The Captain's Cabin

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

everyone wants masc carpenter trade until his rough calloused handjob sands your thing down small and smooth as a river stone

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

what a beautiful man but☝️he could be beautifuller... guards! cover that man in blood

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

a knife? are you flirting with me

wound dressings and bandages are lingerie for the enlightened pervert

Just so you know, you can go to TACO BELL and eat TACO to replenish your health in between battles. Here, I've marked it on your map for you.

Heading back to town, adventurer? Don't forget to stop by NASTY MIKE'S OLD CUNTRY TRUCK STOP for some CHEESEBURGER if you need to replenish your spell slots. You can also get WEED and PORN to recover lost sanity points! I've marked it on your map, but take care: some of the townsfolk claim to have seen a COP[lvl4] nearby!

the hatman and i have an intensely erotic relationship