Baby Psyduck

We just not going to talk about how he can also do pottery? With chocolate?

And stickers!

he HAS A not chocolate version of that god damned bowl right there! TAUNTING US, and holding the not pastries kiwis!

This is really funny on dark mode

On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

I work at lush and these little bitches come all naked in a big box and we have to put their blankies on one at a time

Happy belated Mother's Day to all of the Lush employees swaddling extraterrestrial fetuses in the soap nursery. I hope you have the lemon-scented adventure of a lifetime.

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

@entities-of-posts textbook corruption example lol

Seconded

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

😩 i cant deal with this dawg

Wh-why is the crotch of the illustrative drawing censored???

Oh @trickstertime bc like scratching/touching "something" for good luck would in this case often be one's own penis/testicles (through the clothes). it's a thing superstitious dudes in Italy do AFAIK. the censorship in the diagram is a punchline, basically; without it, you wouldn't be able to immediately contextualize that that's why the hand is at crotch height, since the word 'scaramanzia' doesn't specifically refer to honking your own package. sorry to clutter up your notifs if someone else already explained! (edit: NOOO I DID THIS FROM MY AESTHETIC BLOG? LMAO)