Ashes to Ashes

pretty much every vegetable you hated as a little kid would taste better if you roasted it with salt and olive oil instead of boiling it

The truth shall set you free

shit who the fuck was trying to poison their kids so much that we evolved into a species that kids need a mechanism against poison?????

Richard III

omg omg omg 

Oh I love it.

JUST SLAY

elementary school was like “hell yeah”. middle school was like “hell no”. and high school. high school is just “hell”

college is just “what the hell”

and as far as i can tell life after college is just “to hell with it”

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin

you will never know which of these two statements reign true for people who reblogs this and that bothers me

being genderfluid and pansexual means that no matter who i date, it is both a gay and a straight relationship. schrodinger’s gay.

This is a beautiful thing.

KANDA YUU, GRUMPIEST NERD IN ALL OF DGM, GETS FOLLOWED AROUND BY SMALL ANIMALS AND BIRDS WHENEVER HE ENTERS A FOREST. NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN THIS PHENOMENON. ALLEN DOES NOT UNDERSTAND IT, LENALEE THINKS IT’S ADORABLE, AND LAVI THINKS IT’S THE FUNNIEST THING HE’S SEEN ALL AFTERNOON.

you ever been so stressed that you're calm

this is my constant state

my chill is fake

“How are you so calm?!” “I’ve passed beyond stressed, beyond hysteria, into the grey misty indifference of complete shutdown of all but emergency services in my brain.”

bolded for emphasis. 

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

I’ve made a terrible mistake

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO MUCH ?

LOOK AT IT CRAWLING

that last one is my during school