Sometimes I'm a philosopher

inspired by @casgirl’s tags on this post:

The first-edition of The Joy of Gay Sex, published in 1977, declared, “Vegetable shortening may be the best lubricant, since it is not only greasy but also digestible”[4] Such a statement perhaps gives new meaning to the companies boastful declarations that “Its digestible” and “Crisco has been making life in the kitchen more delicious for years.”  Similarly, in the 1978 sex manual The Advocate Guide to Gay Health, Crisco even earned an entry in the book’s index.  Discussions of the shortening’s use as an anal lubricant indicate its popularity, with statements such as: “The lubricant, typically the cultic Crisco, must be copious.”[5]  In fact, Crisco was so synonomus with gay sex that discos and bars around the world took on the name, such as Crisco Disco in New York City, which was one of the premiere clubs during the 1970s and early 1980s.  Other clubs or bathhouses, such as Club Z in Seattle, even featured murals with Crisco.  Thus, Crisco was conversely also one of many things that led to the formation of gay identities during the 20th century.

from this essay: http://www.columbia.edu/~sf2220/TT2007/web-content/Pages/drew2.html

Because while Eridians are incredibly strong and tough on the outside, on the inside they are actually quite fragile:

They have no immune system, so anything that makes it past their enclosed carapace and internal heating will pretty much kill them

They have no natural defenses to radiation of any kind

In general they have very little organic matter so anything that targets their cells directly is quickly lethal

They are partially cold-blooded and live at a very narrow temperature range (about 20 degrees C)

They rely almost entirely on one, highly developed sense and are helpless if deafened (can't even remember the layout of a room)

They are completely helpless while asleep and can't control when that happens

They will forcibly become dormant after eating AND when badly hurt enough (their equivalent of going into shock)

They require more energy to function than humans do, and have very little organic matter to burn in the case of starvation

In contrast, humans:

Have an aggressive immune system and internal mechanisms for dealing with cell damage

Have adrenaline which allows them to temporarily ignore injuries and perform abnormal feats of strength

Are persistence hunters built for economy of movement and capable of extreme levels of endurance

Exist in a very wide range of habitats and on a diverse diet

Are very hardy in general, able to survive massive injuries, lack of sleep, prolonged starvation, and intense environmental conditions if given proper care

The quintessential example of this dichotomy between strength and endurance is the Going Fishing incident in the book: Rocky is able to survive and move in G forces that are killing Grace and to physically wrestle off the chair crushing him, but he collapses from his injuries almost immediately after. Despite being injured himself Grace then carries his 400lb friend up a ladder, is badly burned returning him to his atmosphere, and then proceeds to get some basic medical care, hype himself up on pain meds and keep working (albeit rather badly, lol) while Rocky forcibly sleeps.

The Eridians fully planned for the crew to return alive. Rocky has a mate of 186+ years back home and is the only hope the planet has left. They already had the sample and Rocky theoretically could have manipulated the spacecraft enough to get back without Grace at a much lower risk. Yet Rocky chooses to risk it all to drag Grace to the medicine bot. At least the suicide mission crew had heroin to go out painlessly when they’re done; Rocky made every step with searing pain throughout the entire body.

Grace is a bit aloof, he even said himself that he likes having walls up. But making a connection is rude.

I put myself in a ball so I can come to you and I’m moving in. Damn bitch you live like this. Build my room. I can echolocate through the walls and hear every under the breath whisper. We are going to figure out Astrophage and then go home. No fuel for go home? You are going home, statement. I’ll just go home more slowly.

Of course he chose Rocky over Earth, because home is where he’s not alone.

Humanity “every single holiday is about eating or abstaining from food”

“The vast majority of socialising occurs around the prep and consumption of food”

“Organized society evolved around agriculture”

“Different cultures have different rules when it comes to eating food. Violating these rules could mean anything from being stared at to getting publicly executed”

“Politics are often discussed around food. Food diplomacy is based entirely on how good the food is”

“It’s rude to eat these with those utensils. It’s rude to use utensils altogether for this meal. It’s rude to eat these with your hands”

“There are chemical compounds that are extremely poisonous that humans consume for fun. Some of them physically burn you”

“Televised eating competitions”

It would’ve been crazy once Rocky returned and was all “yeah we saved the world and evaded death and oh boy do I have some news for you”

Ryland spent the four years stuck on that tin can writing shit out for Adrian because what the hell else was he gonna do? Food is basically the pillar of human society he’d have a field day. Adrian is gonna be writing his damn thesis for years

Like, Erid is pitch dark because its atmosphere is too dense to allow light through to the surface, or any other type of radiation for that matter (thus why they didn't know to shield against ionizing radiation on the Blip-A). Nothing on the planet even evolved to have eyes as far as we know.

I'm just imagining it going like

Rocky, brandishing his texture "camera": I invented this to hear the wavelengths of electromagnetic energy Friend Grace can hear with the sensory orbs in his upper carapace

Eridian scientists: ...the WHAT Savior Grace can hear with WHAT

Rocky: also we need to invent something that emits electromagnetic energy of certain wavelengths or he won't be able to navigate his biodome. His "hearing" isn't the same as our hearing, he has several extra senses.

Eridians do not have senses of sight, taste, or smell, and their sense of touch is limited through their carapace (though presumably they feel touch beneath it and in their internal systems considering they can feel pain). Humans do not sense magnetic fields to navigate.

Scientists: what do you MEAN they have several extra senses