howl and roar

*through gritted teeth* when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my character. when i do something wrong and am politely asked to change my behavior its just a simple request to fix a problem and not an indictment of my worth as a human being

*gripping the sink and staring into the mirror* i can regulate my emotions and move on from well-intentioned polite criticism by resolving to change my behavior in the future without dwelling on the shame and guilt. i can regulate my emotions in a healthy way and move on and not get stuck scrolling tumblr for an hour and a half to just blast my brain w stimulation to avoid my negative feelings. oh wait its too late for that last one

If I start my sentence with "Girl" I mean it in a gay way like I'm about to bitch to you about my coworkers who I hate and who I am nothing but nice to. If I start my sentence with "Maaan" I mean it in a tired teen boy way. Like Shaggy learning that he's eaten the last of his vile sandwiches

i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles

fuck youre on roast beast again dude im leaving

says the motherfucker that shotguns whole cans of who hash

Yeah fuck you dude go play with your snoozlephone take a fuckin walk

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They weren’t lying when they said that as an adult you have to fight for your life to practice your hobbies

They also weren’t lying when they said that when you fail to do so your soul shrivels up inside your body and dies

8 hour work days should legit come with two full meals they have to provide for you

Has anyone else been prescribed Red Angus Beef? Why would this happen?

you should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. what do you mean i have to do it again

ever since i learned abt the concept of networking i knew i was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way