Theonlypunyouneed

You guys are always like "being crushed by 10,000 tons of rock probably feels good as hell" or "being torn to pieces by hunting dogs would low key fix me" and I feel like those things would actually be unpleasant.

How about "Drinking an ice cold strawberry milkshake probably feels good as hell". Do you guys like that one.

richard nixon is q*eer because he did watergate, subverting the societal expectation we all had for him to not do watergate

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

@commodityproduction

no offense to the english but i just found out england has only ever won the world cup once.. wtf do you mean “it’s coming home” she doesn’t even know you omg

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

i think the internet should transition from being so usa-centric to being brazil-centric. not cos i have any personal connection or bias towards brazil, i just think if anyone could possibly usurp america’s cultural dominance online it’d be them