It’s Never Too Late To Be What You Might Have Been

Ice sprays up against the protective barrier and you’re able to slink down just a few extra inches before he notices that you’ve shifted. Keeping your eyes closed because you’re not in the mood to talk to one of the players. You are supposed to be observing, but this is just so boring! Maybe if you actually had friends that gave a damn for you and not your dad’s wealth you wouldn’t be here.

“What’s that?” The fool says, pointing his finger towards you. Don’t move, and don’t engage in the tomfoolery.

“That is this thing we call a woman,” Pigs. The second voice chuckles, while random bits of what you’re assuming are the sticks clapping together sound in front of you. They are gathering to gawk at you. Please just leave you to rot in peace.

“Back to practice,” yes, listen to that voice. Follow along like the good little soldiers you are.

“I thought this was a closed practice,” shit. Other voices join in, agreeing with the man. Have they ever seen a woman before? Legitimately seen a woman in the flesh that wasn’t pawning all over them.

“And she doesn’t look like someone who is stealing plays.”

“Still a closed practice, Lev.” “Yeah!” “Ask her who she is!” “Get her out of here!”

Fuck them. You were told to be here. “That won’t be necessary,” that took your father long enough. You don’t have to have your eyes open to know that he is looking at you, knowing you’re not actually asleep. All the players hoop and holler at your father. Trying to act all cool now that their team owner is on the ice.

“Sleeping beauty over there is my daughter,” oohs sound in front of you, and you know your lip is curled in annoyance. Embarrassing. “She’s going to be watching you, while I’m away.”

“Daddy D we don’t need a babysitter,” jeering. No, they need a kick in the groin. They act like dogs chasing a bitch in heat.

“Yeah, you do, Jensen,” they’re children. And your father wants you to just watch and observe. “Obviously the coach will keep you boys in line,” men. They’re men. “But I also expect you to listen to Ari and my daughter.”

“Your daughter have a name?”

“You can call her boss,” you didn’t mind that. He’s looking at you again, so you let a smile lift your mouth. “Best behavior. And boys,” men. “Keep your hands off,” oh good grief. He knows you don’t go chasing a puck for pleasure. “I mean it,” he hits someone’s shoulder, and there’s a soft pause, “Lev, watch her.”

Oh, no. You don’t need a babysitter. His back is to you, and he’s already walking out of the rink when you bust your eyes open, and stare right back at this Ari. Of all the fucking people to say that to, it had to be the one that you even somewhat thought was attractive. Your little brother had a poster on his wall of the giant that is Ari, The Punisher, Levinson.

Fucking hell. Ari skates the little bit of a distance to the barrier, and bangs his hands up against the fiberglass. “Seems like you’ve been trusted in my care, Boss.”

“Get back to practice,” is all you say before reaching in your bag, and pulling out a book. You don’t know if this is the right intimidation tactic you can think of, but Ari’s eyes flick down to the title. His mouth turns up into a devilish smirk before you look over the pages glaring, “Is there a problem, Levinson?”

“Didn’t realize that you were such a horror fan,” horror? You look at the cover of the book, and he chuckles. What were you thinking choosing The Score as a way to intimidate them? It has a cute cover, and a hockey romance. And was far from horror. “Made ya look, Boss. Alright, boys,” men. “Get back on the ice. And hands off. See you afterwards, Bunny.”

“I’m not a damn, puck bunny!”

He smiles skating backwards. His eye contact is both concerning and hot. You shouldn’t look at him either. Players are forbidden, and nothing but trouble. Especially that one. The player. The team captain. The one with the best ass on the team.

——

“She got nothing better to do?” You’d come to know the players better. That one is always talking like you can’t hear a damn thing. No, you don’t have to be here, but where else is there to go? What could be more important than keeping your father’s dream and legacy as a well oiled machine?

“It’s a bit weird that she’s at every practice, and she’s rarely watching,” a few of the players grunt in agreement. It’s your cue to fake sleeping. Again. “Her head is in one of those books, or she’s doing that. Who comes to practice to sleep?”

“Does it bother you that much, Jensen?”

“Well, no,” he sheepishly responds, backing away from Ari. “It’s weird, and unsettling.”

“She’s got a job.”

“Even the big man doesn’t show up as much as she does,” you didn’t have to listen to this. You had other things to do besides be here. You could — well you could just easily — there is always spending daddy’s money. But that’s not you.

You could always sit at a coffee shop alone, but you weren’t fond of coffee shop coffee. You could easily go watch a movie by yourself. Peeking through your lashes you glare up at Ari who is standing mask to mask with Jake Jensen.

Placing the bookmark in your book, you just get up, and walk up the stairs. You weren’t going to be the reason that the Neanderthals were fighting. There really isn’t anywhere else for you to go, but you’ll find some place.

“See you what you did,” Ari shoves Jake’s arm, while the younger man looks up at you. “From now on, don’t worry about it, okay? She’s a nobody, and she’s not here watching you scabs, got it?” Ari looks back to Jake, and the other man nods a head before Ari looks up at your retreating form.

—

Ari pushes your legs off a control panel, causing you to jump up, and get into a defense pose. Your confused look turns into anger very quickly, and you glare at him. “That’s an expensive piece of equipment. Keep your feet off it. Or do you think you can do that because Daddy can pay for it?”

“Fuck off.”

Ari taps on the panel for a few seconds. His vision goes from you to the ice, and then back again, “Why didn’t you just leave?”

“And miss an opportunity to fall asleep to the best lullaby in the world?”

“You’re not sleeping in the stands,” no, you weren’t. You’re trying to remain as invisible as possible. “You could have called some of your friends, and went to the mall or something.”

“I’m not seventeen,” of course he would think all you’re capable of doing is shopping. It’s what everyone thought. You were to be seen and spoiled, not heard.

“Then you could have gone to a bookstore. What are you reading today?” You lift up the book, and Ari tilts his head to read the title. “What’s it about?”

“An Irish Rugby player.”

“So no more hockey players?”

You shake your head no, and reach to put your book in the bag, “I like to escape when I read.”

“What else is in the book?” You furrow your eyebrows, unsure of what he’s meaning. “I mean is there — my sister reads a lot, too. The most popular books have, um…”

“Sex?”

“Yep. That — that’s what’s in there,” his cheeks flush the cutest pink color. Talking about smut in books clearly is out of his comfort zone. And you’re not entirely sure why he wants to talk to you about books at all.

“Why are you concerned if I’m reading a smutty book?” Ari shrugs his shoulders, trying to remember the title of the book. He didn’t want to read it, he just wanted to know what it was about. “Why are you concerned about why I’m up here?”

“Practice is over. Figured you needed to wake up,” he’s very strange and different when he’s not being the captain. “Why do you come to practice?”

“You told Jensen yourself, I have a job.”

“Yeah, but your job doesn’t really entail being here every practice. If I didn’t know any better I would think that you’re checking us out,” you roll your eyes, starting to stand. You can go home and sleep. At least there’s no one there to bother you. “Especially me.”

“You’re very full of yourself, Levinson,” you say as you stand up. You almost thought he was going to be different. But they’re all the same. They think they know everything about you. About how easy life must be because you grew up rich. It was isolating.

“Or is it because you have no friends, and nowhere else to go, so at least you’re not alone when you’re here.”

“Goodnight, Ari,” he didn’t know anything about you or about your life.

“Someone that seeks out human interaction so much, and yet she’s a bit rough around the edges. People using you for your family’s money made you jaded, but not everyone is out for that. Not everyone cares about what you can buy,” he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s just saying a bunch of words. But words shouldn’t strike you so hard.

“You keep talking about things you don’t know or understand,” you keep walking, but he stays behind you.

“I know because I’m just like you. It’s why I make a good captain.”

“Goodnight!” Ari jogs up in front of you, stopping, and making you halt your exit. “What?”

“I can’t lock up myself, so I have to leave first.”

“Then go.”

“What are you doing this evening?”

“What?” That came from nowhere, and you’re intrigued.

“What are you doing this evening? Where are you going? Do you have plans?” Ari knows he should let you go. He was told to stay away. But you seem distressed, and he’s bored. Nothing has to happen, just dinner and some wine. “I’m asking because I’m actually a really good cook. I’ve got a great wine selection,and you’ll be doing me a favor.”

Plus, if you like him, your dad can’t kill him. “We can carry on with our bantering if you like. But I really don’t want to eat alone, so can you join me?”

“You don’t have some puck bunny you want to have dinner with?”

“No, but you sure like to judge and insinuate I’m just like every other hockey player. We come in all different shapes and sizes, and I don’t much care for a woman chasing my money and fame. I’m going out on a limb to say you’re not going to do that, and this is just dinner.”

You aren’t. You didn’t need to. You had enough wealth from your father, “What are you cooking?”

“Fish? Chicken? Steak? Grilled cheese? Pizza? I’ve got this great pizza stone. My mom and dad are both in the restaurant business. Mom’s a manager, and dad’s a chef. I can make anything. Depending on what you say, I may have to drive to a store. But…don’t make eat alone.”

“You have to keep your hands off me,” Ari smirks. His eyes trail over your body in a not too unpleasant way. You kind of like it. You wish he would look again.

“Of course. I made a promise to your dad.”

“And this doesn’t change my watching practices.”

“I wouldn’t ever think it would. Kinda like you watching me,” he’s not wrong, but he’s so full of himself.

“Stop flirting,” Ari smiles, and you point down the hallway for him to go first. If you have to lock up the stadium, he must lead the way. He’s the forbidden fruit. Don’t fall for a hockey player. They’re nothing but trouble.

——

Ari looks up at you from the ice, and then back to his team. He tries to hide the grin that perks his mouth up, but a few catch it. Even the nosy Jensen rests his chin on his hockey stick smiling like an idiot at his captain. “That’s going to be all for today. Rest, drink your water, work out your muscles, and be ready.”

“Exactly how do you work out your muscles, Lev?” Jake’s eyes drift towards you before returning to Ari with a shit eating grin.

“Shut up, Jensen.”

“So that means that you and…”

“Jensen!” Another team member cuts in. “Shut up.”

“But we were told to stay away,” everyone groans, starting to walk off the ice. Each one knocking against his shoulder, and grumbling as they walk past. “Yeah, yeah. I get it. So Lev…”

“Shower quickly, Jensen,” Ari says, looking towards you. His mouth gets wider with a devilish grin. Jake starts to say something else, but Ari pushes him playfully again without looking away from you. Grunting something inaudible.

“I wish people would stop doing that.”

“Then shut up, and shower quickly. You bastards have five minutes.”

“Why five?”

“Because I have a meeting with someone,” Ari’s grin goes wider. Jake starts to say something, but Ari covers Jake’s mouth with his giant hand, and finally breaks eye contact with you, “Four minutes.”

“The boss said you had to leave that one alone,” he gives a hard finger point towards you. “You are a very bad boy. Misbehaving. Time out. Walk away, and nothing will happen.”

“And when you kindly fuck off, I’ll be an even badder boy,” Jake dramatically gasps, grabbing at his chest. “Three minutes, you cheeky bastard. Please, Jensen, I’m aching here.”

“I’m only leaving because I don’t want to hear about your blue balls. And you,” his face looks up at you, “You could have had this, and you chose that caveman! Don’t come crawling back to me! You could have had it all!” His hands slide over his chest, trying to make you swoon, you suppose.

“Jensen!”

“I am going!” His voice is nearly a whine as he marches away. “You get none of it!” He throws a hand up, emphasizing his point. Goober. He is loveable, but a goober nonetheless.

You start making your way down the bleachers, and lean over the edge, “What? You think I was going to follow you into the locker room, and you can have your way with me?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I don’t know the idea of you sucking my dick while I wash off sounds amazing,” you shake your head no, “You really don’t like sucking dick, huh?”

“Sweaty dick, absolutely not. While also being drowned by the water doesn’t sound like a fun time. But,” you step out onto the ice, and Ari’s eager eyes look up and down your body. “I could let you fuck me on the ice,” he shakes his head no. “In the stands?” Still he shakes his head no.

“Or,” you let your finger run over his chest, teasing him while also making your need for him stronger. Heat floods your body with anticipation of having Ari. Again. “I could let you take me in the locker room. That way when the big game happens this weekend, you get to stare at the place where you saw yourself leak out of me for the first time. It’ll be good luck.”

“I like that option. It’s the game that your father returns,” Ari knew you had a penchant for wanting daddy’s attention. He might have used it to his advantage. Who could blame him when you looked like that.

“I’ll give you two minutes to get cleaned, Levinson. Time starts now,” he smirks as he skates away from you, and you exhale a long breath. There would be no keeping the relationship secret when the entire team knows you are willing to drop to your knees for Ari.

You head towards the locker room, watching as players start heading out one after the other. It would be Jake that is last. You give him a cheesy grin, but he stops you. “I know what you’re doing,” no, he didn’t. “Lev can handle himself, and obviously you can, too. But — you’ve involved the rest of us in your affair.”

You nod your head, and take a step towards the locker room. “He’s more sensitive than you realize,” liar. “This place is his sanctuary. Just agreeing to fuck you here — it’s not just sex, you see?”

“What?” Of course it was just sex. It was amazing and fun sex. But there is absolutely nothing more than sex here.

“He’s had a thing for you for a while,” Jake shrugs as he starts to walk away. Ari didn’t even know you. “It was just a crush, but he did some instagram stalking. And he saw something in you. It’s not just sex, okay?”

“Okay,” you timidly answer. Jake’s face grimaces, but you don’t know what else to say. He’s not supposed to be the serious one here.

“Don’t act weird when your dad comes back. That’s all I’m asking. Keep doing what you’re doing. That’s all. He’s a good man. A giant big man that is super soft underneath his ultra thick exterior,” your mouth turns into an ‘oh’ as you finally understand. You nod your head. You could tell right away that Ari isn’t all that he portrays. You didn’t want to stop doing what you’re doing. Just didn’t want it so open. Too late now.

“Protect him, because he’ll protect you,” he says before finally walking away.

You gather up some courage to walk into the locker room, and spot Ari sitting down. Leaning over with his forearms resting on his thighs, looking like the most delectable meal you’d ever seen, and wrapped in only a towel. You turn around to lock the door, and remain with your back to him as you kick off your shoes, and shimmy out of your leggings.

Giving him the view of seeing the the cheeks of your ass. He sucks in a hard breath at the show you’re putting on display. His body is begging him to just have his way with you, but his head is wanting you to lead today. He’s tired physically. He needs you to.

Making your way over to Ari, you wait for him to sit up. Ari’s beefy hand grips his cock, and you crawl into his lap. Hissing as his thick girth pierces your body. And you don’t stop your descent until he’s fully sheathed. You take a few deep breaths, letting your body adjust to his size. You’ll never tired of this feeling.

“You look beautiful trying not to wince.”

“That does not sound like I look beautiful.”

”When you’re trying not to wince because I’m almost too big for this pretty little pussy, yeah, it’s beautiful,” you lift your body up slightly, but Ari pulls you back down. “Stay with me for a while.”

“You’ve got me,” you reassure him. Two more days until the big game, and Ari’s strong front is faltering. Leaning forward, you wrap your arms around the big man, and pet over his bare back. Moving to sit up, only to remove your top, and give him the satisfaction of skin on skin. Holding him again.

Big giant man, but loves soft sweet touches.

He never lets anyone see this side of him. Worried that he won’t be the captain that he needs to be. Worried he’ll let his team down. Arrogant to a fault, until he’s seated inside you, and then he is the softest man you’ve ever met. You like the two sides of him. And love that he fells comfortable enough to give you this side of him. That this part is only reserved for you.

You paint his freckled shoulders with your lips. Relaxing and easing him into a vulnerable state before rolling your hips. Taking him balls deep. He moans in satisfaction. The most beautiful sound that you could think of happens when his tip kisses your cervix. A pleasured pain of him bottoming out.

Your upper body worships him so softly, but your lower body is taking him for all he’s worth. He bucks up, his hips meeting your own in a sinful dance. No words are exchanged as you give freely, and he takes greedily. Allowing you enough control, while also spearing up into you with so much need and ferocity that you go brainless.

Ari.

That is the only thing in your head. The only thing that truly matters. In this moment.

The two of you work because you each get what you need from the other. A safe place to land when you need it. No judgement when you let your vulnerable sides out. And still such a need for the other's body. The need to be all in. And you mean all. A few short weeks, and you want more. You crave more.

Truth be told, it was never just sex even for you. It’s comfort. And this big burly man is the most comfortable man.

His hands grip to the bench, and he stabs into your body so fiercely that you lean up off his shoulders. “You’ll be at the game, right?” You give him a head nod in response, and grip to his shoulders. Using his body as reigns as you hold on for the ride of your life. Planting your feet firmly before you fuck him. If he wants it hard, he’ll get it.

Raising up of him, and slamming yourself down over him again and again. Each time with more force and ferocity. Each time letting him go deeper. Letting him take more of you because you don’t care anymore. You know that he could take all of you, and he would protect it.

“Do I get a kiss after the game?”

“Make it official?” You whimper. Your body starts to seize and it’s not just because of the impending orgasm. It’s the fact that he is ready for the world to know. Ready for you to admit what you already knew. You are a goner.

“Yes,” he pants. Grabbing onto your hips, and using them to center himself. His body tightens up, and he tries to fight off the inevitable. Whether it’s his release, or your refusal to give him what he wants. You. No hiding. Official.

“So…we’re…”

“I’d like to think that we are,” he soothes. His mouth attaches to your neck, and he kisses your most tender area. Nipping and suckling onto body like it gives him life. Pleasure builds up in your core, and you don’t know if you can hold on much longer. Or deny anything anymore.

“Say it,” if he wants you, let him tell you. If he wants to be public, he better be honest with you first.

“Be mine. Only mine. And I’m only yours.”

“Wrong answer,” you grit your teeth. Getting pissed off at him not wanting to make that final fall.

“Being my girlfriend sounds childish,” you cock up one of your eyebrows. That is definitely the wrong answer. You can’t fight off your pleasure anymore. There’s too much pressure, and you careen off course. Letting your body soak up the euphoria that only he’s been able to give you. But you can’t stop. You want him to feel the same way you do.

Punishing yourself with pleasure you bounce on top of him. Mewling out his name, and wanting to curse him for his stubbornness. Asshole. If he wants you. He can do it the right way. He can say it. Scream it. You didn’t care. Just admit it.

“Oh god,” he screams, and clenches onto the bench harder. “You’re so fucking amazing,” his voice is so hard as he fights off his own pleasure. “So fucking perfect,” he repeats, and allows himself the release that you are aching for.

Moaning as ropes of his warm cum paint the inside of your body. The feeling of him so deep inside of you makes you come again. Your walls clench down around him. Holding him in place as you pulse around him. You black out from pleasure. Eyes lulling in the back of your head, speaking in tongue and you look up at the ceiling. It’s just too much. He’s too much. Nothing can ever feel like that.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he whispers into your ear as you come down from the best high in life. “I want the world to know who you belong to, and who I belong to,” his nose pets along your jaw. “Please?”

“Yes,” you whisper. You collapse onto his giant body. Arms going limp as they wrap around him. “I always feel my best when I’m with you.”

Masterlist

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She is happy. It’s more than you could have hoped for considering everything that has happened in a short amount of time. She is happy, and both her and Suede love having Rosie. Your eyes start to water up as you watch all three of them running around in the front yard. Joyful screams and giggles light up your front yard. This is the dream, and Andy will be home soon.

Andy.

Your Andy.

The man that made you believe that there are so many beautiful moments within the dysfunction. Yours and Andy’s life is far from perfect. But perfect moments like this make it worth it. The only thing that would have made this better would be Andy sitting behind you on the steps.

Watching Suede run around, yelling, and letting Rosie chase after him makes your heart swell. To watching Audrey with the biggest grin on her face, and you are so proud of her for being able to find her comfort, happiness, and peace. Rosie has been the perfect addition to the family.

Yeah, she made her messes, just like everybody did. But her heart is so tender. She is such a smart dog that loves to crawl in the bed with Audrey every night. She has become a part of the family in such a short time, and she made your babies so happy. She’s attentive to Audrey and Suede’s emotions. Audrey stubbed her toe, and Rosie was right by her side offering herself for a hug.

You check the time on your watch, sighing as you stand up. The twins are starting to take up so much room. You didn’t know how you were going to make it the entire pregnancy. You’ll just do what you have to.

“Audrey, Suede, Rosie girl!” All three stop, panting and giggling. “It’s time to get washed up before daddy gets home, so let's get ready for dinner,” you know that your children have their moments of being stubborn, or just having a bad day, but today is a reminder of just how amazing they are.

“Osie! C’mon, geryl.”

“Yeah, come on, girl. Let’s get cleaned up, and I can give you your dinner, okay?” The three of them toddle up the front steps, and you make it a point to ruffle each of their hairs before they make their way into the half bathroom downstairs.

