TheCowHero

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

dying in a horror movie bc the sound of me opening my dr pepper echoes across the field loud as fuck and i am located instantly

Hello hello my little soon to be angels, this is the pilot speaking ;)

she let me hit because i say things like “okie dokie”

Science is closed forever, one of the mice threw up

wow! that was a fun accidental 2 hour session of video's game. now to go to the kitchen to check on my pet Pot Of Boiling Water...

whenever I have buffalo wings I always wipe my hands on my dog and he screams loud as fuckkkkk

doggy style means you get a treat after btw <3

When I say I'm bouncing on it, this is what I mean

we are the daughters of the parents who had sex and got pregnant

my life fucking sucks because they dont let me play with grenade launcher

a litter of baby geiger counters gathered around their mother clicking peacefully

Bro I saw the cutest gnome ever on my morning hike today but it was an invasive species so I had to beat it to shit & death and berry it's carcass away from the glade 😭

i am as happy as a cheese in a burger

literally drinking a beer by the lake and still opened tumblr. some of us are beyond saving

mid-conversation I toss a pistol onto the table not to suggest or imply anything but just to change the situation a little