#3x11

And yes, the cast and crew kept saying “Glee-hee” in the behind the scenes stuff. Get it? Get it? Michael’s signature “hee-hee”, but with Glee? Yeah.

So the New Directions did a lot of Jackson stuff during Sectionals, and the Troubletones missed out on that by being Troubletones. So Mercedes, Brittany and Santana insist that they do a Michael Jackson themed week, which Blaine kicks off with Wanna Be Startin’ Something, together with the 3 of them and Kurt. Yes, there was this one gifset of “gay, gay, gay, gay- oh hi Mercedes!”, although Amber Riley, who plays Mercedes, recently said she doesn’t believe that Mercedes is straight and she is so right for it.

Rachel and Quinn join them later when they’re disrupting the library. There is also another gif that I always think of, of Blaine walking through the aisle of books with the text “HAVING FUN ISN’T HARD WHEN YOU HAVE A LIBRARY CARD” at the bottom and I admit I think way too often about that gif when I am in my library.

The glee kids all perform while wearing Michael Jackson-inspired outfits (including a full leather bodysuit for Kurt) and the kids are excited!

Also, goodbye Tina! Yup, Tina just disappears. Jenna was apparently not doing well mentally and was given a mandatory week off. As Jenna later said, the stigma around mental health was still bigger, so there was no help offered to her, she was just given a break, although it did help her and she’s happy she had to leave. I suppose it was too sudden to work in the episode, unlike the Blaine thing (but more on that later).

What actually happens in this episode?

Good question.

A couple of the glee kids are at The Lima Bean, discussing their plans to do Michael Jackson songs again, but this time for Regionals. Sebastian overhears them, which pisses Kurt off, because why the fuck is Sebastian always there. Sebastian, of course, only shows interest in Blaine (“Hello Blaine, hello everyone else.”), although he is interested to hear about the New Directions’ sudden collective interest in Michael Jackson and vows to let the Warblers do Michael Jackson songs instead.

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Anyway, I am back. I took another break.

Look, I love writing about Glee. I cannot shut the fuck up about it. But as I said before, season 3 of Glee is season 3 of Glee. Back when I was writing about season 1 and 2 I would churn out multiple of these bad boys a day, but season 3 is just not always fun to write about. Not only that, but I joined fandom, which also means I have more to say and these recaps are getting longer.

But I still love it AND unlike Rachel in season 5 episode 18, I won’t quit something I am passionate about (spoilers!) so here I am.

The New Directions and Warblers have an edgy sing-off in a parking lot to claim Michael Jackson, which is honestly a wild thing to do, but it happened. They sing Bad and there’s a lot of weird stage fighting happening. I mean, the choreo is actually pretty cool, but it also looks a bit stupid to see these people try to physically fight each other.

The Warblers are pissed and take it out on the New Directions.

Why? Well...

Now, Artie, Santana, Kurt, Blaine and Rachel were supposed to go to Dalton Academy and they were supposed to watch the Warblers perform I Want You Back from the Jackson 5. In fact, this entire thing got filmed and all that. I Want You Back is definitely one of my favourite Warblers songs. And then Blaine was supposed to refuse Sebastian’s offer to rejoin the group he abandoned by saying they have lost their class, which pissed off the Warblers. And then Sebastian was supposed to call Santana Sha-Queer-a, which I admittedly laughed at, and provoke her, only for her to diss him back. AND THEN they were supposed to leave them behind with Blaine and Santana admitting to each other that they are in trouble.

But all of this got cut.

Unlike other cut scenes, the reason for this choice has been made clear and is unfortunately a bit fair. Naya just… dipped. Don’t know why, but she just left filming and as a result there are moments in the performance without Santana present, or with a body double who’s obviously not Santana in it. You could argue that Glee has aired multiple questionable mistakes before, like using the shot of Brittany stepping down the stairs twice in a row in season 2 episode 18, or the inclusion of camera crew in many performances, including the Jackson Sectionals set in season 3 episode 8, but alas.

The guys who played the Warblers were devastated. I still remember many of them posting sad Tweets. Grant Gustin (Sebastian) was also very upset, and found it a bit ironic, since apparently Naya was the one who broke the news to him.

But now, in-universe, the rest of the storyline doesn’t make much sense, since it doesn’t explain why the Warblers are so hell-bent on teaching the New Directions a lesson. They were hurt by Blaine’s words and it damaged their pride, but that got cut. It may also explain why a group of Blaine’s (former?) friends would be so vicious and why they would agree to the next part.

Near the end of this musical brawl, some Warblers hand Sebastian a paper bag. It contains a slushie, but not any slushie. This one has rock salt in it. Sebastian plans on throwing it on Kurt, but Blaine realises it, pushes Kurt away, and takes the slushie. It lands in his eyes, which damages them and Blaine needs surgery.

Fun fact, before it was easy to read other people’s tags, I had NOTP tags on my blog and Seblaine’s NOTP tag was “notp: life’s too short to blind people with rock salt” or something.

Cause yeah, Blaine almost got blinded.

This is to explain his absence for the majority of the rest of the episode, and also the next episode. Darren had to be on Broadway for three weeks (yeah) to star in How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying, so he couldn’t work on Glee.

His last appearance of this episode is in his room. He wears an eyepatch, since one eye got more damage. Kurt, Rachel and Finn sing Ben to support him, which is kind of stupid since it’s about a rat.

Anyway, Kurt is pissed and Santana decides to actually do something after they talk about it. She invited the Warblers to a random place with a lot of chairs and two celloists. (And this always makes me think of this Glee Crack video that used this shot with Rebecca Black singing "which seat should I taaaaake?" in the background.)

She tells them what happened, and this shocks other Warblers, who probably didn’t know that Sebastian put something in the slushie. Sebastian admits to adding rock salt, but Santana isn’t done yet. They sing a killer duet of Smooth Criminal with the celloists accompanying them. (I think Naya had worked with the celloists before on their album.)

It is really, really good, and peak mlm/wlw hostility, although it had the interesting result of many people shipping a gay man and a lesbian woman together.

Now, let’s hold this Sebastian crap on hold so we can focus on the other stuff.

Sam is still pining after Mercedes. He believes that their love is more than a summer fling and he starts serenading her with Human Nature, but it turns into a lovely duet. They kiss, which, uh oh, means that Mercedes cheated on Shawn.

At least their duet is nice. Finn and Rachel also sing a duet and I find it very boring, but that’s mostly because I couldn’t give a rat’s ass (Ben’s?) about Finchel. I assume, ASSUME, this is the moment Rachel accepts Finn’s marriage proposal, but I don’t remember it. I just assume it happened here since, spoilers, the wedding is 3 episodes away and they still needed riveting scenes about their wedding planning, like a fascinating scene about which chair to pick.

Then there’s one of my favourite scenes of the episode: Burt comes to visit Kurt at school, since he has news. Kurt’s worried it’s about Blaine, but no, Burt comes bearing an envelope from NYADA. The result of Kurt’s application came in and Burt couldn’t wait. They go to the choir room and Kurt reads it.

He did it. He tearfully tells his dad he’s a finalist. He’s allowed to audition to go to NYADA. Burt gives him a huge hug and gives him a moving fatherly speech, and it always reminds me of this audio post that got made after the episode. It was dialogue from the show about Kurt from his introduction to this moment. Basically an AMV, but audio form. It was beautifully and I actually had it downloaded on my non-smartphone so I could listen to it whenever I wanted.

Some fanworks just stick with you, man. Even 15 years later I can still hear parts of it in my head.

Back to the Warblers thing. It’s time to end this episode. Santana had taped her underboob with idk a microphone when she confronted Sebastian earlier, so they have a confession on tape. Santana suggests pressing charges or at least use this as evidence to get the Warblers disqualified. Kurt stupidly enough decides against it, and instead want to “own them” in the way they know best: through song. The Warblers are invited to the auditorium, and Sebastian can’t stand the stench of public schools, and they sing Black & White. This performance includes the face morphing from the original Michael Jackson video. It was weird.

I think the New Directions wanted to crush their opponents’ spirits, similar to how their performance of Give Up The Funk depressed Vocal Adrenaline in season 1 episode 21, but here it doesn’t seem to work. They don’t realise it and even give Sebastian the tape with evidence. I suppose it’s meant to be read as a “we are above petty shit” lesson, but it also feels stupid, especially since in a later episode they will complain that Sebastian almost blinding Blaine didn’t have consequences.

But oh well.