“You guys can play on your iPad minis for a little bit or get out your markers and crayons. I’m going to make the gravy in the kitchen,” each child answers with a cute okay. “I’ll put Rosie some food in her bowl. Audi, just make sure you give her fresh water after dinner.”

“Yes, mommy!” She smiles, walking out of the bathroom with the dog. “I used the wipes on her paws, too.”

“Good girl, Auds. Suedey, do not walk out of that bathroom without washing your hands.”

“Me poop!”

“Ugh! Gross!” “All the more reason for you to wash.”

“Fine!” He growls.

You walk into the kitchen. Wanting to get things finished as quickly as possible, just so you can spend some more time with your babies. They’re not just an accessory, they’re these tiny humans that you can’t get enough of. You just want to watch them grow, and play with them, make every memory with them. And Andy wants to do that by your side.

Scott hadn’t called. Hadn’t text. Hadn’t sent a message through anyone. Word on the street is that Taylor couldn’t handle him anymore, and is now with a more age appropriate man. Good riddance. There’s no part of you that cares anymore. Scott’s feelings stopped mattering that day you saw them together.

Even though there’s a part of you that wonders how you could have been so blind. You weren’t madly in love with Scott, but he seemed a decent fit. A decent enough father when Audrey was little. But now you think it has more to do with you being present, and nothing to do with him parenting. She was always your responsibly.

Puffing out an aggravated bit of air, you press your hand against your stomach, smiling. Your little angels. Everything is going perfectly smoothly. Minus the amount of space that they required. But they’re here. A miracle that you didn’t think you would ever get to experience again. And you wanted to experience it with Andy more than anything.

“You’re getting in your head again, honey,” Andy whispers. He lays his jacket from the day over the back of a dining room chair, and walks behind you. Cupping the twins, and resting his chin on your shoulder. “What are you thinking about?”

“How I chose a shitty father for Audrey and Suede.”

“Hmm,” he says as his body starts to sway. Bringing you right along with him with his movements. “Alexa, play ‘I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’.”

The tune starts to play, and he removes the pan from the burner before turning you around with him. Holding your hand, while his left hand rests on your hip. “I don’t want you to think about that anymore, because it’s not important, and I just don’t care.”

“But I did.”

“But had it been any other man, it wouldn’t have been Audrey and Suede. Had it been any other man, you wouldn’t have been here, and found me. Had it been any other man, you wouldn’t know just how amazing I am,” he’s right. “I’m right, you know? I know that everything that happened last weekend has made you go into your head, but I wish you would stop. Don’t worry about then, worry about right now. And right now, you know what I want?”

“What’s that?” You whisper as his hand shimmies down your arm. You place your other hand on his shoulder, stepping even closer to him. His hand roams down your body until he settles on your stomach, and rubs over the bump. “What do you want?”

“To feel these babies,” you giggle, pulling his mouth to yours, and kiss him so gently. There’s nothing vulgar or desperate about the kiss. It’s sweet and almost innocent. You pepper chaste kisses over his mouth, while he searches for a way to feel them. He swears, but only to you, that he already has felt them.

Audrey peeks into the kitchen, and stands there. Observing and watching the two of you. She might be young, but she’s never seen you smile like that with her father. She’s never seen her father come home, and make sure you’ve had a good day. Her dad never got on the floor with her and played with real toys, or danced like this with you. Her dad didn’t ever look at you like her daddy does.

Scott didn’t do a silly dance after dinner, or go on long walks as a family. He didn’t touch you like that. Audrey may be a young child, but her maturity is far beyond her age, and she knows there’s something entirely special about the love between you and her daddy. There’s something different about the way that Andy can make everyone’s day better by just being around. Because he wants to.

Andy gasps, and leans away from you. His eyes light up with the most beaming smile, “Doe!” You nod your head, and use your fingers to brush back his hair. “Really?” You respond by nodding again, but he drops to his knees.

There are so many moments that make you believe in true love, and make you fall even more in love with Andy. This is one of those moments. He lifts up your shirt, and starts kissing over the swell of your belly. Feeling the tiny little kicks with his lips for the first time. “I think that’s baby A. Remember, that one is a bit bigger.”

“I don’t even care. That’s our baby,” Audrey steps back into the hallway, but continues to listen. “We did this, Doe. We made us a baby. We thought it was never going to happen, but here they are.”

Andy lays his head on your stomach, and wraps both his arms around you. “I love them both so much. But,” he tilts back, and gazes up at you. Petting around his beard, you tilt your head to the side in question, “Don’t tell Audi I felt them first.”

“Why?” Audrey smiles, looking down at her dress, and she smooths it down. Even in this special moment, he is thinking about her.

“Because I want my princess to be the first to feel them. Even though she’s not, I don’t want to take that joy away from her.”

“You jerk,” you start crying. Andy stands up, and pulls you into his body. “You wanted me to cry, didn’t you?”

“No, but it is really sweet how I can make you cry happy tears while you're pregnant so easily.”

“You know what my favorite thing is about you, Andy?” He hums, starting to sway the two of you around. “You love Audrey and Suede like they’re your kids.”

“They are. Their mom is perfect, and she’s raising these perfect kids. I’m honestly just glad I get to be part of that life with them, and you every day,” you take a deep breath in. You didn’t choose a good first husband. You rushed, you forced, you settled, but you got the most beautiful prefect children. This time you’re marrying the perfect one for you, but also them.

“Why don’t you blow your nose, and we’ll eat supper.”

“I don’t need to blow my nose!”

“Pretty sure you got your snot on my shirt,” with a quick little nudge on his body, you push him away from you, laughing. There’s a reason he likes to say things like that. It’s all about making you laugh again. “I think our princess and monster are hungry.”

“Rawr!!” Suede runs in from behind you. Colliding right into your legs. “Rawr! Daddy, me run fast with Osie!”

“Did you? Did she make any messes today?”

“Not one!” Audrey skips into the kitchen with Rosie walking right beside her. “She’s a good girl that uses the pee pee pads, huh?” The sweet lab just wags her tail in response. Tapping her nose against Andy’s pant leg before he finally pulls apart from you.

“I know, she’s a sweet girl, too. Let mommy get plates started, and I’m going to get my Rosie Osie girl some food. Audrey, will you grab the silverware, and Suede get the napkins, and do your best at putting them by our chairs pretty, okay?”

“Chess! Me good. Me pwetty!”

“Alright, everyone’s got their assignment, let's meet at the table,” before he gets too far away, you give his little tush a pinch, and he returns with a devilish smirk. “You’ll pay for that later.”

“Oh, I’m counting on it, Mr. Barber.”

“You better watch yourself, Mrs. Barber.”

“Guys, no more kissing until after our silly dance. Alexa, play daddy’s dinner music,” you don’t know what passes between Andy and Audrey, but there’s a little twinkle in both their eyes. “There, that’s better.”

“Yes, princess. You always know how to make things better.”

Tonight is Andy’s night to read to Audrey, while you put your sleepy boy to bed. You give him the sweetest little kisses, petting around his face, and you thank whatever higher entity exists, if there is one, that you get to be his and Audrey’s mom. The sleep is so heavy in Suede’s eyes, even if he tries to fight it.

“What do tomowwow?” You’re so proud of the progress he has made with his speech. Patience, calmness, and consistency has made the world of a difference. Having a dad that wants to talk to him also does. He just wants to mimic Andy constantly.

“Tomorrow, you and I are going to pick Audrey up early.”

“Uh huh.”

“But first we have to pack a picnic,” Suede nods his head in agreement. His eyes stay closed just a few seconds longer. “And you, sissy, and I are having a picnic in the park in front of daddy’s office. And before we go home, we’re going to see if he’s busy, and drop him off a snack.”

“Chess. Me yike dat,” his eyes completely close, but he’s not relaxed enough to be actually asleep. “Me stay daddy?”

“No, you’ll have to come home with us.”

“Osie?” he asks, his eyes never opening again.

“Rosie is going to be with us, buddy. Daddy got her a dog car seat,” he smiles nodding his head at the prospect of being at the park with his sister, mom, and Rosie. “And we’ve got to drop off our library books,” he nods, but just barely. “I love you, Suedey.”

“Me, too. Daddy at?”

“I’ll go get him to tell his buddy goodnight, okay?”

“Chess,” his voice lulls on, and you know there’s only a few more minutes before Suede is completely gone, but he’ll do whatever he has to in order to stay awake for Andy to tell him goodnight.

—

Andy closes the book to Charlotte's Web, and kisses the top of Audrey’s head. He pulls the little girl closer to his body, hugging her a little bit tighter. Rosie crawls up the bed a bit more, and lays her head on Audrey’s lap, causing the little girl to giggle. “I like having Rosie.”

“I think she is a perfect addition to our family,” Andy agrees. His eyes close. The little pink echo plays soft bedtime music in the background. “How was school, princess?”

“It was good,” she turns to look up at Andy, and then cuddles into his side. Waiting for him to wrap an arm around her, and he does. Pulling her even closer to him. “I know you felt the babies.”

“I felt a baby,” Andy whispers, peeking his eyes open to look at the little girl.

“Why did you tell mommy not to tell me?”

“Because it was important that you felt them first. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”

“Even though it’s a lie?”

Andy thinks for a moment. Trying to contemplate a way that Audrey can understand. “You’re right, it is a lie. But it’s not something that would hurt you. I was not going to tell you because it was something so special for you that I wanted you to feel the babies first.”

“Hmm,” Audrey says. She lifts up off the bed a bit, and stares at him. “But you only felt one baby?” Andy nods. “So I can still feel the other before you?” He nods again. “Okay. I think that’s fair.”

“How do you mean?”

“Because you’re their daddy. You should get to feel one first. You’ve never had a baby in mommy’s belly. I had Suede. I remember feeling him for the first time. It’s weird, but fun. And when they start to move in there, it looks like a monster,” the conversation dulls into nothing, while Audrey fights her sleep just a bit more.

Thinking about her day, and how she wants to be the one to feel the next baby first. “My Scott Daddy didn’t like feeling Suede. He called it gross. Do you think it’s gross?”

“No. I think it’s beautiful, and a miracle, and overwhelming, you know?”

“Overwhelming?” She asks inquisitively.

“When you get all these feelings at once, and it’s just too much. Too many feelings all at the same time.”

“Yeah. It’s overwhelming. How old were you when you loved mommy first?” Her curiosity about Andy and you is so sweet. To the point you asked your mom to bring all your old photos with her the next time she visits.

“Seventeen. She was fifteen, nearly sixteen. But we started ‘dating’ when I was fifteen. She had just turned fourteen. And her mom hated it. It wasn't that serious though until one day I just knew,” Audrey looks up at Andy expectantly. “I knew I was going to marry her. That we were going to have these beautiful kids. And I’m getting that with her. I have that with her.”

