How do I do the blogging?

i recently had a thought. which, as you can imagine, was stressful

I love living in 2026 because I go to Home Depot and buy a 5-gallon bucket for $4. I say I do not want an email receipt. They know my email anyway because I once ordered a mop online. They email me to ask how I like my 5-gallon bucket. I do not reply. They email me again. They would like my feedback. Reminder ‼️I have purchases to review. Did my 5 gallon bucket live up to my expectations? 3 minute survey!!

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from armory-rasa reading: And if you rate it anything less than five stars they're like "Do you need us to kill the clerk who checked you out? Your satisfaction is our top priority. Just so the word and he's a dead man. :)" /End ID]

oh this was about someone specific

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

I've seen it pointed out a few times that the various toxins mentioned above did technically have the desired effect, given humans started cultivating the plants and thus protected them from predators/insects, and spreading their seeds far and wide. I just like the idea of evolution/DNA in the examples above being like a benevolent Monkey Paw for the plants.

I do suffer the american condition of liking to drink huge drinks

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

World heritage post

i be like “it is what it is” then be pissed off for like 4 years

knock knock

who's there

deez

deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise