Come back to me, its almost easy.

Anybody want me to shut the fuck up for $500?

what's your "if I won the lottery I wouldn't tell anyone but there would be signs" thing? mine is getting a fully green kitchen

Fyi every single seat in the house and 1/3rd of the senate is up for reelection every 2 years which is why you should vote for every presidential election and also in the midterms

The fact this isn't a painting is a testament to one of the greatest feats of set design and production I've ever seen.

I think this is the first time I've ever been wowed by "this ISN'T a painting"!

Freddie Mercury may very well have had the biggest dick energy of anyone who ever lived

this post is already on tumblr, why repost it?

You must be new here.

I've been here for a decade and my puzzlement over this kind of behavior remains evergreen

I admire the restraint not to point out you literally wrote the post that was screencapped.

Best picture in the world

Transcript: Yesterday my cousin said that my rooster wasn't a real rooster. He said he's a Walmart rooster. *chicken noises* Does this not look like a real rooster to you? *chicken makes a sound again* Sure, he's small, but he has feelings.

important context this person looks and sounds like they’re gonna cry

I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday

celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone

my favorite special edition console in existence is the target gameboy advance 

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