The Lost Weasley

i hate it when people ask me “what are your interests in life?” dude i have no idea. i cannot explain. i'm not a person. i'm a collection of miracles, bound together by both sunlight and darkness. i'm also much more than that; i am a story, a home, a wolf that howls in the night. i'm the comet streaking through the sky on the way to do good and bright things.

behind every girlboss is another, bigger girlboss

they call this a pyramid scheme i think

lovecore this. cottagecore that. what about the reactor core its going to explode

“your password is weak” well so is my memory so plz let me keep it

valid target for home invasions

remember when hozier did the victorias secret fashion show. scream

youknow when kittens meow and their eyes get a bit smaller cos theur faces r so little they cant have their mouth and eyes all the way open at the same time I think about it so muxh

Life hack: take your own advice

difference between emperor penguin and king penguin is that a baby emperor penguin is a kind, gentle, benevolent creature, and a baby king penguin is the devil.

Me on two hours of sleep vs me on nine hours

thinkin about a baby of my acquaintance & how when her parents are hanging out & chatting, she’ll almost fully participate in the conversation–politely watching who’s talking, saying something approx the same length & tone of what her parents are saying, occasionally using a questioning cadence & looking at someone specific for an answer, laughing when they laugh–doing everything except actually using any recognizable language

this baby also once tipped me a granola bar at work. she’d been watching everyone in line very closely & when it was her parent’s turn, at exactly the right point in the transaction for a tip, she pickpocketed her mom’s granola bar & shoved it in the tip har

This baby has better social skills than me

“weather BOY” power move

this kid came straight out of an episode of lizzie mcguire