too many cooks (too maaaaany cooks)

if you fall from grace enough times eventually you’ll get really good at sticking the landing

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

Was just diagnosed with “need to bite you” disorder. Yeah sorry it’s terminal. The only cure is biting you. C’mere.

(British guy with well managed but serious problems voice) Well I like making a cup of Earl Grey every morning and evening, reaching my hand into the boiling mug to get the teabag, then touching the cold handle of the fridge to get milk, is probably the most enjoyable sensation I regularly experience, so it’s best to limit it to only twice a day

notice that no one on MTV Cribs has an emergency eyewash station

trans jester who has an inflatable packer he can twist into balloon animals in a pinch