Evolution of Nissan

My cat does this before throwing up

Wow almost as if the clothes weren’t the problem and men just want to control women

HELP HIM TAKE SIPPY

Who enchanted this PFUCKING wizard

Attack of the clones

Me with everything I make fun of

octopuses die after they have sex for the first time by the way. and squidward just happens to still be alive and well.

I can never leave tumblr because where else am I gonna see discourse over whether squidward is an octopus or a squid and therefore whether he’s had sex

we opened at 11 this morning. i watched an old man literally pry the fucking sliding doors open at 10:43 and stand there just staring into the empty store and my coworker & i were like sir. for the love of fuck

I worked in a restaurant for while and a woman climbed past an A board sign, ignored the sign on a the door saying the opening times and trotted on in. When told we were not open she asked why the door was unlocked. My manager explained that it has to be unlocked when people are in the building to comply with fire regulations. Which lead to my favourite exchange with a customer: Woman: But there are no people in here. Manager: Madam. The staff count as people. Woman: That’s ridiculous. *Storms out*

“The staff count as people” has me dead