Puff

Gay ✅

Femboy ✅

Complete fucking idiot ✅

Capable of untold destruction ✅

What are your thoughts on the Transformers IDW comics and the Michael Bay movies?

There will be spoilers for some of the books, specifically the Novels, Into the Pit, and The Week Before. Game spoilers are implied.

Ralph/Phone Guy

Ralph may be the best parent in the series, as not only does he treat his child very well, but he goes so far as to give his life to save her. When he gets a phone call in one of the endings, he realizes that the only person who would call him is his daughter. He knows that if he leaves the vent, Bonnie will probably kill him, but he doesn’t care, and rushes to the phone.

Cassie and Oswald’s dads

I’m putting these together, since they have very similar cases. They both (probably) did awful things in the past, but were able to learn from their wrongdoings, and raised pretty damn good kids. While Cassie’s dad is (probably) dead, he died trying to fight his wrongs, to make a better world for his daughter. Oswald’s dad doesn’t do much, but to his credit, he’s been kidnapped and knocked out by a giant yellow rabbit.

Henry

This one is pretty obvious, he was the original good dad, in both the books and the games. He made fun things for his daughter, and in the books, goes so far as to invent artificial life just to be with her again. In the games, he’s (probably) in jail for a crime he didn’t commit when Charlie dies, but as soon as he can, he makes a plan to free her soul, as well as put an end to her killer.

William

Piccolo

I’m going to have to give Piccolo first place, since Orange is on par with SSJSS Goku and Vegeta, who are at least Universe level. And if you want to say “no orange piccolo” because he’s too strong, there’s your answer.

In any case, Base is currently as strong as base Goku and Vegeta, who are at least 5x planetary level.

Jake the Dog

No, this isn’t a joke, Jake the Dog is not a threat to be taken lightly, for one reason: Gag Physics.

Basically, nothing short of molecular destruction can kill him, which automatically means most of this roster can’t beat him.

Luffy

I would like to start by saying I don’t read or watch One Piece, but I know a bit about Luffy.

I know this will piss some people off, but while Luffy is definitely strong, I don’t think he’s as strong as Piccolo, I’d say he’s currently about 2 Krillins strong.

If we throw Gear 5 in, then now we have a fun match. From what I know, Gear 5 Luffy is very similar to Jake, using Gag Physics. Unfortunately for him, he’s more of the Physics part, which means that he doesn’t have that indestructible aspect. Regardless, if we count Gear 5, we’re counting Orange.

Plastic Man

I know that the DC fans are going to put a hit out on me for this, but Plastic Man isn’t that strong. In DC, he’s a goddamn menace, but in this fight, I can only really give him forth. Anime powerscaling, ESPECIALLY in Dragon Ball (don’t make me mention the void shake thing), is just way too fucked.

The one thing I’m willing to say for him is that he’s got the second best control over his body, after Jake. And really, if you swapped their body shapes, their ranking in that regard would also swap.

Elastigirl

Honestly, this one is tragic. If Elastigirl were from almost any other Disney property, she would beat out Plastic man, and maybe even Luffy. This is because Disney hates killing MCs.

But she’s from a movie made by Pixar, and they do not share Disney’s no killing rule. And in The Incredibles, death is VERY common. Thus, since she just has watered-down Plastic Man powers, I’m going to have to put her below him.

Reed goddamn Richards

Seeing how man variants of Reed there are, this was a real tossup. However, for simplicity, I’m going to say main 616. He’s got an even more watered down version of Plastic Man’s powers, so he gets an even lower placement. Easy as pie.

Min-Min

Originally, I was debating between her and the next entry, but I think that MM’s versatility is just good enough. As for powers, she’s got stretchy arms, a lot of weapons, and pretty good versatility.

Spinel

So I haven’t watched Steven Universe since season 2, but if memory serves, destroying a Gem’s core destroys them, and I’m pretty sure everyone above her can do that. And since her weapons are all made to destroy other Gems, they are kinda useless.

Mommy Longlegs

She’s made of plastic. She may be scary at times, but she’s plastic.

Im really sorry

“ Dear all Trick or Treaters

(Acknowledgement of target audience)

I’m coming back for that ass

(Declaration of intent)

If I ain’t get butt last year

(Reasoning for action)

This year getting smashed

(Follow-up to deceleration)

I ain’t pulling up in no granny costume

(Warning, and alerting audience of change)

That shit hard to run in

(Rationalizing change)

I’m pulling up in a Track Suit

(Follow up to change, explaining said change)

And we really gon get some fun in “

(Telling us why he chose the Track Suit)

There just isn’t any way that every single person who was involved in this incident was fast enough to make their kicks appear as lightning.

And it CERTAINLY isn’t possible for such a ridiculous scenario to be considered frightening.