Audrey shimmies her shoulders a bit before looking at Rosie. The little dog wiggles up a bit higher. Moving the tiniest bit closer, “Do you wish you found mommy sooner?”

“Only if it meant she was going to have the awesome kids she does. I don’t want it if I can’t have you and Suede in my life. So don’t think for a second that I don’t love the two of you as much as I love those two babies in mommy’s belly, okay?”

Audrey gives a nod, and squeezes on Andy’s chest, “But if you ever feel doubtful, I want you to talk to me. Never think you’re not allowed to do that. I always want to listen to you, princess.”

“You promise?” The only person that ever listened to her in the past was you.

“Pinky promise,” he says. Andy holds up his pinky, and Audrey takes her own with his. “I want our family to be based on talking with each other. We have to communicate.”

“Yes. Communicate,” with a sigh, and a yawn, Audrey wiggles down her bed, forgetting what she was supposed to say or tell him. “I love you, daddy.”

“Love you, too, princess Audi.”

“Can you go get mommy? I need my snuggles before bed,” he didn’t have to get you. In fact you’re just right outside her door listening to their sweet conversation. Almost wanted to intrude on them. If you had to pick a perfect father for them, it would be Andy. If you had to pick a perfect man for you, it would be Andy. So how excited that you get both. Audrey gets to see and feel the way a man should treat a woman. But also how a man should respect her feelings, even the small ones.

Andy gives her another kiss to the top of her head, and starts to walk out the door. Quickly you intercept him for a not so innocent kiss, and pinch his bum, “You better quit.”

“I can't, I like it when you get all flustered. I’ll be just a little bit,” he kisses you again, switching to go into Suede’s room for his goodnight, while you smile at the sweetest little girl, struggling to stay awake.

“Rosie, you are so spoiled, huh, sweet girl? Get to sleep in the canopy bed, while Princess Audi snuggles you all night,” Rosie stretches out a bit more keeping a close watch on Audrey. “Did you have a good day, baby?”

“Uh-huh,” her little head nods, but her eyes never open. She lifts her arms up to make grabby hands, and you lean over for a kiss. “Today was a good day.”

“Okay, baby. Get some sleep. Door open or closed?”

She pats Rosie’s belly, smiling up at you through closed eyes, “Closed.”

“I love you, Audrey.”

“Love you, mommy,” her words are already trailing off. Sleeping much more soundly because she’s comfortable. She had a good day. No moments of anxiety. She even talked about her dad without getting all squeamish, and then shutting down. She is making progress. A lot more than you can say for Scott.

“Mommy?” You halt turning off the light, and look at her. “Suede said he wants a dinosaur birthday but…”

“Daddy said we should have the party here. Just us, Ransom, Miss Tatum, and Nini and Papa are going to come and see the new house. We’ll be with Suedey all day, baby. Don't worry.”

“Promise?”

“I promise. I won’t take my eyes off him, and daddy and I are going to reread every label for his allergens,” she nods, and burrows her face into her pillow. A dinosaur party, you can do. Have a party at the house, you can do. Having to calm the fears of your five year old that her brother won’t die is not something you were prepared for.

“You might as well lock the door,” Andy groans as you walk into the bedroom. With a sinful grin, you turn around to lock the door. “Mmm, and don’t bother trying to impress me with how sexy you are. Believe me, it’s a struggle not to push myself inside of you every second I’m around you.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah,” he laughs. You start to saunter to him, despite his eyes rolling. “I have desired you for as long as I can remember. You know on our first date when you just kissed my cheek, I — well, I had to leave quickly.”

“Andrew Barber, a kiss on the cheek made you hard?”

“And it didn’t even take me long to, well, you get it. You remember that night we drove out to the middle of nowhere, and you threw your leg over my body, and just settled down?”

“Uh-huh,” you coo, biting on your lip. Standing in front of the bed, you not so sexily start taking your clothes off. You like where this conversation is heading. “I got tired of waiting on you to really kiss me.”

“And we didn’t just kiss did we?” You shake your head no, pulling the shirt off you. “You were grinding on top of me like you were in heat. I asked you to stop, and you stopped immediately asking why.”

“Unfortunately with an older brother, I knew too much about a man’s anatomy. You were so embarrassed. I asked you if you wanted me to get off, but you didn’t. You just needed to breathe, and wanted to enjoy that moment. Remember when we both came? You’re voice cracked. And I heard you say fuck for the first time.”

“Nothing had ever felt so good. Our relationship changed. We began sneaking around just to mess around.”

“And then — you rented us a hotel for prom. You regret it?” You ask, looking down at Andy’s hand that has been gently stroking his giant cock. You are ready to have him inside of you. But watching how you still make him hard feels so good. The way his eyes roam over your pregnant body with still so much animalistic hunger makes slick rush directly to your center. The place where you longed for him the most.

“The only thing I regret is losing touch,” he moans as his eyes look over your body. “Imagine me losing touch with those perfect tits. C’mere. Honey, I’m aching here. Won’t you put me out of my misery. Please, Doe. I want nothing more than to feel you, and worship your body.”

“When you say it like that,” you whimper. You crawl up the bed, and straddle him. “Help me,” you bite your lip as he guides you to his engorged cock. He’s a pro at knowing your body, and he settles you on his spongy mushroom head, and you sink over him slowly. Not stopping until you’ve taken him fully.

“Thatta girl.”

“Whew,” you breathe heavily. Andy’s hands caress down your body. Going to your hips, and then moving across your belly. “You can’t say things like that.”

“Like what? Thatta girl?” Preening, you nod your head. “Oh, sweet Doe. I forget how much of a praise kink girl you are. Does it make you feel weak knowing that your pussy is the best thing I’ve ever felt?” Your head nods rapidly, and you lean back, and rest your hands on the bed. “There you go. Give me the best view in the world.”

You start rotating your hips. Sliding off his cock before pulling him back in. “You take me so well,” the things out of his mouth make you want to roll your eyes in the back of your head. “And you look so good doing it. I have you so full of me. We got what we always wanted. Me growing inside your belly. And just to prove that I have the best cock, I put two babies inside you.”

“Andy,” you breathlessly whisper. The feeling of him deep in your core, mixed with his sweet and lewd words.

“Don’t Andy me with that voice. You are not about to come,” you just nod your head. “How? You’ve barely started. I want to enjoy this more. Baby, just slow down.”

“Baby? Andy, stop your dirty talk.”

“You are so whiny, and so sensitive,” he presses his thumb against your clit, making slow circles over the tiny bean. “And that is not dirty talk. I’ll give you dirty talk when I have you on your knees, and taking my cock like the best wife in the world.”

“Fuck,” you grit out. Ready to keel over when he tightens the circles. “You’re doing that on purpose.”

“So what is it? Dirty talk or praise that gets you?”

“Both,” Andy stares up at you like you are a goddess. Entranced by the way that your body moves. The way that your fuller tits ripple with the pace you’re forcing out. You are fucking phenomenal. He didn’t know that you would be more perfect and beautiful now than you were then. Age has done nothing but make him love you more, desire you more.

You are more beautiful now than you were then. And now you’re giving him all he’s ever wanted; someone that loves him the way that you do. You have given him a family. He is a father because of you. There will come a time that he will get to adopt both children, that he is sure of. And he will. From the moment he laid eyes on Audrey with her eyes looking just like yours, and then got to meet both kids, he knew that they belonged to him. That the four of you were going to be a family. If they were the only kids that he had, he would still be happy.

”There’s a good girl,” he pants out watching your body start to race for your release. “Fuck yourself on your husband’s cock.”

“Oh, god,” he’s loved every stage with you, and will continue to love you through every one to come. Birthing the babies. Crying with you when they take their first breath of air. Crying when you see them with the best big sister and brother in the world. Crying when Audrey and Suede officially become his children. The two of you have a world of happy tears yet to come. And he’s going to enjoy each and every one.

He is going to protect you, love you, praise you, and fuck you until your dying day. And he better leave this world with you. Because he wasn’t going to live in a world without you. He whispers your real name, waiting on you to look at him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Now — come for me,” you aren’t sure what the magic man does with his thumb, but it sends you careening over the edge. Your hips stutter and buck as your walls clamp down around him. Trembling as you try and catch your breath, while also covering your mouth to mask the mewls that you can’t contain. Making you see stars, and your body pulses with euphoria. “You sure you can’t stay pregnant all the time, Doe?”

“Why?” You pant. Your body starts to go slack, and Andy slowly starts helping you off his body. Pointing to the bed, so you go ahead, and get on your knees.

“Because not only do you look gorgeous and sexy, but you are so sensitive,” you give your ass a wiggle, waiting for Andy to get behind you. He bends, licking a stripe along your swollen cunt before positioning himself behind you. “Do you want me to fuck you into the mattress, or pull you up to me and make sweet passionate love with you?”

“Both, and in that order.”

“Whatever you say,” he grunts, crashing his length into your wet heat. Your toes curl on impact, and you grip tight to the sheets. “Fuck,” his voice growls out as he stabs into you. So much force and dominance over your body, and yet, you know that he cherishes you, and wants to make sure you have the utmost pleasure.

Andy, however, cannot get enough of your body. Every change that it’s going through is because of him. Because of the love that the two of you made. Because of that love, your body is expanding, and making way for two more people to add to love. His reasons are in his grasp. They’re right here in this house. His home. His family.

“Ands?” You start panting out, looking behind him. “Babe, you’ve gone soft,” his aggressive tempo had slowed to the point of him just being nestled inside of you. “You okay?”

“You’ve given me everything I’ve always wanted. I’ll never be able to thank you enough,” reaching around your front, his arm goes between your breasts, and he lifts you into a kneeling position. Burying his face into your neck, Andy whispers, “But thank you.”

“Thank you,” his hips start a slow movement into your body. “Thank you for proving that good men exist. Thank you for making me fall in love again. Thank you for never giving up on our dream. Thank you for being my partner, and the dad my kids deserve. Our kids.”

His speed increases, while his mouth nips and sucks on your neck. He’ll leave a mark. But you didn’t care. Let him. Let him leave all the love marks that he wants. You’ve never feared with Andy, except the fear of losing him. But now that you have him, you’re never letting go again. There isn’t college and time that can separate you. He is yours forever and always.

He enjoys praise just as much as you do, but it isn’t about the praise of his capabilities. It’s praise of the man that he is. He feared he would become a man just like his father. Andy is all his own. He took the cards that were dealt to him, and he changed his course of life forever. He proved that you can become a good man despite the people in your life.

