so i’m told suicide’s outdated

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

Sam trying to get Frodo to take one more step

Sam psychologically tormenting Gollum

everyone jokes about Gardevoir trainers being horny freaks but I think Gardevoir trainers would actually be posting like irl doll collectors

They’d be posting ”An exquisite day for a most elegant lady” and then a picture of the cutest tea party you have ever seen for a Gardevoir wearing a lovely little hat

the real horny freaks would be posting shit like “go my loyal minions” and then a video of them siccing 6 Galarian zigzagoon on a dumpster

i love those blinking red lights they put on top of radio towers and windmills and skyscrapers etc, theyre like electronic flowers or something to me

#Me when I see realistic plants in video games#BABE THEY DID YARROW COME LOOK#BABE THESE GRAPES ARE CORRECTLY TRELLISED ( @bonzicatgirl )

THIS IS WHY I MAKE REAL PLANTS IN THE GAME. FOR NERDS LIKE ME.

I can listen to somebody talk about their interests like this forever. Please please tell me what realistic plants you found in your game. please tell me about all the propane tanks you saw in your game.

the paul mccartney is dead conspiracy theory is the funniest thing in the world because i feel like if he did die and the beatles did replace him like parents replace a gold fish and the new guy managed to look exactly like him and play left handed bass, piano, and vocals in the same style and produce the same quality of music consistently for 30+ years then it'd be honestly rude to mention it at that point. like he's earned it let him have it

the double is the one that deserves the title of paul mccartney because he actually worked for it. the other guy was just born into it

guys you gotta stop thinking of women in their 30s as elderly it’s just misogyny

you also gotta stop thinking about actual elderly women as lesser human beings. Youth is not a measure of one’s worth.