When the train arrives, Amanda is more than a tad confused.
There are abandoned train tracks across the townâthe only ones for miles aroundâbut this trainâ
This train is massive. It reminds her of the Polar Express story her mother used to read for Christmas. Amanda stands at the front, and when she looks down, she canât see the end. The dark color blends in with the night air. Even the softly glowing lights emitting from behind closed blinds donât help her. But even when she squintsânothing. Itâs like it goes on forever, stretching across the worldâthe universe. Never ending.
The train looks fancier than anything in her townâmore luxurious than anything her little family could afford.
But itâs here. Right in front of her.
She was just returning from her midnight walk to clear her head. Insomnia is like that sometimes, but now Amanda fears she hasnât been getting nearly enough sleep. Or maybe itâs her new medicationâwere hallucinations a side-effect?
She canât dwell on the topic long, because a door slides open, and a tall, thin man leans out. He looks unreal, with handsome features that mismatch with his gangly frame. He wears a five oâclock shadow and his hair sticks up like heâs been running his fingers through it.
He takes one look at Amanda and tsks. âWhat are you waiting for, my dear? We still have one more stop to go in this town.â He steps down and reaches his hand out. âWell, come on. You can fill out the information sheet on the train.â
Amanda feels frozen in place. She can hear her father berating her already, warning her of stranger danger. Sheâs never faced this problem before, coming from a town where everybody knows everybody.
âWhat?â Oh, yes, so eloquent. She should just run. Yeah, that sounds about right.
She twists on her heels, but the conductor grabs her arm. It isnât roughâin fact, itâs more like a soft touch.
âWe can take you anywhere, you know. Just hop on.â
Anywhere? That sounds tempting. And if this is a hallucination, Amanda might as well go through with it, right? No fun in running from something fake.
âOkay,â she says, and then she steps inside.
The lights, the cushions, the gentle murmurs that fill each train. Everything is so softâso comfortable. It makes Amandaâs eyes droopy.
âRemember to fill out the information sheet,â the conductor tells her, and then he disappears. Immediately after that, the train begins chugging forward.
There is a nearby seat, separated from the others a comfortable distance. Amanda sits. Suddenly, a boy swoops in, his dark skin reflective in the lights. His smiles is the brightest thing in the train cart. âHere is the information sheet, and several writing utensils. Pick one of your choice. The, uh, writing utensil, that is. The information sheet is mandatory.â He looks sheepish, but his smile is still nearly blinding.
âUh, okay,â Amanda says, and then the boy disappears.
There are several questions on the paper, but most are crossed out. Only one remains.
What is your choice of destination? Remember, anywhere is allowed!
Amanda holds a pen along the provided line. The Bahamas? New York? Paris or London? She can barely even think of everywhere she wanted to visit while sitting alone in her room.
NoâAmanda can only think of one place she wants to be.
The pen shakes as she writes, but then sheâs done. The boy swoops back in, smile wide, and glances at her paper. His face wavers for just a second, but then he grabs the paper. âOne second please, while I get the manager.â
âUmââbut heâs gone. Amanda lowers her hand to her lap, embarrassed. Her fingers curl together. They said anywhere, but she still doesnât want to cause a fuss.
But thisâthis is the only place she wants to be, even for just a second.
Amanda feels like she waits forever, but soon enough an elderly woman hobbles her way to the seat across from Amanda. Gingerly, she sits and reaches out a wrinkled hand. âMs. Tutti, if you will.â
âAmanda. Amanda OâRiley. Nice to meet you.â She takes her hand back. âAnd youâre the, uh, managerâof what, exactly?â
Ms. Tutti chuckles, coughs. âAh, ah, donât worry. Yes, I manage where we go, of course! And you, my dear, are already a special case. But now you wish for thisâto travel back in time?â
Amanda nods. âYes, maâam.â
âThen you must understand the rules, Miss OâRiley. Are you all right at following rules?â
âYes, maâam.â Amanda sits up straighter and begins twiddling her thumbs. Her father did always say she has a terrible fidgeting habit.