Andy has proved over and over again that he is just good. Not perfect. Lord knows that there have been petty arguments, but they’re quickly settled. His voice has never raised towards you, he comes home every night, his phone isn’t locked And there’s no secrets hidden in it, and his tone towards Audrey and Suede is always even. He enjoys them the way that you do.

He rushes home just to spend as much time with them before bedtime. He wants to plan mini vacations, and become a tourist in Boston. He wants to enjoy the time that he has, and make memories with the kids. How did you get so lucky to love a human so perfect for you and your kids.

The way he crashes into your warmth makes you get out of your head and live in this moment. This beautiful moment. You never have to guess how Andy feels about you, or your changing body, he shows you with every thrust into you. You’re still just as desirable today than you were as a teenager. To him, you are more desirable.

This is the man that you are going to grow old with. One of these days, the two of you will be sitting in rockers on the front porch, watching your grandchildren play. Of all the things you’ve been sure about in your life, Andy is the top one.

He ruts into you with so much force, you whimper too loud. Andy covers your mouth with his hand, “Be as loud as you want, Doe.”

You are. You let his hand muffle you enough that you are practically screaming. Nothing is more beautiful in this moment than you and him being connected as one. It’s everything. It’s Andy. Just him.

Gritting on your neck, he pushes into you so hard and deep. Your walls start fluttering around him. Choking his cock with every part of you as you reach a beautiful high. And then his warmth balloons inside of you. Filling every inch of your cunt. And your cunt pulses around his throbbing length. Milking every last drop of him.

“We get to do this for the rest of our lives,” he pants out. Slowly, he pulls himself out of you, and places you on the bed. “Get some rest. I’m going to get a washcloth and clean you, and then we’re snuggling all night long. I do miss being the little spoon though.”

“It’ll be awhile before you’ll get that position again,” you try and steady your breathing, and you pet over your belly. Smiling because you are bound and determined to let Audrey feel this one. Baby B just was being shy. But you feel it on your finger tips. “Shh, don’t let daddy know.”

“Huh?” Andy asks, coming back into the bedroom. “Who are you talking to?”

“Myself. I was just wondering what was taking daddy so long,” Andy shakes his head, and pulls your legs apart. Cleansing you from his spend. “Audrey says Suede wants a dinosaur birthday.”

“Yes, he told me something about that. And he wants Unk Yan to come,” you love that Suede has little conversations with just Andy. He trusted his daddy so much. But the fact that Andy listens, and absorbs it, makes you so happy. “But we’ve got a doctor’s appointment. And Audrey wants to go. So maybe — both kids can go for the gender reveal?”

“I like that idea. Maybe Suedey can show you where the babies are,” his face falls, and you just giggle. He still hadn’t figured out an ultrasound.

“They look like blobs, honey. I know that they’re in there, but right now it just looks like nothing. I will be glad when they have fingers and toes, and eyeballs, so maybe I can see what they are. But they’re growing and they’re healthy. That’s what matters.”

And it is what matters. They’re healthy. You’re healthy, and your exhaustion isn’t quite what it used to be. First trimester took it out of you. But now, you’re at a happy medium and have more energy. And your other babies are happy and healthy. What more could you want?

“So that’s where we’re going to see the babies?” Audrey points at the monitor, looking a bit confused. Andy stands on one side of you, holding Suede who is busy playing on his phone, while Audrey is on the other side, holding your hand.

“And not only will you get to see them, but you get to hear their heartbeats,” her eyes go large, and she hops back and forth on her feet. Her excitement for the twins makes this moment so much sweeter. Suede is too involved with the dinosaur game, and wasn’t fully grasping the idea of babies in your belly. He acknowledged they were there, but you didn’t know if he truly understood.

“I remember hearing your heartbeat for the first time. It’s something I can never forget. And Suedey’s. It’s such a sweet sound. And then I found out you were going to be a girl, and I couldn’t wait.”

“Was — my Scott daddy excited I was a girl?”

“He was. He wanted a girl,” you didn’t have to see Andy to know that he was rolling his eyes. Scott wanting a girl, and not wanting Suede is a sour spot with both of you. But you couldn’t fully make Scott the villain for Audrey. She still struggled with his existence in her life.

You groan, and put your hand on your stomach. There they were. “Audrey, baby, hurry give me your hand. Beat daddy.”

“Ahh!” She gasps, running to the side where Andy is and places her hand on your stomach. “Is it…is it the other baby?”

“Yes, I do think this is Baby B.”

“Oh, mommy!” She giggles, removing her hand from your stomach, and stares at your belly before placing her hand back. “It feels so weird, but cool, and is this what beautiful feels like?” You tilt your head like a puppy, not understanding her question. “You know when something feels beautiful. Is this what it feels like? That feels like a right word to use right now.”

“Oh, baby,” your emotions have been able to stay in check, and then your sweet girl says something like that. “If it feels right to call it beautiful, then it is right,” you try to pull her closer to you, but she shakes her head no. “Why?”

“I just want to feel the baby. Daddy, I beat you,” you miss the winks passing between the two of them.

“You did, princess. I’m glad that there’s two. You’ll get to hold one, and I will. Mommy will need our help, huh?” She smiles, and nods, looking up at Andy. Audrey quickly turns to look back at your belly, and her smile just keeps getting wider.

You enjoy just having a moment looking at her. She’s entranced by feeling her baby brother or sister. Her fascination is the sweetest thing, and you know you can never get enough of her loving her siblings.

You’re caught in a daze when the door opens, and the doctor immediately walks over to the sink to wash his hands, “So we got the other rugrats with us today. Are you going to help your parents with the twins?” Audrey smiles, nodding her head, but Suede scowls looking at him. “I’m not going to hurt your parents, or try and take you away from them,” Suede lays his head on Andy’s shoulder. His eyes flick back and forth between the phone, and the doctor.

He pulls up his stool next to you. Grabbing up the jelly, and squirts the stupidly cold goo on you. “What’s that for?”

“The easy explanation is it makes the picture on the TV a bit better. Alright, mom, dad, prince and princess, are you ready to see what we’ve got in here?”

“Do you look at their privates to know?” You stifle a laugh, because she is right. Even if you can tell she caught the doctor off guard.

“I do,” he says smiling, and he pulls up the wand. “You’re pretty smart. How old are you?”

“I’m five. I just felt Baby B move! I beat daddy to feel them.”

“Well, in that case, you want to look at Baby B first?” Audrey responds with a yes, and jumps up and down. “Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here. Baby B is the baby that is measuring a bit smaller, and seems to be a tiny bit younger,” he fiddles around on your stomach, and everyone stares at the monitor. Andy looks as confused as Andy, Suede turns to Andy pointing.

“Is that a leg?” Audrey asks, pointing, but Andy shakes his head, no.

“It is. But, as you’ve said, I have to try and find its privates to see if we’ve got a boy or — well.”

“I don’t know what’s going on.”

“What do you see? Is that!? Suede, Baby B has a penis!”

“Me, too!”

“I’m glad you guys know the proper terms here. I didn’t know what I should say. Alright, mom and dad, you’ve got a boy with Baby B. Princess, you get to tell your daddy that you felt your baby brother first. Alright Baby A, come on, little one. Show yourself. You don’t have to hide from your big sister.”

You don’t want to get too excited because you know what babies that hide can mean. Things are very overwhelming right now. You want to soak up seeing the babies. Want to watch Andy cluelessly try to figure out what he’s looking at, and you want to hold your first baby. She’s a bundle of excitement, and it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever seen.

“Should have figured.”

“What?”

“What are you even looking at?”

“My daddy.”

“It’s a girl,” you sob, reaching for Andy. His eyes go so wide, and then he’s looking at you. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Yep. Dad did a great job. You’re getting one of each,” he scoots his chair away from your bedside, not leaving, but giving your family some space.

“I’m getting a brother and sister!”

“Doe,” Andy says softly as he leans over to kiss your head. “You just keep making my life more complete.”

“Suedey! We’re getting a brother and sister!”

You have no words, only tears as you lift up off the table, and reach for Andy. 2.5 kids is a myth. 4.5 kids is perfect. You and Andy are getting one of each. He did do good. He’s always done so much good. He’d repaired your heart and your mind when you thought it was never going to happen for you. He’d been everything that you needed and wanted, in a time that you felt so desolate.

He’d given you everything.

And you’d always give him his home.

His family.

Next

Masterlist

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“Me pee. Me pee. Me pee,” Suede jumps up from the couch where he had been taking a nap. Ignoring how Andy is chuckling at the little boy sprinting towards the bathroom. Struggling to make it to the bathroom in time.

“Did you make it, buddy?” Andy keeps his laughter light, so his son doesn’t hear him.

“Chess. Me ake it, daddy. More bett-or,” more better always meaning he feels better. Andy returns to his laptop. Getting ahead of next week when he hears the little boy start to walk out of the bathroom.

“Hands, Suede.”

“Ugh,” the dramatic side has to be from Scott. Unless you were a drama queen when you were younger, and he does not think that is even possible. “Me hands cean!”

“No, they’re not. You touched your penis,” you were a bit unsure about the kids knowing the correct terms of their body parts, until Andy explained that there isn’t anything wrong with it, and then there would be no doubt if they need to tell you something.

“Ugh, otay! Me ash me hands,” he stomps up on his stool, starting to play in the water more than wash his hands. His little annoyance is over. He jumps off his stool to dry his hands, and ‘monster walks’ towards your bedroom. Stomping and growling until he stops, and stares at the empty bed. “Daddy!”

“Suedey,” Andy says calmly as the cute little boy walks into the living room. Shrugging animatedly, “What is it?”

“Where my mama at? Daddy, where my mama at?”

“She is in the bed with Audrey taking a nap,” Suede turns to walk towards the stairs, until Andy clears his throat, and Suede turns to face the man that has become his father. “Do not go and wake them up.”

“Me wake!”

“I know you’re awake, but they are not,” Suede huffs before crossing his arms over his chest, and sits on the floor. “You don’t have to be like that. You’re acting all moody. They’ll wake up soon.”

“Me pay,” Suede huffs out, sticking his bottom lip out for emphasis that this is serious.

“You and I can play.”

“You work,” Andy closes his laptop, and sets it on the side table. Returning the biggest smile on the little boy’s face as he jumps up, and runs to get his living room toys. “We pay?”

“Yes, buddy. You and I can play.”

“Mama seep. Audi seep. Why?" His smile gets even larger when Andy sits on the floor with him, so he dumps LEGO bricks onto the coffee table.

“Audrey likes spending time with mama, and mama has what in her belly?”

“Two babieeess!”

