MarauderLife

Harry went back to the burrow. He was on his own, since Ron had wanted to find the rest of his family, and Hermione had gone with him. Part of him had wondered if he should have gone back inside, but he didn’t think he could bare seeing the looks on people’s faces; the mingled expressions of grief and awe, despair and elation. He couldn’t stand the bone-crushing hugs he knew he would be swamped with, couldn’t imagine being faced with weeping wizards, filled with sorrow and gratitude. Most of all, he didn’t want to see the bodies lying amongst the rubble. The pale faces of his friends, staring emptily up at him. He couldn’t bare it. Ginny had offered to come with him, but he had told her to stay with her brothers. They all needed each other right now, and he needed to be alone. Her eyes had been filled with pain, but he saw the understanding in them too as she gave his hand a tight squeeze. She understood him better than anyone.

So here he was now, alone in the place that had bought him so much happiness over the years. His second home. Slowly, he made his way up the creaky staircase, which curled around the crooked house. He trailed his fingers along the walls, rammed with pictures of witches and wizards all smiling and waving at him, asking why he looked so miserable.

He didn’t answer.

Finally, he arrived at the floor of Ron’s room. His room. The door opened with a creak, and he took in the messy floor, the messy bed, the clothes scattered around after their abrupt departure. A grief stronger than anything he’d ever known suddenly hit him in the chest and he slumped onto the bed, eyes squeezed shut. Faces flashed in front of his eyes; the faces of the people he’d never wanted to lose. Suddenly this house, this room, was filled with too many memories- they squeezed him, constricting his lungs. He couldn’t breathe.

Harry ran to the window, throwing it open and taking deep, gulping gasps of air. His hands shook on the window sill. He couldn't do this; how was he meant to cope with this? All those deaths- all those faces, they were on his hands.

He stared at the overgrown grass below him, for the first time in his life imagining what it would be like to fall- just let go and leave it all behind. He knew he’d never do it, not really, but the thought somehow began to undo the knot in his chest. “I’m sorry.” he muttered to the sky, to the world, to the families of the people who were gone and to the all the ones he’d let down. “I’m sorry.”

And then he saw it. At first, he thought it was just a figment of his imagination- a dark shape slowly appearing out of the grey sky. But then it came closer, and closer, and finally she was perched right in front of him.

Harry couldn’t breathe; a hard lump had formed in his throat. He must have been dreaming.

There was a long pause.

“Hedwig?” he whispered, voice breaking.

She blinked at him, her round, wise eyes filled with compassion so strong that he was certain she understood exactly how he felt.

“Are you real?” he croaked, not daring to believe it.

She let out a soft coo, and that was his downfall. He broke down, sobs racking at his chest as he pulled her towards him. She didn’t even nip at him, or scratch him for holding her like this; somehow, she knew that Harry needed this. He needed a friend, and this one had been through everything with him.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that; him clutching a bird, the best friend he’d thought he’d never see again, but eventually things began to feel a little lighter, a little more endurable. He felt like he could breathe again.

Hedwig looked at him one last time, and Harry felt a warm glow that started in his chest and spread to his whole body, reaching down to his toes. He watched as she stretched out her wings and flew from the window sill, a beacon of hope swooping through the grey sky.

Little bit of Jily love.

James Potter could light up a room. With his contagious laughter and that crooked grin, he knew how to make people laugh. He always seemed to be cheerful about something- eyes dancing with a mischievous sort of laughter that worried his teachers and inspired his fellow pupils, and, somehow, he always seemed to know how to fit in. He knew exactly what to say to make even the most miserable people smile, and the most uptight people laugh. James was someone who everyone liked, someone you couldn’t help but like. The teachers knew it too. Even though they complained about ‘Potter and his friends’, they all adored that boyish charm of his- saw the good heart underneath that cocky exterior, and loved him for it. 

