something something bigger on the inside

*dirty talking* you’ve been a very bad boy and im just going to straight up kill you now

horses cant scratch themselves but humans cant go fast. we support this legandary partnership

agnostic horse: we just dont know where scratch posts come from

SIGNAL!!! BOOST!!! I don't care if this doesn't fit your blog's aesthetic, reblog EVERY TIME!!!

WE'WE ALLLG ONNA DIE

Encounter: unfortunately every taekwondo practitioner in the world is under orders to eliminate everyone else

You should automatically get time off work until the light returns to your eyes and you feel like a real person again

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

I was debating pre- and post- smartphone existentialism with an older gentleman today and he stopped part way through and said “Why are you a security guard? Why aren’t you teaching this at some college somewhere?” And I didn’t know what to say so I went with “Well I used to make art but nobody pays an artist”

I want to invoke thought and wonder and introspection and encourage the passions of every soul I meet forever and ever and dig until I find the glorious potential for creation and experience and joy in every single one but unfortunately I must pay rent and so I stand, a meat shield, an NPC with unlockable dialogue

#capitalism brain tells you that anyone interesting must fight to the top of their interest#and precludes the possibility of everyone everyone everyone already being interesting

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

talking like point-and-click game narration to the bugs in my room

you can't get out that way!

that's not very helpful.

maybe the open window will help.

try the open window instead.

there’s a japanese radish just below this post but you can’t reach it

what they dont tell you about strategy based games is that its hard if you’re stupid

can i get an amen break burger

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"