Gentle reminder that you can hold an abuser accountable for being an abuser and still be devastated by the loss of a life.

believing that liam’s family should be allowed to grieve his loss and not supporting an abuser are two things that can coexist btw

i think ultimately for me what it boils down to is that he was a part of 1d, a band that is such an integral part of life that i found my best friend through it and even now i'm making friends through the band and it's such a pivotal moment for me and liam in whatever means was part of it. sure he drifted on a different path and made some choices and changed as a person, in part because of the choices he made and in part because of the atmosphere of the band as a whole and how he desperately needed the help. i'm in no way excusing his recent behaviour, he should be held accountable for that. however, i am grieving because he was a part of me growing up and i never thought i would be reading the news about his death at such an early stage and how i'm shocked to the core thinking about the impermanence of life. i'm grieving for the boys and how they must be feeling and for his family who are going to find out about his passing through social media. i desperately wish he had received the help he needed and actively made choices to better his life, but the truth is what it is. i'm grieving for my teenage self because in more ways than one 1d was and is her entire life

i have no idea how to process this. it’s not unfathomable and it’s something i’ve thought about many times but i don’t actually know how to process it. what do you mean he was such an integral part of me growing up and he did some fucked up things in part bc of the fucked up environment he grew up in and now he’s DEAD and can’t do anything to try and make amends. what do u mean the boys now means harry louis liam niall zayn. what do you mean he left behind a child less than 10 years old. what the fuck do you mean

god please take away the hate that maya henry is about to get triple it and give it to johnny depp

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not sure if listening to the entire one direction discography rn is going to be cathartic or send me into a tailspin but

I feel so fucking lucky to have been shaped into the person I am today by One Direction. 2024 me does not exist as I am today, without them. How lucky am I to have be changed by them. I’m here today on this tumblr, with all of you- friends, mutuals, strangers- because of them. One Direction will always be woven into the fabric of my memories, experiences and dreams. That is a truth that cannot change. I am so so lucky to have loved them and be loved by so many of you because of them. Wow.

it's crazy to think that memories you've had for years will just never look or feel the same again. all those memories from 2012 when i first got into 1D, all the concerts, all the songs and the first time hearing those songs, the first time watching music videos, the posts and memes here on tumblr... like none of it will ever feel the same. it'll always be tinged by loss and a degree of emptiness from here on out.

i did not once ever have a full night’s sleep from 2013-2015. nothing new to say that hasn’t already been said but it was so fucking fun being a one direction fan while they were still releasing albums/touring. can’t even put it into words or describe it. u were constantly terrorized while also having the best time of ur life.