He could make himself at home, too. James Potter always seemed to be perfectly at ease, even when he was right in the thick of it, as he usually was. Nothing  would appear to faze him as he’d lean back in his chair with that smile playing on his lips. Even when he was a complete nitwit, people liked him. He was funny, kind, clever. He wore an arrogance that he grew into, managed to subdue it as he matured, until it became confidence- woven into his skin in a way that gave others confidence, too. He was known for his lovable untidiness- his messy hair and a ruffled shirt that never seem to stay tucked in for long. It didn’t help that he was always moving- rocking on his chair, fiddling with his quill, or tapping his fingers on his leg. That boy couldn’t stand still- and it only got worse when Lily Evans walked into a room. Everyone could see how James would straighten slightly- his eyes would follow her as she entered, his hand unconsciously reaching up to ruffle his hair, his leg beginning to jiggle the floorboards. Everyone except for her, that was.

Because Lily Evans could light up a room, too. Although, she worked her magic in different ways. Lily Evans was not centrestage like James. No. She would drift along the sidelines, warming people with her smile and her kind eyes, welcoming them in with her warm heart. Lily would waft around a room, giving support where it was needed, gently cheering others on in a way that was so important, yet so understated. She could make people smile with ease, would hand out quiet compliments or make little sarcastic comments that would make them feel better. She was sharp tongued enough to give her a spark, but never took it too far- she had control, you see. Unlike James, who slipped up constantly, smoothing things over with a cheeky grin that had Lily rolling her eyes and pursing her lips. For even though she was sweet-tempered most days, James Potter seemed to be the exception to the rule. The person who could bring out her stinging side in a matter of seconds, who made her green eyes narrow and her fists clench, who seemed to draw on her every nerve and test her every restraint. She was like a slow burning fire- warm and comforting, but spitting and sharp if tended to too much. And James Potter simply didn’t give up.

So after an incredibly long hiatus where I have moved to the south of England, started a new college and done a million other things, I have returned on the death day of my babies, Jily. I decided it’d be too angsty to do a Jily fic, (and I’m pretty sure I did one last year), so here’s a little Sirius fic for you all! I’ve missed you Tumblr. Happy Halloween!

Non-requested

My head span in that familiar sickening way, stomach twisting and turning until, finally, it stopped. I stepped out of the fireplace and onto the familiar carpeted floor of our living room, exhausted, but glad to be home.

“(Y/N).” Sirius breathed, the relief obvious on his face. He was stood in the living room, waiting for  me; I could tell by the anxious expression on his face and the tension in his shoulders that he’d been pacing, and I opened my mouth to comfort him.

But before I could speak, he strode forward, pulling me into his arms. I buried my head in his chest, cherishing the warmth and comfort of him, fitting into his body the way I always had. “You’re later than usual.” he muttered into my hair.

I sighed, wishing we could stay like this forever, wishing we didn’t have to worry about each other like this. “I know.” I replied. “There were some complications.”

His voice was hoarse. “You had me worried.”

Briefly, I shut my eyes. “I know. I’m sorry.”

His grip tightened for a moment, a silent show of alleviation, before pulling away. The tension had begun to leak out of his body and his mouth curled up into that familiar grin of his. After all this time, it still managed to send butterflies shooting through my stomach.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).” he said.

I really love the idea of these guys being close friends, so thought I'd write a little Drabble...

The library was quiet, with only the faint sound of footsteps and the turning of an odd page filling the silence. It was getting on for nine o'clock and students had gradually begun to drift back to their common rooms, meaning only the few who preferred the peace and quiet of the library remained.

Remus Lupin sat at a desk in the far corner of the room, surrounded by the tall, comforting shelves of books as he immersed himself in the essay he was writing. Or trying to write. He’d re-read the title about a hundred times now, trying to think of some way to start it: “The problems and issues with modern-day werewolves.”

It should have been a breeze. He, of course, knew better than anyone what it was like to be a werewolf, knew first hand what it was like to be an outcast, constantly worrying about hurting someone or people discovering his secret.

And yet.

He couldn’t seem to get the words out, couldn’t quite decide how to express the internal struggle he faced every day; he felt as if it were something that simply  couldn’t be explained through words. No one could understand the agony, the fear, the crippling anxiety that chewed at him from the inside outward every day, and the knowledge of this had led to the quiet frustration that explained why Remus had been sat in an empty corner of the library for the past three hours.   

He mentally cursed himself, curling his hand into a fist as he stared at the empty piece of parchment. Was this really what he had come to? Remus Lupin- the boy who had struggled with his disease; who had watched his friends and family lose their loved ones to the war; who planned to join the Order of the Phoenix once he graduated- had been defeated by a measly essay on werewolves.