“Yes, exactly. And growing babies is a lot of work. So I let mama sleep whenever she gets tired. Audrey thinks she’s going to feel the babies move first. I think that’s why she’s always with her,” Suede shrugs again, and starts stacking brick upon brick. The explanation was enough for him. The more important thing was his daddy was now playing with him.

Before Andy can even start to build, your phone lights up with a call. Andy gives it a bit of acknowledgment before silencing the ring. “Do you like staying at home with mama?” He still hadn’t returned to daycare. You just couldn’t do it, and Andy never pressured you to send him.

“Chess,” is his simple answer. And he scowls when your phone lights up from another call, and the same person. Andy silences it again, sighing when he tries to pay attention to Suede. “Who dat?”

“Someone calling to talk to your mama,” he says, regretfully having to silence it again. He finally gets a moment of rest, until a text comes through. He shouldn’t snoop, but this is from a man that you have called so much in the past couple months. A man you have begged to call his daughter. It’s not snooping, this is scanning the message before you.

’I wish you’d pick up so I can talk to you about seeing my daughter.’

It shouldn’t bother him that Scott didn’t mention Suede at all. He’d terminated all rights to the little boy, and Andy is well on his way to adopt him. Making Suede legally his. Just like you are now legally his wife. A ceremony can happen after the twins are born, but he didn’t want to take any chances with Scott trying something stupid for a bit more control.

Not that he doubted who the twins belonged to. But Andy doesn’t want you to have unnecessary stress. A stress free environment is what you need, and he’s going to do his damnedest to make sure that happens, and these phone calls, and the text should not be happening. Especially since Audrey has quit asking for her dad, for now.

Audrey has been resilient. Almost accepting that her father didn’t want to see her, and the announcement of you being pregnant helped. She always wanted to be with you. Always wanted to help you. She would even bring you things without asking. Watching your water bottle to make sure you stayed hydrated. Needless to say, becoming a big sister again is something she truly wanted.

Andy knows it’s just a distraction at the moment. He knows bedtime is the hardest, and she would ask him or sometimes you about her dad, and when he was going to call, or see her and Suede. She wanted to know when she could tell her dad about you having two more babies. She wanted to tell him what she got for Christmas, even quit asking what she thought he would get her. She is protecting herself by not bringing up Scott, but she is curious.

It’s the one thing Andy truly didn’t understand. The thought that Scott has the ability to get her every other Saturday, currently overnight stays were not allowed until he went through an anger management class. Scott’s ego had been bruised, and instead of being a man, he’d pretended that he didn’t have kids. You warned Andy it wouldn’t last. Once his mom started to ask about the kids, especially her little lawyer, he’d start playing the game again.

Game.

Too many things make Andy sick about Scott, but the way he treats his flesh and blood is the most abhorrent. Andy doesn’t want Audrey to be out of his sight. Wants her to be right here under this roof where he knows she’s safe. She deserved to be home and with people that she loved, and loved her equally back. Not used her as a reflection for his own ego. Scott loved her as long as she was making him look good. And ultimately he determined Suede never would.

Disgusting. There is no other word for a father who can be away from his children like him. Andy missed seeing his family on a daily basis, and it was only for a few hours while he worked. He couldn’t wait to come back home knowing all three of you were waiting on him. Soon it would be all five of you. The difference is Andy always wanted this life, and with you.

“Daddy, my yuv oo,” Suedey smiles up at Andy, scooting just a little bit closer to the man.

“I love you, too, Suedey. To the moon.”

“And yack!”

—

You brush back the baby hairs off your daughter’s forehead. Leaning forward to kiss on the top of her head. You let the sweet tear drift down your cheek as you sniffle. Since telling her you were pregnant, she didn’t want to leave your side. Sweetly demanded that you take naps in her bed with her. You don't care. You love these frozen moments with her. A reminder that she’s still so little and young.

Your sweet amazing little girl is growing up too fast. She may be tiny, but she is mighty. You couldn’t have asked for a better big sister to her brother, and soon more siblings. She is more kind and patient than you could have imagined. Protective and the most loving little human you’ve ever met.

If you could have had her with a different man you would have. Thankfully she has Andy to fill in that empty space her daddy has left. You wipe a tear off your cheeks as you just watch her sleep. She’s so beautiful. The baby that made you a mom, and you could not be more proud.

Here at her home she gets to be the bubbly princess of her dreams. Her imagination here has changed dramatically. Her stuttering has slowed down. And much to Andy’s surprise, she was drawing unicorns, fairies, and castles with his and your help.

“Mommy, your tears are getting me all wet,” you softly laugh as Audrey sits up in her princess bed. The cozy throw still covers the both of you as she stretches, and yawns, “Why are you crying anyways? Is it bad? Are you hurting? Did the babies kick!?” her voice goes higher at the last question. She wants to feel them kick so much.

“I’m just so happy that I’m your mommy,” Audrey gives you a sweet smile before leaning towards you, and hugging you, while snuggling into you. You inhale the soft smell of her sweet pea shampoo, and pull her on top of you.

“Mommy! Am I going to hurt the babies! Oh no!”

“Audrey, if you were going to hurt them, I wouldn’t have done this. Just give me a big ole hug,” she does. Burying herself deeper into your body. “What are we going to have for supper tonight?”

“Daddy said mush, but you said it was going to be chicken and rice with carrots and broccoli. So can we have that instead?” You love hearing her call Andy daddy. One day it just naturally turned into that. You knew it might not stick. That there was this part of her that needed to have a father in her life, and Andy fills that void. He’s always present, and always there for her and Suede. You know that his relationship with your baby boy is such a comfort to Audrey.

“Yes, my darling, we’ll have chicken and rice. Mmm,” you groan, sitting up and stretching. “Shall we go check on your brother and…”

“Daddy. Yes,” she interrupts you, and starts to crawl out of the bed. “You can call him that for me, you know?” It’s the first time that she ever told you that it was okay to acknowledge Andy as her daddy.

“You’re sure?” She nods her head. “You’re really sure?” Audrey giggles, nodding her head more. “You’re completely positive I can refer to Andy as your daddy?”

“Suede calls him that, and the twins will, too, so why can’t I?” You can’t argue with that logic. You didn’t care about Scott’s feelings anymore. May his balls smell and itch, and Taylor doesn’t want to have sex with him. “I think daddy suits him.”

“Me, too,” you answer with the utmost sincerity. Being a father is the sexiest you’ve ever seen Andy. “Come on. I think you and Suede need to play in the living room, while daddy and I get dinner going. And I’m cooking this all in the oven, so when it’s in there, we get to play with you, too.”

“Yes!” She screams, darting to the door. Her little feet pad to the stairs too quickly for Andy’s liking.

“Princess, don’t you run down those stairs,” you hear your now husband tell her, and her footsteps slow down. No screaming, and no condescending tone. Stretching again, you get her bed back in proper order before heading downstairs yourself. The quicker you get dinner in the oven, the quicker you get to spend time with your family.

Lazy Sundays are your absolute favorite. Until you’re met at the bottom of the steps by Andy. Instead of his warm smile, his brows are lifted, and the lines in his forehead seem deeper, “I just woke up. I don’t…”

“Scott called,” you gulp, looking to the living room to see Audrey and Suede happily playing with toys out in the open. They are happy. Audrey has dealt with the absence of her father. It hasn’t been easy, but is he wanting to talk to her, and then be absent again? If he’s coming into her life you want consistency. Him being gone almost broke her.

“Honey,” Andy says softly, pulling you in for a deep hug. He holds you so tight against him, rubbing your back as you let the tears of anger and frustration spill from your eyes. “Shh, let's go into the kitchen,” you nod, following him away from the joyous laughter, while you want to scream. Rage.

He lets the door to the kitchen close before issuing the softest kiss to your forehead. “Tell me what he said,” your voice is already flat and hoarse as he hands your phone to you. “He called six times before the text?”

“Well, five times, a text, and then a call again. With a voicemail. He won’t talk to you that way,” Andy’s voice is stern as he glares at your phone. If he could, he’d make Scott disappear forever.

“Scott is going to talk to me however he wants,” you answer nonchalantly. You’ve heard worse, and from him.

“He will not talk to you that way,” Andy repeats himself with a much more agitation in his tone. “I get that he has rights to his daughter,” Andy’s nose flares, and his hand resting on the counter top flexes. His knuckles go white as he tries to calm down. “But he will not talk to my wife that way. We can go about this calmly and like adults, or he can go back to supervised visits.”

“That won’t help anything. So he wants our daughter this weekend. I have to give him that access, and then he brings her back home to us at the end of the day?” Andy nods his head, his arm starting to relax. “Can we make him be consistent with this? Every other Saturday always. She just stopped calling Ransom in the middle of the night.”

“We can keep a record of his involvement. But there’s only so much we can do when it’s court mandated,” you roll your eyes, needing to busy yourself with preparing dinner. “Doe, I’m sorry.”

“And how do you think it’s going to go when he takes Audrey, and not Suede?” it’s the thing that had been bothering Andy the whole time he was waiting on you to wake. “She is even more attached to him than ever before. And what about Suede? I think he’s fully accepted you as his father, but he’ll be taking his sister away. And what if he realizes, that man didn’t want me. Ow!” You drop the knife onto the counter. This is why you shouldn’t cut vegetables when angry.

Andy is so fast to react. He’s by your side in a split second, pulling your hand to the sink, letting cold water run over your finger as he kisses your temple, and you can’t control your tears. “It’s not fair to either one of them. It’d be better off if he gave up rights to both of them. I know this is going to be a shitshow, and you’re — you’re telling me there’s n-n-n-nothing I can do?”

“Unfortunately,” his answer is so somber as he pulls out a drawer that holds a mini first aid kit. “You know I will fight like hell to get all of this resolved legally. And in time, he’ll grow bored of Audrey.”

“At Audrey’s expense,” grow bored of his daughter. How? She is amazing! She’s perfect and growing and changing so much. Scott would rather opt out of the minor hard things because of the inconvenience while also missing out all these small little moments of laughter and love that make it all worth it.

“I know. We have to be patient. If I could do anything, do you not think I would?” He kisses your bandage finger, and looks deep into your eyes. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you or our kids,” Andy emphasizes ‘our’, extending that word to Audrey as well. You’ve never doubted his love and protection towards both your children. You’ve witnessed it. “But we have got to follow the law. We could be held in contempt of court, and that won’t happen. So trust me on this. But I will tell you again, that man will not talk to my wife that way. And I will make it perfectly clear how he will not do that. I don’t want him calling your phone back to back, leaving angry voicemails, or even the texts. One phone call, one voicemail, or one text. And honey, you’ll have to pick up when he calls if you can, okay?”

