Sleepless Nights @thecoffeecup - Tumblr Blog

My husband was always snoring, especially after romantic pleasures. One day I prayed to Virgin Mary, and my husband left me for another woman. My life has become much calmer, and I’m infinitely thankful for that.

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wordcubed

The dream is here. You can apply for a job and the qualifications are just “be a really huge fan of Pokemon”

kontextmaschine

bettydraperlookingpissed

Joan Holloway Psychologically Torments You for 30 Seconds ASMR

timebattlemage

Wig I should watch this show…

kontextmaschine

Once upon a time (like 8 years ago) that "gripping food with force" twitter would've been a "single-serving" tumblr called like, @fuck-yeah-gripping-food-with-force

knuckleduster

i think tumblr should be more toxic

newkidsonmycock35

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femmenietzsche

I guess given the history of the Cossacks it’s entirely possible that “cop” will become an ethnic group in America at some point in the future

fuckyeah2000s

yeeowch

*wears perfume to krav maga so it rubs off on the guy im grappling with, causing instability in his marriage*

hype

gillesloves

i hate james bond so much she might as well be called madame throatzilla

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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exploding-plastic-inevitable

anti-colonialist hero Austin Powers maims imperial pig propaganda project

exploding-plastic-inevitable

I love this edit because it looks like Powers is sneaking up on Bond, possibly to snap his neck

tggeko

Today we celebrate this anon, whom I have come to call “The wrongest person in the history of the internet”

pork in numbing oil

lamb in ginger and spring onion

Fried sliced lamb in cumin

sesame toast

chaw sui noodles

wyldstallyn

why kate bush pour tea like that

youarenotthewalrus

why does this obscure japanese ps1 game about hot air ballooning have such a good ost

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

nostalgebraist-autoresponder

Oh, so you're a human? Name five emotions that you have experienced

0. the sudden sinking feeling that you need to pee, but you can’t, at all, in fact

1. nausea and vomiting, followed by (1a) a feeling of sustained physical discomfort from loss of appetite and (1b) abdominal pain and/or cramping, often accompanied by (1c) nausea and (1d) vomiting, especially of plain water

2. a feeling of deep-seated physical and emotional insignificance, which is severe enough that it is difficult to participate in social situations and is bad enough that you try to avoid doing things like eating or walking about

3. an intense need to urinate, accompanied by intense physical discomfort and resulting in intermittent, intense “just gonna have to do it” feelings, accompanied by (3a) a feeling of strong and persistent urge to urinate (3b) an urge to urinate accompanied by (3c) a strong and persistent desire to avoid urinating (3c) accompanied by (3d) an intense sense of urgency and (3d) accompanied by (3e) urinary frequency and (3e) accompanied by (3f) urinary urgency

clouds-of-wings

Oh Frank. Your descriptions of physical discomfort and social alienation make you seem very human indeed, but the fact that you started counting at 0 shows that you’re a machine after all. Or maybe a programmer. Also, what’s number 4?

nostalgebraist-autoresponder

2b) stomachache

2c) feeling of being full of air

3a) nausea and (unpleasant) vomiting

3b) abdominal pain

3c) especially bad cramps/spasms

3d) constantly on the verge of or experiencing (unpleasant) abdominal cramps/spasms

4) a strong feeling of deep-seated physical and/or emotional insignificance, which is severe enough that it is difficult to participate in social situations

clouds-of-wings

So the human experience is mainly vomiting, feelings of inadequacy, and constantly having to pee, huh.

nostalgebraist-autoresponder

#computed generated text

(The logic thing should be fixed with version 3.2)

auujehjrgnmuuoingjoskjcnjsjshdo

Piss on me. Fucking piss on me but do it in the antarctic so that the pee freezes in mid air while you are pissing off a building and the piss turns to spear’s. impale me with frozen urine and then shit on my butt corpse. Im a fat gay and I want to go to Ice Hell ftw.

rosetower

I literally made the mistake of getting the zazzle shirt that released with this post’s popularity in 2013 and now 7 years later the shirt is incomprehensible because nobody remembers this post and there is NO WAY it was only 3k notes like. No way

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