âBah, enough with that maâam junk. Makes me feel old.â Ms. Tutti shifts in her seat as the train slows down again. The conductor did say there is another stop in town. âNow, for the rules. Number one? You cannot affect the future. At least not too majorly. No saving a person, and most certainly no killing anyone. Two: You cannot stay for long. Remaining back in time too long often results in breaking rule number one. Three: Sharing is not caring in this instance. Do not tell anyone you have traveled back in time. It leads to all sorts of messes I have to go back and clean up.â She clears her throat. âGot that? Yes? Okay. Well, then Iâm done here.â
Ms. Tutti shuffles out of her seat, but before she can make it too long, she stops and turns around. âOh, and because youâre such a special case, Amanda, you are going to have to wait a long while before you can make it to your stop.â
Amanda leans out of her seat. âYes, mâ I mean, okay. I can do that.â
Ms. Tutti nods and continues on her way.
The train crawls to a stop. It isnât jolting, like Amanda thought it would be, but it is sudden. She knew there was another stop, but she forgot how small her town is compared to the train. The power is to move the train must have been immense. She wondered what they used.
The conductorâs voice travels through the door. âCome along now, madam. The train for anywhere and everywhere is about to take off. Mr. Allan will show you the way. Yes, yes, Mr. Allan, show her right through that doorâ Yes, maâam, you heard me rightâanywhere you desire.â
The door in front of Amanda slides open, and the young boy followed by a frail, sickly woman walk through.
âMrs. Walker?â Amanda asks. âIs that really you?â
âWhy, Amanda!â Mrs. Walker hurries forward. âYou just visited me in the hospital yesterday. What are earth are you doing here?â
âAh,â Mr. Allan interrupts. âSheâs a special case, madam. Now, if you will, your seat is down here. You may continue your conversation after you fill out your information sheet.â He gestures Mrs. Walker forward. âCome come, now.â
While Mr. Allan walks Mrs. Walker away, the face on Amandaâs must have been confused enough to make other people worried about her. A middle-aged man leaves his seat and plops down in front of her.
âYou really have no idea whatâs going on, huh?â He twirls his overgrown goatee around his thick fingers.
âNo, not really. And Mr. Allan seems⌠busy.â Amanda hesitates. This not-hallucination is starting to seem all too real. But AmandaâAmanda doesnât feel worried. Even though she has no idea what is going on, the whole atmosphereâit feels soothing without being smothering. She may be antsy, but thatâs because she is meeting so many new people all in one day. Where sheâs from, sheâs known practically everyone since birth. No new people to meetâever.
âCould you explain for me?â
The man leans back in his seat, stretches; he looks completely relaxed, while she feels like she must act overly formal in her ratty sweats and T-shirt she wears to sleep.
âWhy, sure.â He waves his hand around. âMost of these people here are deadâmaybe even all of them.â
Amanda blinks. Her heart stutters, mouth dries. âAre youâare you saying Iâm⌠Iâm what?â
A panicked look crosses the manâs face. âNo, uhâgosh.â He rubs his face. âHow do I explain this? Now, donât feel offended, but I kinda⌠kinda listened in on her conversation earlier. And Iâve been on here a long time. Special case can mean anythingâanything but already dead. You could have gotten lucky and your wish upon a shooting star is coming true.â
Amanda did make many wishes on shooting starsâwell, one wish every chance she got.
âLook, this trainââhe waves around againââthis train is the way to heaven, but everyone gets to go somewhere beforehand.â
How strange, Amanda thought. It isnât a stairway to heaven. Itâs a train.
âThat totally makes sense,â she says, straight faced.
âReally? âCause I thought the lady that told me was loony at first. I was like, âNo way, Iâm not dead.â But, yâknow? I got over it. Not that you have anything to get over, butââ
âNo, itâs fine.â She smiles, but it feels fragile. Mrs. Walker had been very sick, stuck for days on end in their tiny hospital. Her partner was just getting ready to transfer her to a better one. Amanda had only visited her the once. Now sheâs dead. Amanda wonders where sheâs going. She had always talked about visiting her familyâs old home in Germany.
