Hand on my heart. Hand on my stupid heart.

i love to be the most laidback customer to ever grace an establishment. comrade i will wait one william years for your goods and services

10k notes pour un post francophone sur tumblr macron où est mon poste de ministre de la culture

it feels so evil that you can't still access your university online library after you graduate *remembers my principles* it feels so evil that everyone can't access that stuff all the time

It's crazy and wildly unfair the types of people who will be out there with no shame over any of their behavior meanwhile I'm stuck being nauseated at myself for every very normal conversation I have with someone

One time I saw a fake headline about the Vatican announcing the virgin Mary's new nemesis, la puta Waría, and ever since that day I've quoted it like anybody else knows what I'm talking about

every $30 purchase is like a razor sharp arrow stuck firmly in my muscular wearwolf back

i've searched every combination of words imaginable and i still can't find that gif of the german star trek parody where gay spock is quickly drinking coffee and smoking freaking out PLEASE send it to me i need it urgently

probably tomorrow i'm gonna somehow be more organized and disciplined than i ever have been in my whole life so i'm fine probably

no cuz literally the answer to everything is having love in your heart and being yourself forever and dan and phil taught me that