Perpetual Confusion

maid: why would that be, your highness. i hold the upmost respect for those i am ordained to serve

princess: dunno. just a vibe i guess. sometimes i feel like you see me as lesser

maid: [setting out her clothes for her] i have absolutely no idea why that would be.

princess: well like.. you always have this look in your eye...

maid: it's morning. pills, now princess.

princess: yes ma'am. anyways i dunmo like sometimes it feels like you don't view me as the one in control...?

maid: i have no idea why in the world you would think that? i am here purely to serve at your pleasure, your highness. alright princess, come with me, it's bathroom and teethbrushing time.

princess: aw can i have the bubblegum toothpaste today?

maid: bubblegum is only for good girls who floss, your highness.

princess: hmph. i hate flossing.

maid: then i suppose we will have to use mint toothpaste for today, my princess...

princess: N.. NNO... i'll floss.. sorry ma'am...

maid: that's right. you're such a well behaved girl. see, i'm not sure what you mean. i'd say our dynamic is perfectly befitting of a maid and her princess

princess: r.. really..? well okay.. can you shower with me today..? i get scared

maid: language.

princess: sorry ma'am. but um yeah like the other princesses say i'm a joke and the way you treat me would be totally humiliating and embarassing for them

maid: do the other princesses have their maids dress them? help them brush their teeth? educate them on all the proper ways to be a good girl

princess: no, but-

maid: well then if anything, it sounds as if those princesses have very bad maids. perhaps you should wear that as a point of pride, your highness. a good princess has only the best maid

princess: yyeah but.. um.. do you really think i'm a good princess..?

maid: my lady.. look towards me please.. aww.. do not frown so much princess, of course i do. you're a very special wonderful princess to me, alright? now can you smile for me? say "i'm a special princess", your highness

princess: [smiling] i'm a special princess...

maid: that's right! and that's why i do my best to treat you like one, my lady

princess: b-but i can't do all the stuff the other princesses do.. i've never been able to wear the nice dresses or give the speeches or talk like a princess or that kinda sh- that stuff...

maid: and so? even if that's true, what does it matter, your highness? you are a special wonderful princess just by being who you are. it's not something you have to act.. it's something inside you that makes you my wonderful little girl

princess: [rosy-cheeked] a-awwwh.. wwait your what?

maid: [looking ahead] my wonderful princess, your highness. what do you think i said?

princess: hhehehe... i'm yours...? but.. you're my maid.. you're mine...

maid: [smiling down at her very wide] perhaps, then, we can be each other's :)

princess: wwhhehehheheh.. yes ma'am... i like you mom- maid.. you're very nice to me...

maid: i love you too, my dear. [kissing her forehead] allow me to tuck you in, i wouldn't want you to have nightmares.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

if you want a good RECENT (as of the end of February 2022) overview of what is going on behind the scenes at tumblr, it is basically what i’ve been saying for years: the core staff is tiny, constantly not being listened to when they advocate for us, the community, and working there is a nightmare: