me now.

if you’re in the same boat, feeling shame or embarrassment or guilt… please take care of yourself. give yourself a hug from me.

you’re okay.

you’re not a bad person.

you are allowed to love this with your whole heart.

you are allowed to seek joy this way.

that’s beautiful.

you’re beautiful.