Speedy audiobook reader

Dude if you lead me into temptation instead of delivering me from evil i fucking swear bro

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

Everyone cross your fingers that Schmigadoon's success on Broadway brings back Schmigadoon on Apple TV because we were about to get the 80s megamusical era!

I'm a sucker for a good "you think you're in one horror subgenre but it's actually a different horror subgenre". character struggling to accept that maybe demons are tormenting them suddenly finds out it's actually aliens. trope of all time tbh

ok so its a pretty good story but you know what would make it better? a liar. a character who lies. maybe two.

My understanding is that she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?

shakespeare would understand me taking two of his background characters and making them fuck nasty. he would get it

if i were a vampire i would do many things. but getting interviewed is not one of them

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again