Please Locate Your Nearest Exit

the meaning of life is summed up in the story elmer bendiner tells about how when he was a pilot the second world war, his plane was hit with a barrage of anti-aircraft fire from the nazi forces but the crew survived. and how everyone was saying it was a miracle until they investigated the shells that got in the fuselage and found there was no explosive charges in any of them. in one they found a note scribbled in czech, written by the person who had been forced to manufacture the shells, and it just said ‘this is all we can do for you now’.

every time i see someone acting tough online about how harm reduction is pointless and in some convoluted way worse than doing nothing i think about that person in some soul-destroying nazi factory in occupied czechoslovakia removing all of the explosive charges from their anti-aircraft shells and writing a note that they must have known would probably never be read, just to say ‘this is all we can do for you, and we’re going to do it’. they are trying to make us kill you and we refuse. i do think that maybe it’s all going to be okay.

Don’t make me cry when I’m in the car with my family

yr locked in a room alone with three adult men but you feel perfectly safe. who are they

keanu reeves and two dead guys

ok this one made me laugh

had a dream that a masked guy with a knife was standing outside my window while i was making dinner and when i acknowledged his presence and asked him what he wanted he told me that i was really bad at chopping onions and that if i let him in he could show me how to do it properly. so because dream me is a fucking dumbass i let him in and of course he chased me and stabbed me. but as i was bleeding out i realized i could be hilarious about it. so i looked up at him and said "wow you're really bad at chopping onions" and he got so mad he killed me.

heartbreaking: worst person you know makes a good point

i did not need to know that

I think my favorite thing about this post is how when you watch the video again it’s incredibly obvious that he’s a manakin, and yet because one fucking dude on twitter claimed to be the person who made the video everyone is citing that tweet like it’s a fucking scholarly source.

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

I recommend scrolling to a port and start clicking the fuschia dots. They’re pleasure crafts, owned by civilians, and they have the most amazing names.