you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping
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@theo-neders
you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping

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one thing about me is that im a wiggler. you can count on me to squirm. even writhe, when the occasion calls for it.
help help did they get rid of the auto reblog button on here
why do some companies send whole emails just to say someone opened your resume. what use is this information to me. i opened a jug of orange juice this morning and i didnt feel the need to alert tropicana
sorry for accidentally phrasing this exactly like a seinfeld bit
fun with the safety sign generator

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i've been going through old tweets and tumblr posts from high school and it has me so emotional, i am so glad for every cringe thing i ever posted i love past alicia she is so fascinating
Daily Mirror, England, January 22, 1909 Image © The British Library Board. All Rights Reserved.
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my favorite greentext is the “everything in this world is part of my game” one hold on i’ll find it
i quote this so much

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i can tell i’m sleep deprived bc i just made myself cry about tutankhamun and i have, like, negative interest in the kid
have now made the rest of the discord cry about this little boy who had multi-coloured ducks sewn onto a tunic that he loved so much he wore it to a Very Important Event because he was EIGHT and have you SEEN my DUCKS
sorry no i’m not done i’m gonna make you all cry some more i’m bringing you down with me
there was once a little boy.
he is born disabled. his body hurts, and he can’t walk properly the way the other children do. he doesn’t understand why. he’s a little boy. but he plays with wooden boats and pulls toys on a string.
somebody makes him a tunic. they sew ducks onto it in red and green and yellow and blue. the bright colours of a child.
the little boy is eight years old, and he’s going to be king now. there’s a big ceremony about it. he doesn’t really fully understand what’s going on, because he’s eight, but he wears the tunic with the brightly coloured ducks for the occasion because he loves it. look at his ducks! aren’t they great?
he is a child. the adults around him manipulate and coax him to gain more power for themselves. he still plays with toys.
as a teenager, not yet an adult, he fathers children. they do not survive. he’s not even old enough to have full agency in his job and is still being manipulated, but he had babies and they died.
he does not make it to his twenties. at eighteen or nineteen years old he dies, and is buried. his babies, so tiny, are buried with him.
and so is his tunic with the little ducks that he loved so much he kept it long after it no longer fit.
there was once a little boy.
yeah i think that like. especially with historical figures in your mind people who were kings and queens or important nobles were adults. even if you know how old they were it doesn’t really click. it doesn’t seem real
but then you get something like a little tunic with brightly coloured ducks on it and it hits you like a fucking truck that this really was a little kid and no matter how far removed you are a little kid is still a little kid. their brains didn’t develop any quicker back then. he was just as developed/mature mentally as any 8 year old now. he had cartoonish animals on his clothes and he played with toy boats and probably terrorised the local cat population.
tutankhamun was a child and he didn’t make it to adulthood because he was unfortunate enough to be a very important child
his dad died when he was 8. he saw his own babies die when he was still just a boy himself.
but he had brightly coloured little ducks on his favourite shirt, and he kept it.
and he did not just keep the duckie shirt either
tutankhamun had a little pair of sandals with ducks on them. he had earrings decorated with ducks. he kept those, and other items of childhood clothing. some toys. keepsakes. things he loved, and treasured. he kept them all in a little wooden chest. the chest… was carved with ducks.
and that little duck chest, filled with things he kept from his childhood, was buried with him. maybe he was keeping them for the little babies who did not make it. maybe they just reminded him of good days and fun times.
but he was a little boy who thought ducks were just the best
WITH PLEASURE
(greyscale makes it hard but the duck head is on the right above the toe strap. always takes me a while to find it too)
your tag “sometimes a historian is someone who etches marks on the wall to catalogue your growth” made me clutch my chest and sit down. yes. i’m literally going into a public history grad program next year and you just casually summed up the entire field and why i love it. thank you
here is a gravestone from ancient Athens, a young girl with her favorite pets.
here is a food-sharing scene from the Maya site Calakmul. when they remodeled the building, the people there packed this mural with mud to preserve it.
here is a child’s footprint stamped into clay in Mesopotamia more than 2000 years ago. many of these have been found, and some are inscribed with the children’s names.
we don’t want to forget each other. that’s history.
oh to be a chunky orange farm cat
I HAVE A CHUNKY ORANGE FARM CAT
his name is bathtub
oh i love bathtub
spiritually i’m working at a video rental store and recommending gross-out horror flicks to the trio of neighborhood rascals over the counter

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Thots on the Pope
So the pope has thots now
okay i made another quiz but this time it’s which monster you’ll get to hook up with. reblog with your result!!
is it just me or did the second question have anybody else like
I think I got demon the first time I took this quiz but this time I got werewolf.
So I can 100% confirm that it’s good quiz.