autistic & horny

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an abridged list, it's a work in progress

i learned very quickly that if i said "im tired all the time and cant find the motivation to do schoolwork" theyd say "no ur just lazy, stop making excuses" and if i said "my ritalin makes me feel uncomfortable and itchy all day" theyd say "stop being difficult and just take the pills" and theyre the adults and im just a lying lazy kid so what they say goes

so since correctly identifying and expressing my feelings was punished i focused instead on making excuses that adults would accept. "i cant bear to spend another day doing busywork in that awful windowless building where all the students and faculty hate me" turned into "i just threw up". until i learned to skip the step where i ask myself why i feel so awful, bc that information sure isnt going to help me

i learned very quickly that if i said "im tired all the time and cant find the motivation to do schoolwork" theyd say "no ur just lazy, stop making excuses" and if i said "my ritalin makes me feel uncomfortable and itchy all day" theyd say "stop being difficult and just take the pills" and theyre the adults and im just a lying lazy kid so what they say goes

so since correctly identifying and expressing my feelings was punished i focused instead on making excuses that adults would accept. "i cant bear to spend another day doing busywork in that awful windowless building where all the students and faculty hate me" turned into "i just threw up". until i learned to skip the step where i ask myself why i feel so awful, bc that information sure isnt going to help me

supernatural screencaps.