Welcome to the Weenie Brigade

Just ate a whole chipotle burrito in bed. No plate. Stuffed so fucking full the burritista couldn’t get the tortilla around the bitch. Ate the whole thing down to the last bite. Didn’t spill a bean, not even a drop of sour cream hit my sheets. And girls wanna ask me about MY head game? 🙄

Ladies i know you see this theres no need to be shy

Ladies do you know what it means to be immortal

The fact that you can’t raise taxes on billionaires even slightly without them pouring money into fascist political movements is, of itself, evidence that billionaires as a class shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place.

You, ah, don’t think it’s unfair to judge people’s morals based on their finances?

I, ah, think that it’s perfectly fair to judge people’s morals based on the amount of money they pour into neo-nazi political movements, yeah actually.

"kill them with kindness" wrong. SAW TRAP 🪚⛓️🩸⚙️⛓️꩜🔪🩸🪚⛓️🩸꩜⚙️🔪🩸🩸🪚꩜🪚⛓️⚙️⛓️🩸🔪꩜🩸⛓️⚙️🩸⚙️🪚⛓️🩸꩜🔪꩜🪚🪚⚙️🩸🩸🪚⛓️🩸⚙️⛓️꩜🔪🩸🪚⛓️🩸꩜⚙️🔪🩸🩸🪚꩜🪚⛓️⚙️⛓️🩸🔪꩜🩸⛓️⚙️🩸⚙️🪚⛓️🩸꩜🔪꩜🪚🪚⚙️🩸🩸🪚⛓️🩸⚙️⛓️꩜🔪🩸🪚⛓️🩸꩜⚙️🔪🩸🩸🪚꩜🪚⛓️⚙️⛓️🩸🔪꩜🩸⛓️⚙️🩸⚙️🪚⛓️🩸꩜🔪꩜🪚

apparently “”limiting my emotional range” and “crushing my libido” are symptoms of the wrong medication, and not, in fact, the sorcerers curse

Honorary Scientology post

Apparently, the Sorcerer's Curse is deactivation! :D +1 Sorcerers, -1 Scientology

brushing one's teeth... a farewell to treats. good night, sweet delicacies, my mouth knows only tooth paste now. perhaps when a new day breaks we will meet once more

3500 years ago a bunch of people decided to build a tower to the sky and now I have to worry about keeping up my Duolingo streak

why would you blame the people reaching for heaven instead of the god who cursed them

add that one to the list, boys

To all rappers over the age of 40...put down the pen and pick up a flute, your grown ass needs to be doing JAZZ! you need to in your Dana Owens bag

You are grown with kids n grandkids...if you don't get in that studio and start singing some Fitzgerald like an adult!

thanksgiving is like the superbowl for r/AmItheAsshole

i hate when i get so sleepy at the end of hanging out like hey sorry gang unfortunately they tolt me its time for me to put on my nightgown and light my candle now