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Just a repost since the original post itself is gone and that makes me super sad

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Hey this is Phase and his colors are Sanguine/Cherry/Shadow so clearly I need your most 'it's not a phase mom, this is who i am' type suggestions for genes and here's his dragon ID in case you want to plug it into the scrying workshop instead of trying to look at his colors over and over again 91565591

#flight rising #flight rising dragon

redstonedust

nothing more disappointing than a shower with low water pressure. i don't want to feel like a wet sad beast left out in the rain i want to be power washed.

eroticcannibal

Right purely for my curiosity and also because someone on fb annoyed me by thinking they could dictate my experiences to me

Are eggs dairy? Tag this post with yes or no along with your country.

DO NOT DEBATE THIS IN THE NOTES. I want people's genuine beliefs. I do not want people being swayed. I need good data.

#eggs are absolutely not dairy #dairy is stuff made from milk #pretty sure any kind of milk and not just specifically cows #usa and currently in ky

snowylynxx

already got a blazed marvel post. the adpocalypse is closer than we think so heres your daily PSA

don't interact with corporate tumblr accounts

yes even to dunk on them. i don't care if you have the sickest burn of the century lined up, don't even give them the time of day

the eventual and inevitable fall of twitter marks a change in the advertising industry, and tumblr is unclaimed territory. if we want tumblr to remain the social media bastion it has become, it needs to remain as unappealing to corporations as possible. do not engage. in a marketing strategist's eyes, any kind of attention is good attention. don't "silence, brand" them. don't kungpowpenis them. don't send them hate anons. don't hate-follow them. corporate tumblrs are not a single entity and they will not be harassed off this site. we only have a shot at repelling them because of tumblr's lack of an algorithm. so turn off recommended posts on your dashboard, put it chronological order, and install an adblocker. if you don't seek out these blazed posts and actively ignore them when they happen upon you, the corporations will starve. in this case, the best kind of protest is a silent one

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memewhore

#i love this so much

unpretty

some dudes like to talk a big game about how comedy suffers when people are afraid to offend but man, Mitch Hedberg was a white dude working in the era of peak offensive edgelord and his shit holds the fuck up so while most comedians will never come up with anything as timeless as “if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up” they could at least make an effort

unpretty

siphersaysstuff

Every McDonald’s commercial ends the same way, right? “Prices and participation may vary.” I wanna open a McDonald’s and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald’s owner. I’ll say “Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! We are not affiliated with that clown.”

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read.

I would like to have a product that was available for three easy payments and one fuckin’ complicated payment. We can’t tell you which payment it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch! The mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamp will be in the wrong denomination! Good luck, fucker! That last payment must be made in wampum!

Hey, if you wanna talk to me after the show, I’ll be… fuckin’ surprised.

awa64

This shirt is “dry-clean only”… Which means it’s dirty.

One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is of you when you were younger. “Here’s a picture of me when I’m older.” “You son-of-a-bitch! How’d you pull that off? Lemme see that camera… What’s it look like? ”

An escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. You would never see an “Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order” sign, just “Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

I play golf. I’m not good at golf, I never got good. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell “Fore!” but I was too busying mumbling “There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.”

When you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say “All right you’re a stand up comedian, can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy, but it’s not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a good cook, and they said “All right you’re a cook… can you farm?”

amphitryo-deactivated20190813

- “Rice is great when you’re you’re hungry and you want 10,000 of something”

- “Tennis is depressing because no matter how good you get, you will never be as good as a wall”

- “I order the club sandwich all the time, but I’m not even a member, man. I don’t know how I get away with it”

carrionbeast

I like cinnamon rolls, but I don’t always have time to make a pan. That’s why I wish they would sell cinnamon roll incense. After all I’d rather light a stick and have my roommate wake up with false hopes.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck. An arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime: ‘Look at that dead guy. Let’s go that way.

thebrainslion

-I can’t tell you what hotel I’m staying at but there are *two trees* involved! They said “Let’s call this hotel ‘something-tree’.” So they had a meeting, it was… it was quite short. “How about ‘Tree’?” “No.” “Doubletree.” “Hell yeah!” “Meeting ADJOURNED!” “I had my heart set on ‘Quadruple Tree’… and we were almost there!”

My hotel doesn’t have a thirteenth floor. They’re superstitious. But people on the fourteenth floor, you know what floor you’re really on. “What room are you in?” “1401.” “No you’re NOT!” Jump out the window, you will die EARLIER!!

theequeerstrian

Reblog to fistfight the person you reblogged this from, but like in a vaguely horny way

mew-ya

#i am a simp

sillystoatsnake

Reblog to give your mutuals one of each

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screnwriter-deactivated20220724

“who did this to you” is a marriage proposal

screnwriter-deactivated20220724

especially if it’s your rival, their voice lethally quiet, hands already on their weapon. yeah

homunculus-argument

y'all I just realised

tumblr is a website that wasn't designed to produce any specific kind of content, and in the end it mostly boils down to shitposts that mean absolutely nothing, and american political discorse where all sorts of liberals and communists duke out about which way is the best to oppose the political right

this is a None Website With Left Beef

#i hate how right this is

jinxviolets

girl help i’m having creation ideas above my skill level

tambuli

girl help i'm having creation ideas above my motivation level

awriterpretendingtowrite

girl help I’m having creation ideas above my free time level

asta-lily-deactivated20220630

#i am being #attacked #in the sanctity of my own home

iricressent

furry species ranked by how difficult it'd be to take them anywhere

iricressent

taking my deer boyfriend for a hike in the woods and he hears a twig break and bounds off into the trees never to be seen again

iricressent

ok everyone leave now this is the best tag hands down.

zillyblog

I beg of you, look at the tags

keldabekush

if you own a dog, you’ve tried the dog treats. this seems universal.

#when i was a kid my dad tricked me brothers and me into eating dog treats #they were little jerky sausages #made by Nathan’s #the hotdog company

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

slcpunkmoved

nothing funnier than making an oc just to give him a problem. get fucked sketchbook boy

funnytwittertweets

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