Fruity But Bitter

i.e. why when you or someone else gets stabbed or impaled, you should leave the object in the wound until medical help arrives.

i feel like that last comment should be accompanied by a bill-wurtz-style jingle

Of course black people are here to save tiktok

I’m not even playin this is THE first tiktok that has actually made me laugh

THE ACTING

I legitimately want to know what the wife’s reaction to this was.  I know she deserves to go to jail for attempted murder, but I can only just wonder what was going through her head when she saw him get out of bed complaining of a headache.

I’m putting my foot down, if you don’t Know you’re flirting you’re not Flirting. Flirting requires knowledge and intent. If you’re not doing it on purpose you’re just bantering. I will die on this hill, yes.

I always feel like people think I’m flirting and that makes me feel unsafe. this makes me feel like I have some agency and that I can just kinda say, “no, flirting requires forethought. we’re just talking and I’m being nice.”

SAY THIS LOUDER

THANK YOU I can’t tell when I or others are flirting or not and this gives me peace

Why is the baby’s legs so god damn long???

Because he should be fucking walking

Baby got 8 year old legs.

Lmaooooooooooo there’s a lot going on

everytime i move i crunch like popcorn

and everytime we kiss i swear i could fly

(over the intercom) could we get a vibe check at the front register please