fel

YOU ARE A REGULAR CAT. YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK THINGS OFF SHELVES. YOU ARE A REGULAR CAT. YOU KNOW HOW TO SCREAM FOR FOOD. YOU ARE A REGULAR CAT. YOU WILL CATCH THE LASER POINTER SOMEDAY. YOU ARE A REGULAR CAT. YOU KNOW WHAT NAPPING IS. YOU ARE A REGULAR CAT. YOU KNOW HOW TO OPEN ONE EYE AND YAWN REAL BIG AND DO A BIIIIIG STRETCH.

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep

The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were

"Potassium cyanide. Arsenic trioxide. Polonium 210. Tetrachlorodibenzodioxin," I say, smugly and with full confidence, before downing the glass of wine my political rival insisted on pouring for me. Seconds later, she watches with a smirk as I collapse writhing to the ground, in the knowledge that I never could hit that "R" in "pinot noir" quite right

whos the blorbo you have the most merch of? it can be handmade or official or unofficial or ANYTHING just. merch

i exfoliated so crazy style today that if anyone tries to catch me i'll be like a sea cucumber btw

reading ppl's responses to this i'm realizing that while many people know sea cucumbers can expel internal organs to evade predators (not what i meant), far fewer people on this site anyway have had to pick up and move sea cucumbers around. fair. they're slippery was my point.

I think the reason I still enjoy tumblr is that even though this all still pisses me off, I know that anything that makes me mad on here is 100% earnest. It's not ragebait or engagement farming, y'all are actually just that stupid sometimes

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do me a favor and reblog this and put in the tags what time it is for you and what you're currently doing/thinking about

do me a favor and reblog this and put in the tags what time it is for you and what you're currently doing/thinking about

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

Honest to god I could write entire books on the fucked up little micro societies that exist solely in isolated gmod servers

my buddy and I were crawling some servers on gmod one day, just dinking around and being mild nuisances. we found one server where everyone had some ridiculous rank/title–various mythical creatures and wizards and stuff. We bothered someone badly enough (probably made a big mess of barrels or something) that we got put in jail, but we weren’t really interested in playing gmod as much as just goofing off, so we hung around the server for a while. the residents were chatting pretty casually, until someone, in a frantic tone, says “Janus is coming! We need to get this place cleaned up!” Janus logs in, and he has the title of God. Someone sheepishly asks “hey what’s up Janus?” Janus replies with an ear-splittingly loud buzzing static noise that drowns every sound on the server out. me and my buddy absolutely lost our minds