Hey so there's this well-meaning impulse that a lot of people have in a lot of domains to say "there is no such thing as a good X or a bad X, X is simply neutral and people can engage with X without you putting moral weight on it."
This is an impulse that I applaud, because a lot of what we're taught is good or bad IS neutral (and has no moral weight regardless).
But sometimes what happens is that people tip into "because X is morally neutral it is fine for everyone - including me - to do X as frequently or infrequently as they like." And that *can* be true for a great number of people and that *may* be true for you, but that is not necessarily true for everyone or for you all the time.
For example: I have a great number of food allergies, a poor attention span, limited free time, and essentially no appetite. I also have some education on nutrition, which tells me "there's no such thing as a good food or a bad food, no such thing as a healthy food or an unhealthy food; food provides nutrition, that's all."
That understanding of nutrition is not incorrect, but it is nonetheless not good *for me* to eat Amy's Gluten Free Frozen Burritos for ten meals a week even if that is what is easy, convenient, tastes good, and fits in my budget because eating Amy's Gluten Free Frozen Burritos for ten meals a week provides nutrition but does not represent a varied, balanced diet that includes micronutrients that would come with eating more fruits and vegetables and essential fats and amino acids that would come from varying my protein sources.
But that's my deal. When I'm eating Amy's Gluten Free Frozen Burritos for ten meals a week, given my limitations and schedule, it means that I am *not* making up for it with other foods, I'm using the availability of safe frozen burritos as an excuse not to do meal prep or go grocery shopping or leave my office. SOMEBODY ELSE might be perfectly capable of eating Amy's Gluten Free Frozen Burritos for ten meals a week and having a balanced diet that meets all their nutritional needs.
So, there's no moral weight to eating that way and eating that way is neither good nor bad as an overall concept applied to people in general, but it is bad and unhealthy *for me.*
There is no moral weight to being tidy or messy, but if living in a messy environment is less stressful for you than attempting to keep your space at an arbitrary tidiness set point, being messy might be good *for you.* There is no moral weight to working out, but if you find yourself working out for multiple hours a day and getting anxious if you can't spend that much time exercising, and getting angry at yourself if you miss a day at the gym, working out the way that you have been may be bad *for you.*
The same is true of polyamory, media consumption, extrinsic motivation, introspection, and everything else.
It is worthwhile to question whether you've been unfairly judging things as "good" or "bad" based on the society you were raised in and what you've been taught by the people around you, but it is also worthwhile to periodically reassess whether you actually feel better when you're eating Amy's Gluten Free Frozen Burritos for ten meals a week.
(this post brought to you by a post I saw on my dash and agreed with but didn't want to jump off of in case it was too personal and this is too preachy)
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