when we were in the museum gift shop i was in the middle of telling him about something and i saw they had jellycats and i literally stopped talking and did a double take 🧍 then acted like i just saw an ex im trying to avoid

i cant explain what it was like to call your friend as youre starting your drive out of the city to her house and maps just fucking kills itself so youre entirely relying on her getting you to her place with verbal directions and at one point she FORGETS she is your entire ground control and SETS HER PHONE DOWN and WALKS AWAY....

my reels are literally all age gap posts 🧍

the autistic double edged sword is that you cant be held accountable for not understanding sarcastic jokes and thus other people cant be held accountable when they dont get your own sarcastic jokes

god i have sunday locked DOWNNN im going to the museum w hot guy then going straight to my besties house to watch moviesss eek!!

told this kid if i see his undies one more time im gonna saran wrap his waist line and he told me when he worked at the ice cream shop across the street they would actually do that to him