He felt the tears burn at his eyes and angrily swiped them away, feeling frustrated and tired and stupid.

“Remus?”

He swore, snatching his wand off the desk and whirling around to face the intruder.

It was Marlene. She held up her hands, a small smile playing on her face. “Woah there, Lupin. No death eaters here. Just me.”

He sighed, turning back around and letting his wand clatter onto the table. “Hi, Marls.” he replied, sounding defeated.

She frowned at his tone, a crease appearing in her forehead as she took a seat beside him. “And here I was thinking you’d be plotting some prank with those stupid friends of yours. What’s the matter?”

He shrugged, avoiding her probing gaze. “Just working on an essay.” He laughed, humourlessly. “It’s not going very well.”

She glanced at his parchment and realisation dawned on her face as she read the title. “I see.” she replied, her voice hardening. There was a pause, then, “Remus…”

He couldn’t stand that pitying note in her voice; and by couldn’t stand, he meant the sound of it made him feel sick to the stomach. “I better get on with this.” he said, his voice a grade harsher than usual. The implication that he wanted to be alone was obvious.

Marlene didn’t budge. “Remus, don’t do that. Don’t push me away.”

He looked at her, and the pain in his eyes made her stomach clench. “Why shouldn’t I, Marlene?” he asked, letting out another grating laugh; the sound was filled with misery. “Why shouldn’t I push people away? It seems to be what I’m best at.”

“That’s enough.” Her voice was firm, resolute. “I will not let you be broken by this, Remus. You’ve been through too much to fall down now.” She took his hand and clutched it tightly. “You are the bravest person I know, and I refuse to let you think you’re some kind of coward just because you’re human like the rest of us.”

“But I’m not human.” he said weakly. “Look at me.” He gestured at the faint white scars on his arm. “I’m a monster. I kill and hurt and I don’t deserve friends like you.”

Her eyes scorched with a fiery determination. “You are the best of us, Remus! Don’t you see that without you, we would be nowhere? You are the glue that binds us all together. You are strong and kind and good, and we would all be much, much worse off without you. So don’t act like your worthless. Don’t think that for one minute. Because you, Remus Lupin, are worth the world.”

His gaze flickered over his face, looking for a seed of doubt, some kind of hint that she was lying, but he found none. Her words had rendered him speechless and he felt a lump form in his throat. “Marlene…”

“Shh.” she replied, wearing a gentle smile as she gave his hand a squeeze. “Let’s not worry about it now. First, we need to finish this god-awful essay.”

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

Addie left the carriage a little while after Lily, on the pretence of going to find Alice. Truthfully, she just didn’t want to talk about boys any longer. The conversation was boring the life out of her- it wasn’t anything like the train ride she’d been looking forward to.

As she walked along the train, she noticed James leaning out the window in the cramped corridor. He held an unlit cigarette between his lips as the cool wind whipped his messy hair about. “Hey, Potter!” she called, and he turned to her, looking miserable. They were close friends, considering they were both chasers on the quidditch team and had similar sense of humours, (though Addie liked to think of herself as more mature than the marauder), so a worried crease appeared on her forehead. James had always made her laugh, and they’d been mates since he’d helped her out in second year. A third year Slytherin had jinxed her, so he'd summoned a box of dragon plasters from his trunk for her scraped knee, before he and Sirius had given the said attacker a face full of pimples. From then on, they’d looked out for each other, so she stopped by.

“Come on James, you can’t be depressed already- we’re not even at school yet.” she joked, trying to cheer him up. He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes, and pocketed his cigarette.

“Hey, Addie.” He pulled her into a hug. Internally, she commented on how he'd grown- her head barely reached his chest now. Why was it boys always shot up over the holidays? “You alright?”

“I’m fine.” She frowned as he released her. “But since when did you start smoking?”

“Oh, that…” He looked away, embarrassed. “Bad habit I picked up over summer. I guess I had a lot on my mind.”

“I can see that.” She crossed her arms, but refrained from lecturing him. Obviously, he didn’t need one right now.