“Yes, sir,” your face starts softening, and he pulls you in for a bruising kiss. Holding onto your belly as he swirls his hands over your little bump. No wonder you're growing at a faster rate than the previous pregnancies. You’ve got two beautiful babies in there. Beautiful babies that you and Andy created out of the most passionate and sweet love.

“Don’t be cheeky.”

“Yes, sir,” he swats your ass with his free hand before pushing you away from the cutting board. “Dinner!”

“You’re injured. Sit down and watch me or go play with the kids.”

“I do really like watching you,” he rolls his eyes as he smiles, washing his hands to take over dinner prep. “Andy, you know I trust you. This is just the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with, okay?”

“I know,” he responds as you gulp. How did you get so lucky to find this man twice? Two times in your life you got to love him, and he never doubted that you would find each other again. Waited on you because he knew you were the one. He’s better than any man you could have imagined for yourself, but especially for your children.

“Mommy?” Audrey watches you flitter about, packing her a backpack, and you are too cowardly to even tell her why. Choosing to ignore the question in her voice when you slip her iPad mini into her bag. “Mommy, where we going?”

You aren’t sure. Just with her dad. He could take her to his apartment. He could take her to soft play. Maybe to the park. “Is Suede going?” you shake your head no, still unable to fully look at her.

“So is it with Uncle Ann?” Her voice gets so light and excited as she runs to her closet. “He said he was going to take me and to see a movie with Miss Tatum. Can I wear a pretty dress? Make sure to pack my Madeline doll he got me, and a blanket. It gets cold in the theater. Are you and daddy taking Suede somewhere? Uncle Ann said a movie might be too long for him, but he’d take us to soft play with Miss Tatum. I can’t wait.”

“Baby, you’re not going with Uncle Ann.”

“So is this a me and you day?” You shake your head no again, sitting on her princess bed as you rub along the swell of your belly. “I don’t understand.”

“Audi, your dad is going to spend the day with you,” she stares at you a bit confused at the statement.

“But why can’t you and Suede go with us?” The lines of course will be blurred as to who you are referring to. She hadn’t so much as heard from Scott in months, much less seen him. “Mommy?”

“Not your Andy daddy.”

“Oh,” she sits down immediately on the floor as her brows pitch up. Trying to work through her feelings while you just watch her. Giving her some space to figure this out, “But why — why not Suede, too?”

“Umm, your father,” it’s best to differentiate by using that word. Daddy is too sweet of a title for him. A title he never deserved, “He — well, he is going to allow Andy to adopt him.”

“Can Andy adopt me?” There’s a soft smile that tugs at her lip that makes you hurt. You would prefer that Andy adopt Audrey as well.

“No, it’s not that simple.”

“Then how come he gets to adopt Suede?”

“Because your father felt it was in his best interest to not be Suede’s dad,” Andy says in the doorway. You’re thankful that he didn’t leave you to drown on this.

“But I want you to adopt me like Suede. That’s not fair,” her arms cross over her chest and she pouts. “Y-y-y-you said that we do things as a family. And adopting him, and not me, is not being a family. That means I don’t match.”

“What do you mean not match?” You try to keep your tears inside of you. She isn’t wrong, this isn’t fair. It’s confusing. Especially to a child that is intelligent and can piece this puzzle together. Knowing your child she will fixate on this conversation. She’ll come up with a scenario on what’s wrong with her, or what’s wrong with Suede. But the reality is her father is what’s wrong.

“Well, if daddy adopts Suede what will his last name be?”

“Barber,” Andy says stoically. He walks over to Audrey, and kneels down before her.

“And the twins, what is their last name?”

“Barber,” you already know where her brain is going, and it pains you. Scott is beyond selfish, especially where Audrey is concerned.

“And you — your name is already Barber now. So I’m the only Huffman. That is not fair. That is not doing things as a family. And if I go to his house how will I know that Suede is breathing? Y-y-y-you can’t watch him all the time. Where is Suede now? Who is checking on his breathing? I-I-I-I can’t trust you to make sure he doesn’t have an allergic reaction. That that that that is my job as the big sister. And and and and and and,” her cheeks turn ruddy as she tries to catch her breath. The stutter you thought was gone now returning with one mention of her father, and her stress.

Scott deserves to hear these words. He should know the anxiety that he has caused his daughter concerning her brother’s breathing. A worry that she shouldn’t have as a five-year-old.

“Audi, princess, I need you to breathe for daddy, okay?”

“Am I allowed to still call you daddy?”

“I told you, you get to call me whatever it is you want.”

“But my last name isn’t Barber. I don’t like this. I don’t want to go to his house. I want to stay with you. He he he he he didn’t tell me Merry Christmas. He didn’t didn’t didn’t didn’t make sure Suede was okay. And he doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t doesn’t ever tell me he loves me. He never never never never does,” you look towards Andy, begging him without words to not make her go. He never says he loves her. He could not tell you when you were married, but she’s a baby.

“And if if if I’m not here I can’t can’t feel my twins move first. And — it’s not fair! I hate you and I hate him!” Screaming she stands up, and pulls the bag out of your hand, throwing it across the room. “I don’t want to go! Do you not want me?”

“Baby, I want you for always,” you tell her. Struggling to talk yourself. You hate Scott. Hate the emotional turmoil that he has always put your daughter in. “But Scott has a right to see you.”

“Then he should have. But he didn’t. Not even at Christmas. Don’t make me go. No! Mommy is that him? I don’t want to go! Don’t make me,” The doorbell rings, and you watch Suede dart past her bedroom door, followed by Andy who scoops him up before he gets to the stairs. “No no no no, mommy, don’t make me go. What if I miss something here?” Tears trail down her face, and you pull her into your body. Wishing you could change this. A few hours seemed so long. Too long to be away from her family.

“We won’t do anything without you here. We’ll be waiting on you until Scott brings you back later.”

“I don’t have to sleep there?” in a perfect world she wouldn’t even have to go there.

“No, baby. Your father has homework to do before he can keep you overnight. It’s just for a few hours. Okay?”

She nods her head, and pulls away from your embrace, “I don’t hate you.”

“I know you don’t, baby. Come on. Let’s go see your father.”

She grabs onto your hand without a second thought. Holding you almost too tight while you pick up her bag, and walk towards the stairs. Parenting is always going to be hard, but this is a slow torture. It will only be six hours, and yet you feel like you’re going to be without her for an entire year. He’d missed so much, and didn’t even care. Your children were always a leverage to him. You wanted them, and he wanted them to hurt you.

“No!” Suede screams as he shakes his head at Andy. “No, daddy, no. No, ike that!” Andy’s grip on Suede gets tighter as he tries to comfort his son, instead of saying how he knew he didn’t like the man at the door.

“Scott, wanna come in?”

“No,” he answers shortly. Staring off into the distance because he can’t look at his biological son. Andy loathes him. The games he plays at the expense of his children are sick. It’s evil. They are his flesh and blood, and he can be so callous with them.

“Wow,” he says with no enthusiasm as you and Audrey walk into his view. “You sure didn't waste any time, I see. Shocking really. You weren’t supposed to be able to get pregnant. You sure…”

“Yes, the twins are mine. And it was all natural,” you’re not in the mood for a fucking pissing contest. Your first little love is distraught and has mixed emotions, and you were not in the mood for this. You just want to close the door on Scott, and pretend this didn’t happen.

“Audrey, let's go,” he’s so cold. No, ‘hey, I missed you. We’re going to have fun.’ Just let’s go because I lawfully deserve this.

“Do I have to?” She asks, looking up at you.

“Yes, you have to, unless you want your mom in jail. Now, let's go. I’ve got your Christmas presents.”

“Me yoys?” Suede asks, looking at Andy, and you see Scott rolls his eyes at him. Reacting with anger will only make this worse. Audrey needs you to be the strong one, the steady one, the one that she can rely on when her father fails her. “Daddy, me yoys, too?”

“Still can’t talk right,” he wants to piss you off. He wants to be hit. He is provoking both you and ANdy.

“He talks just fine,” Audrey furrows her brows, and steps away from him. “Say you’re sorry.”

“We gotta go. Get out of the house, and let’s get in the car.”

“No!” She stomps her foot, grimacing as she stares at him.

“You need to tell our daughter it’s time to go.”

“And you need to watch how you talk to my wife.”

“Wife?” Scott chuckles, and snaps his fingers at Audrey.

“I am not going with you. Say you’re sorry!”

“I don’t have time for these fucking games. Now get in the goddamn car.”

“Enough!” You scream to everyone in the room. The chaos of the conversation is making your heart race, and your emotions are at their limit. “Scott, you won’t come here disrespecting my home, and my family. That goes for Suede, Andy, and Audrey. She asked you to apologize to her brother.”

Scott hadn’t tried to set foot in the house, leading you to believe that he isn’t going to. He declined the invitation. If this is another one of his games to say he tried to get Audrey, but you refused, you’ll scream. It seems he came here just to start a fight so you would demand he couldn’t take her.

“Audrey is really confused and upset about how things have transpired. You haven’t returned any of her calls or her text messages since her birthday. So you will have to forgive her for her behavior. Everyone here is helping with Suede’s speech, and it’s improved. He speaks in sentences. So you constantly being rude about it doesn’t help. Now everyone, just breathe, and let's do this in a calm manner.”

“You can’t keep her from me.”

“I’m not trying to. I am making sure my daughter feels comfortable when she leaves, and she asked you to right one wrong.”

“I’m her father,” something he’ll never let you forget.

“Then act like it,” you warn him, and give a small squeeze to Audrey’s hand. “Apologize to her brother.”

“Sorry,” Scott gruffs out, and Suede is already playing with Andy’s beard to pay him any mind. “Audrey, let’s go.”

“And do not use foul language in front of her. She’s five, in case you forgot,” Scott only nods his head, holding his hand up for Audrey to take.

“Mommy?” His sorry was pathetic. But you can’t hold her from him. You won’t be the one that didn’t put effort in their relationship.

“I expect you to bring her back here by three o’clock,” Scott nods, wiggling his fingers towards Audrey. “And she has her iPad mini, and some toys. So if you need us, call us. We’ll be there in a second to get her early, or whatever.”

“Three?” You nod your head at Audrey, knowing she’s going to watch her iPad like a hawk now. “You promise to bring me back home?”

“Yes,” Scott answers, annoyed. Why he wanted kids is beyond you. Seeing how he easily can dismiss both of them is appalling.

“Mommy, daddy, Suedey, I love you.”

