The QAF Collection

A literal ass lineup for Emmett to select his ideal tush

Brian: “I thought we agreed no weird lesbo sex in front of the kid.” Mel and Lindsay: “FUCK OFF, BRIAN.”

Actually literally everything about that part is hilarious but I’m not gonna quote the whole thing because YOU KNOW IT I KNOW YOU DO.

Emmett pulling out photos of his prospective asses in the middle of Babylon and asking Justin, as an artist, to tell him which is the most aesthetically pleasing.

Lindsay and Melanie’s wedding rings go missing and sweetie pie honey bunch Justin offers up his nipple rings because “they have loads of sentimental value…to me.”

Speaking of, Justin was going to be the RING BEARER WHY DID WE NOT GET TO SEE THIS WHY?!?!?!

Michael and Ted arguing with each other about the wedding gift Michael bought and Michael shouting “YOU TAKE THAT BACK” and Ted replying, “I can’t, I bought it off a BLAAAAAAANKET.”

Lindsay trying to convince Melanie they can have the wedding at their house and Melanie trying to get Lindsay to see reason and their voices just get more and more cloying as their pet names get increasingly saccharine. “Pudding pie, she has a walker, she can lean.” I CAN’T. 

Brian: “Yo, bitches, tear each other’s hair out later?” shut up shuT UP SHUT UP.

Brian delegating all the work to plan a wedding in 24 hours and then disappearing off in his silk robe and eye mask with a “I’m getting my beauty rest, goodbyeeeeeee.” ICONIC.

Justin’s FACES as he’s trying to cover for the fact that Vic keeps dropping things when he tries to bake and his faces AGAIN when Debbie starts ripping Vic apart and he’s just all “WTF IS HAPPENING I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON HELP UNIVERSE HELP ME.”

Melanie trying to get Lindsay to eat because “you have to keep up your strength to be miserable” and then when Lindsay tells her to stop being so sweet saying “I can’t help it, compulsive adorable disorder.” WHY ARE THEY SO PRECIOUS.

Debbie to Brian: “Shouldn’t you be off somewhere? Sticking your piña in some colada?” BLESS.

Melanie going to Brian to give him a hug in thanks but settling for this weird awkward high fave hand shake arm punch thing LMAO I LOVE THESE TWO THEY’RE GOING TO BE BICKERING BFFS 4 LYFE JUST YOU WAIT.