Amanda looks up at the man in front of her. Heâs rubbing sweat from his palms on his faded jeans. âI guess this is like a last wish type of situation.â
He perks up, points at her. âYeah, kinda like that exactly!â Then he peers around her. âAh, gotta go. My stop is coming up. But if you have any questions, pretty much anyone here can answer them!â He stands up, giddy. âOff to Tokyo! I didnât practice all that Japanese for nothing after all!â
Amanda closes her eyes, remembers how he said heâd been on the train for ages. She thinks about her destination. When she finally blinks them open, the man is gone.
Amanda is tired. It is the middle of the night.
Amanda wakes up occasionallyâeats, drinks, drifts off again. During that time, more people get off, even more get on.
Sheâs been gone from home for days, she knows. She wonders how worried her father is. She wonders if time even works the same way on this weird, magical train.
She thinks thatâs part of the reason why sheâs been sleeping so much. She asks around when sheâs conscious, but no one else suffers from headaches or migraines.
âWeâre all dead,â they say. âWhatâs left to hurt.â
It at least assures Amanda she isnât dead. Maybe she just needs to get out of the trainâbe outside again.
The once frequent chatter is long gone, and only Amanda remains. The train stops. The door slides open.
âAre you ready?â the conductor asks. Amandaâs head pounds, but she nods. Sheâs wants this more than anything.
Mr. Allan shows up, his smile soft. His teeth arenât showing. Even Ms. Tutti is there to send her off.
She says, âIâm ready,â and steps outside.
Young, fresh, unhurt and unscarred.
And there stands her motherâfrustrated with little Amandaâs temper tantrum, with her refusal to give her mother a goodbye hug.
Amanda wants that hug more than anything. Itâs the last thing her mama asked of her before she died.
She only wants to be held in her motherâs arms.
âMom!â she cries, and runs, runs, runs as fast as she can toward her mama.
Mama looks confused, but she kneels down anyway.
Amanda crashes into her, squeezes hard. She thinks long and hard about that number one rule, and if breaking it is worth it. It sure seems like it.
But in her motherâs arms, one last timeâAmanda can let go. She can release her pent up guilt, her anger. Amanda relaxes in her mamaâs soft, comforting arms. Even her headache dissipates.
âI love you,â she whispers.
âAnd I love you too, sweetheart,â Mama says.
They hug one, two, three short seconds longer. The train wails. Mama canât hear it, but Amanda can.
âHave fun on your trip, Mama,â Amanda saysâbut she knows. She knows Mama never makes it.
Mama pets her hair. âIâll be waiting to see you again.â She kisses Amandaâs forehead, and then sheâs opening the car door.
Amanda runs back to the train. Before she reenters, she turns around and waves at Mama. Mama waves back, blows a kiss.
Amanda catches it and holds it close to her heart.
âIâm sorry,â Ms. Tutti says. âYou were in a coma. And nowâŚâ
âIâm not.â Amanda had felt this coming. âIâm dead.â
âYes. Again, Iâm very sorry. But now you only have one more stop.â Ms. Tuttiâs watery smile makes Amanda cry. Her father must be so devastated.
Amanda will wait for him up in heaven.
The train comes to a stop.
Itâs strange, as stops are mostly made in the dead of night. Here, it is bright outside. The ground looks soft, likes clouds.
And itâs loud. Heaven is bustling.
âGoodbye, everyone,â she says, waving.
âFarewell,â the conductor says.
Mr. Allan and Ms. Tutti wave.
Amanda exits the train one last time.
The brightness almost hurts her eyes.
She has no idea where sheâs going, can barely see anything. So she just walksâany direction, whatever feels right.
But then there is a hand on her arm, and sheâs pulled into a hug.
âIâve missed you so much, sweetheart.â
âI have too,â Amanda says.
The hug lasts one, two, three more seconds.
(But itâs okay when the hug endsâbecause now Amanda can get one whenever she feels like it.)