FOREVER HANGRY

@vaspider

Trolling my biologist D&D player by sending the party on a quest to prevent the destruction of a mystical seal, and when they finally get there it quickly becomes clear that I'm actually describing a walrus.

you can't say "hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby" on a poll with a 60/40 split. that's hydrogen bomb vs regular bomb

Pipe bomb versus somewhat smaller pipe bomb.

Hydrogen baby va coughing bomb

Two bombs, both alike in dignity, in fair tumblr, where we lay our scene

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

Didn’t anticipate one of the bonuses of going to a drag show in a smaller more conservative town would be getting to see a bro who clearly wandered into the wrong part of the bar by mistake experience what looked to be a transcendent awakening upon seeing his first drag show.

We love the character development

Answering "I don't know" is a level of self awareness a lot of people never attain

funniest convo ever with a guy who said 2 me "nobody uses journalism degrees" and i said "my mom has a bachelors in journalism" and he smiled like knowingly and said "yeah, but what does she do?" and i said "she runs a newspaper and publishes romance novels on the side." and he literally said "oh" and nothing else. like he ended the whole conversation there.

i've just been informed he has a trombone degree. like the study of playing trombone. which is all well and good, i genuinely think we should all have the opportunity to chase our academic bliss but i do think the trombone studies guy should hesitate to judge the economic value of other people's degrees no

i love the tags on this post because there’s other music/instrument majors implying niche field-specific drama like “of course it was a trombone player 😒” and then there’s trombone majors like “this was NOT me for the record”

If you're younger than 50 years there are termite queens who are older than you

happy pride to them

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

posts funnier with timestamps on

People need to be told this more often. Especially the wankers who keep supporting the billionaires. They're not going to give it to you.

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.