i Love vaccines, autism, abortions, homosexuals, sex changes and crime

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

screw bedtime 😈😈 tonight we are staying up until 9pm

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

you couldnt imagine what it was like to be 10 years old and listen to radioactive by imagine dragons

its … it’s almost like it was enough to make your systems blow

I love nautical and seaside town horror stories. Tell me more about the fog and water that eats people