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shane gets semi tipsy at one team event and starts talking about some strategy he saw or hockey history book he read and everyone is focused immediately hanging onto every word - until he abruptly stops himself because he thinks he's being Unbearable Only Hockey Guy again when in reality the entire league looks at shane like he's holding some hockey secret fountain of talent that will make them talented too

and when he DOES end up relaxed enough to share something personal everyone is even MORE invested and trying not to spook him and trying to keep him talking and making jokes because Oh My God Shane Hollander is talking to them, Shane Hollander is Cooler and Funnier than originally anticipated (and everyone already thought he was a legend)

this is also SO frustrating for ilya especially when they're out and people are openly flirting with shane and eating up every word that comes out of his mouth (he also opens up a lot more when he's with ilya because duh but this makes everyone MORE infatuated with him) and ilya just watches everyone fall in love with his husband while he shifts between possessively glaring at anyone who looks a little Too adoring and being full of his own admiration for shane and rubbing his thigh under the table

but then they go home and shane's like shit i probably talked too much about hockey right? or wait did i interrupt the rookies too much? we should've tipped the bartender more he was so nice all evening

and ilya is seeing red both because this man can't see how incredible he is while everyone else can AND because this man is in fact his

which means the first time shane is riding him and is close to finishing and thus shoves him the FUCK back down when ilya is about to sit up and turn them hits ilya like a fucking FREIGHT TRAIN

moby girldick

I mean, he is chasing dick

the real white whale was testosterone

assigned whaler at birth