Thank you very much! Yeah I have to admit I found the idea a little hard to get into when I first started Tumblr too, but since I don’t really ship Blackinnon or Wolfstar I figured this was the best way to approach romantic stories revolving around the Marauders and Sirius.

So finally I wrote something! It’s a little shitty but I’ve had awful writers block, so thank you so much for being patient with me and now my exams are drawing to a close I’ll hopefully be able to write much more over summer! Enjoy x

The museum opened out onto a little courtyard with a square of grass and blossom trees planted around it. The path was still cobbled, but it was neater here, well cared for. My heart was hammering in my chest, nerves writhing in my stomach at the thought of seeing Sirius again; I knew all the girls in my year would be thrilled to be in my position, but I just felt anxious. I stood at the corner of the grass, clutching my satchel bag to me tightly. Where was he?

Just as I was about to go in search of him around the museum, a voice appeared behind me.

“You’re late.”

I jumped and whirled around, glaring at him. “Do you always have to do that?” I demanded, shifting my bag uncomfortably. He looked just as handsome as I remembered in a long-sleeved grey top and black jeans, his dark hair tucked behind his ears and grey eyes sparkling in the sunlight; my throat went dry at the sight of him. He smirked, and butterflies exploded in my stomach.

“Do what?” he asked, his voice dripping with innocence.

I scowled. “Come up behind me and-” seeing the amusement twinkle in his eyes, I cut off abruptly. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

He laughed. It was a startlingly pleasant sound, filling with warmth, and I had to wonder where the hell his sarcastic twin had gone- the usual snarky Sirius I crossed paths with seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth. “I’m known to be a troublemaker, (Y/N).”

He winked at me, but his joke bought back the unease I’d felt earlier; why would Sirius Black want to go on a date with me? It had to be some kind of joke. “Speaking of which, you haven’t bought anyone, have you?” I checked, glancing behind him. “James isn’t going to jump out from behind a bush, I hope.”

He laughed again, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Nope. That I can promise. Just me.”

Hmm, I would never describe Sirius as ‘just’ anything, but let the comment slide, feeling relieved. “Good.”

There was a slight pause.

“So,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “What do you want to do first?” He glanced around and I felt a twinge of worry; I loved this museum, hidden away in the middle of London, but I wasn’t so sure if Sirius would. He’d probably think it was boring, and me nerdy for liking it.

“I was thinking we could go around the museum first?” I suggested, tugging nervously at the sleeves of my jumper.

He swung his arm around my shoulders, dispelling my worries with that easy grin of his. “Lead the way.”

noooo 

The first time James saw her, she was frowning. Stood by the Hogwarts Express, with her her fiery red hair plaited haphazardly into two braids, she appeared to be arguing with a blonde girl who he guessed must be her sister. He watched as the aforementioned blonde- who was wearing a particularly sour expression- sneered something at her and stormed off, leaving the red-head’s shoulders to slump as she hugged her parents goodbye. James wondered if her sister was always that stroppy.

The first time she laid eyes on him, he was laughing. Stood outside the compartment she was sat in with Sev, his hair a haphazard mess as he chatted with an aristocratic boy who looked liked he belonged to a rich family. He wore expensive robes and rounded glasses like her father did, but that didn’t fool her; she knew by their smirks that they were troublemakers- boys her mother warned her to stay away from- and Lily hoped they wouldn’t sit in her compartment.

The first time they scowled at each other, she was filled with pride as the hat called GRYFFINDOR! and he watched her hurry over to the table he was sat at. He wondered if she’d come and sit by him, but from the way her nose wrinkled as their eyes met, he figured she probably wouldn’t. Strange, he thought, as she glared up at him from the table. No one had ever disliked him before. He glared back anyway.

The first time they smiled at each other, they had just stopped Mulciber from hexing a Hufflepuff boy in their Care of Magical Creatures lesson. Who knew two first years could pull off a Twitchy-ears hex on a third year? As he ran off, red-faced and clutching his ears, they couldn’t help but share a smile. They knew payback would most likely be coming, but they couldn’t help a small moment of victory.

The first time they argued with each other, it happened in the middle of the Gryffindor common room, and had something to do with Severus. No one really understood what had happened over the spitting of insults between the pair, but they couldn’t understand how James Potter wasn’t afraid of the furious red-head, (though he was secretly marvelling at the pretty girl who was surprisingly as sharp-tongued as Sirius). When wands were drawn, it was Remus who split it up.

The first time they laughed with each other was in third year. After two years of rivalry, it came as a shock to the whole of Gryffindor when Lily Evans and James Potter both burst out laughing at an apparently ‘hilarious’ expression Sirius Black was wearing. The disgruntled victim thought they’d been hit by a cheering charm, which only made the pair laugh harder. They went back to their feud the very next day.

The first time they were partnered up together was in potions class. She decided he was a ‘big-headed idiot’ as they bickered over which ingredients to put in the potion, and he refused to let her stir. He concluded she was a ‘right know-all’, but he couldn’t deny he liked her sarcastic streak- not that he’d ever tell her that.  A row ensued when their potion exploded all over their desk, and Slughorn decided he wouldn’t pair them up again.

The first time he asked her out had been in fourth year. It had sort of- somehow- slipped out mid-argument, and after surprise had flashed in her eyes she’d replied ‘never in your wildest dreams’. To cover up his disappointment, James had made it a running joke from then on, though his pride had been hurt for at least a month.

The first time they pranked someone together, their victim was Bellatrix. It had to be- it was, of course, her last day, and she definitely deserved it. The bucket of maple syrup and feathers had been James’s idea, but the finishing touch of the Tarantallegra charm had been Lily’s. James had stated she’d done a “Good job, Evans”, rather begrudgingly. She’d held back a grin.

The first time they snuck out together, it was to collect chocolates for Remus on his birthday, in fifth year. Lily had once stated she’d “never go under Potter’s invisibility cloak”, which he happily reminded her of multiple times on the journey. They may or may not have eaten some of the chocolate on the way back, but Remus didn’t mind. In fact, Lily had never seen him happier.

The first time they cried together was the sixth year, just before they left for Christmas, when James’s father had passed away. She’d found him by the fire and sat with him until morning, both pretending they weren’t scared of this war as they clutched hands. Lily visited him for the first time that holiday, with a bouquet of flowers for his mum.

The first time they got drunk together they played exploding snap in Lily’s dorm until three a.m. The game ended when Sirius and Marlene started making out a little too ferociously, and Peter passed out on the floor, snoring. Remus and James helped carry him back to their dorm and Lily went to bed with her heart beating quickly and a smile on her face.

The first time they went on a date, it wasn’t planned. Well, not by them at least. Their friends abandoned them, leaving them red-cheeked when they cottoned on. They’d gone to the Three broomsticks anyway, and laughed until they cried over a pitcher of butterbeer. James couldn’t help but feel he was falling completely, and Lily decided that maybe her heart had thawed a little for the boy she once loathed. Their friends wore smug looks for a fortnight afterwards.

The first time they kissed, it was Lily who initiated it, surprisingly. They’d been skipping around each other for weeks, and she finally had the guts to do it at a celebratory quidditch party when she was (more than a little bit) tipsy, and decided she had nothing to lose. It was sloppy and haphazard, but Lily thought her insides might explode. James wouldn’t stop grinning.

The first time he told her he loved her, they were seventeen. She was sprawled on the grass, a book in her hand and her hair fanning out behind her. He’d known it for a long time, he realised, looking at the concentration on her face. It seemed to slip off his tongue so easily that he didn’t even realise it had been said. Lily whispered it back as she entwined her hands around his neck and their lips connected.

The first time they had sex it was awkward and embarrassing, but pleasant at the same time. It wasn’t anything like they’d seen in muggle movies; there was giggling, (mostly on Lily’s part, much to the annoyance of James), and low murmurs of encouragement, but by the time they were done both were smiling. The second time was much, much better.

The first time they saw their baby, they were twenty years old. Lily never thought she could love someone as much as she loved James, but oh, how wrong she was. As they held their son between them, she never thought she could love anything quite as much as her two boys, with their messy dark hair and beautiful hearts. She thought her own heart might explode with the strength of her love.

The last time they saw each other she was cradling their little baby in her arms. And, as the wand was pointed at his face, no one could know how James wished he’d turned to look at her just one last time before she’d left the room- even though he didn’t really need to. As his eyes closed, a picture of her was burned into his mind, as bright as the sun.