“Love you, princess,” Andy glares up at Scott as he gives Audrey a hug. A silent warning that he better behave. Scott’s aware of Andy’s influence and power. Andy gives her a chance to hug Suede before she’s reaching for you.

“If you need me, call me, baby.”

“She’s not a baby,” you ignore him. She will always be your baby. Forever will be your baby. And you’ll protect her however you have to. You hope this is the last visit Scott requests. You‘re sure his pride is hit so hard from this, and you pray it’s enough for him to just wipe his hands. Let him live his child free life that he seems to love.

“I will. I’ll call,” she sniffles, and pulls away from you. This is the hardest it’s ever been to let her go. Scott better show her more kindness than he has been. You won’t let him continue to get her. You’ll come up with something. You want her safe, and feel secure in her feelings. Hearing her stutter come back pains you. She is too young to have to deal with these big emotions. It’s too complicated, and she shouldn’t have to try and navigate them. You just hope this is a short visit. Less than the allotted six hours.

You’ll miss her every second she’s away with your phone glued to your hand. She would be okay. She would be okay. And you have to keep reminding yourself until it comes true. She will be okay.

“Has she called Ransom?” Andy hasn’t even got Ransom’s response before you nervously ask again. “Andy?” he looks up from his phone shaking his head. “I’m calling Scott again. He’s thirty minutes late. She is supposed to be Here at three. Andy, what do we do?”

“Audi at?” Suede pouts, stomping his foot. “My Audi at? Oo yie.”

“I did not lie, buddy. She was supposed to be here. Doe,” Andy’s thick fingers rub over his beard as he thinks. “Come on. We’re going to his house, and we’ll go get our girl.”

“Yay! Go to sissy!” Suede sprints towards the garage, and you grab his cup just in case. Ready to start pacing. Scott probably lost track of time. But him not answering his damn phone makes you uneasy. And Audrey hadn’t called anyone from her iPad. This isn’t like her. And something in your gut makes you queasy, and you don’t think it’s the twins.

“He can’t keep her from us. You have the upper hand here.”

“I don’t want to fight about my daughter though. I would be okay if he told me what was going on. But nothing. That, I don’t like,” the two of you walk into the garage, and you can’t help but smile at Suede already in his seat with his straps on, but not buckled. “Let’s go get our princess.”

—

“No! No no! No yike it hewe! No, daddy!”

“We’re not staying, buddy. We’re just getting Audrey,” Suede’s anxious face turns into a fake smile. If there’s one thing you would change about your life it would be leaving Scott before he got caught cheating. You tried to pacify him for too long. Let him get away with playing games with you, and also your children, all because you felt it was the right thing.

“I’ll go get her,” Andy says, leaning over to give you a kiss. You just want to know your daughter is safe, and had fun. You didn’t want to see Scott. Didn’t want to hear him. All you want is her safe with you. Andy could be the diplomatic one, while you’re acting all on emotions due to the pregnancy and the weird urgency you feel to have her in your arms.

He walks up the few steps to the house, a vastly different feeling than the first time he did this. He was supposed to be just bringing your wallet home. He gives the door a knock, and Scott slings it wide open swaying with the swift movement, “What?”

“You missed drop off time.”

“Yeah, well, I went to you to pick her up. Seems fair for you to come here,” he shrugs, doppily he rocks on his feet.

“You okay?”

“You know, Barber, I’m really not okay. My tramp of an ex wife blamed the divorce on me. And yet here she is, married to you, and you fucked a damn bastard in her belly,” Andy growls, glaring at the man. “I didn’t want another child after the fucking mistake of having a second one. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, am I right?” He winks at Andy, and Andy’s anger towards Scott grows. The bastard lied. You weren’t the problem. He was. He got a fucking vasectomy and blamed you for not getting pregnant.

”But you know you ruined everything. I don’t even have someone to carry on my fucking name, and you, you son of a bitch do, and Suede’s not even your fucking mistake. If he wasn’t born, we’d still be together. She changed after him.”

“Audrey! Grab your things, princess, it’s time to go,” Andy wants his daughter, and wants out there. Scott always wants a fight. Low blows. The asshole.

“I’m not finished with you, you prick. I hope you always remember that my wife took me whenever I wanted her. She was a submissive little bitch.”

Andy pulls Scott closer to him by his shirt, getting right into his ear, “You better watch your goddamn mouth when you're speaking about my family. Sober the fuck up. Next time you can’t contain your fucking drinking, call me, and I’ll pick up my daughter. Have I made myself clear?” Andy pushes him off him slightly, but it’s enough to have Scott stumbling backwards before he falls on his ass, and Audrey runs straight to Andy trembling.

Pushing herself tightly against her dad, and he picks her up, letting her wrap her arms around his neck, “Audi, you okay, princess?” He feels her shake her head no, and he continues glaring at Scott who tries to get his wits about him, but instead stumbles again as he tries to stand again. “Taylor here?”

“She left.”

“Slut! She’s such a fucking slut. Spreading her legs for…”

“Audrey, go out to the car, and tell mommy to call the cops, okay?” Her body continues to shake. She might not understand what’s going on with Scott, but she knows it isn’t right.

“Is he in trouble?”

“I just want to make sure someone can babysit him. He looks unwell.”

“He had a bottle with him.”

“Audrey,” he sits the little girl down, and she runs towards the car. As soon as she’s out of eyesight, Andy squats down to Scott, “You done fucked up, you little prick. You carried a bottle around, while you got yourself drunk and my daughter was here with you.”

“My daughter.”

“You’re not even man enough to tell her you’re unwell. All this shit piling up on you Scott, is your fault. Not my wife’s, and certainly not my kids. Drink yourself into oblivion, I don’t care. But not around her.”

“You can keep the stupid one. Oh,” Scott coughs when Andy kicks his side. Not enough to leave a bruise, but enough to get some instant gratification. It takes a very small man to make fun of a child, “He’s not right. He’s nothing but trouble. You’ll see. She’ll always love that kid more than you.”

“See the difference is I know that my kids need her in a different way than I need her. I know that she’ll tend to them because of that need for her. I’m an adult. I don’t need her to feed me, take care of me. I don’t need her. I want her. I cherish her. I worship the ground that she walks on. You had it all. You had the most perfect woman.”

“Pregnancy fucked her body up,” pregnancy made you more desireable to Andy. Your soft curves, the glow on your face, the way you loved being a mom. No wonder Scott went younger. You were the respectable wife, when all he wants is a sex toy with no attachments.

“I think that was you,” Scott’s eyes roll in the back of his head as the lights of a cop car come into view. Just another thing Andy has to deal with, instead of comforting his family. He’ll calmly give a statement. Having a legal document of Scott’s inebriation while in charge of Audrey. “Fuck you, Scott,” Andy groans as he turns to meet the officer. He needs to ease your mind that he’s okay. Let you see that you’re not hurt.

Scott Huffman will regret today. If anything happened to Audrey there would be hell to pay. Supervised visits will be pushed. Incidences like this will not happen again. Scott spiraled and spiraled until he turned to his main vice, alcohol. He’ll regret today. And every day after if he continues to talk about you or the children like that.

“What do you mean she won’t talk to us?” You demand, trying to walk up the stairs to Audrey. “Andy Barber, you let me go see my daughter. Andy! Move, please!”

“She’s asked for Ransom,” you roll your eyes, growling as you try to push past him. “Ransom was going on a date with Miss Tatum.”

“So then I need to see my child,” he’s really getting on your nerves trying to block you.

“And Ransom said that he didn’t mind if she came with them, so he’s on his way here.”

“But that’s my daughter. And she — what happened? What happened? And why did I need to call the police?” You waited for it to be just you and Andy. But you need to know.

“Mama, yook!” Suede holds up a tower of LEGO bricks he built, but you just want to talk with your daughter. You need to hold her, and just show her love and comfort.

“Doe, I think she wants Ransom because you are all emotional,” you huff, trying to skirt past him quickly, but he blocks you again. “I would rather her talk to us. She isn’t physically hurt. She’s upset, and asked for Ransom. Ran is the ADA, and he’ll know the right way to talk to her, and if there’s anything wrong he will call and bring her home. But can you give her this safe space with him?”

You don’t like it, even though Andy is right. She’s willing to talk with Ransom, and getting out of the house and with her teacher could be a good thing. “He’s getting her an hour before picking up Tatum. That way she won’t feel obligated to talk in front of her.”

“Why didn’t she call? She called none of us. Not even Suede. Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”

Andy’s Adam’s apple bobs as he looks from you to the floor. Contemplating if he wanted to tell you at all. It has to be bad, and your mind is going everywhere, and you’re unsure if it’s close. “He was very drunk.”

“Son of a bitch,” Andy pulls you in so tight to his body. Your anger instantly spurring tears. You want Scott to physically hurt as bad as he makes your daughter hurt emotionally. She had to have been so scared and confused. Scott is an angry drunk, and you never would want her to witness that.

“Mama, what ong? Daddy, mama cy?”

“Mama’s okay, buddy. Hey, can you go make me a dragon?” Suede shakes his head no, and pulls at your pants. “Make daddy a really big tower for us to knock down.”

“Chess!” He screams, running back into the family room.

“She wasn’t hurt?” Your voice is so weak. He’ll never see her again if you have anything to say about it. Now you understand the reason for the cops. Andy was documenting that Scott was drunk while Audrey was there. Bastard. The low son of a bitch bastard.

“She wasn’t physically hurt. I think it’s more to deal with her heart. The disappointment runs deep, and she didn’t even want to leave Suede.”

“But my baby,” her sperm donor sucked. You knew he sucked, but this is at an entirely different low than you were expecting. You know Scott drinks, and drank. But to be drunk for the few hours that he got her. And after months of being away. He chose then to subject her to drunken stupidity. And he was always such a sloppy mean drunk. “I hate him so much.”

“But our baby is okay. Let Ransom get her, I’ll put in her seat, and he can try and talk to her. He is her safe space because we’re too emotional. And…”

“Ransom buys her what she wants,” you laugh so weakly as you try and process everything. You knew something was wrong. “And maybe he can find out why she didn’t call. That’s not like Audrey.”

“Andy, you promise that not a hair on her head was hurt while she was there,” you ask as you pull your face off his chest. “I will…”

“Shh, no talking. Just know I had the same exact thoughts. Let’s go see our boy. There’s a baby monitor in Audrey’s room. Here,” you whisper a thanks to him as he pulls you away from the stairs. It isn’t the most ideal thing. But, it’ll do. You hope, pray, and beg that Ransom can find out exactly what happened. And so help you God if Scott drove in the car with her while drunk...

—

“Audi?” Audrey quickly looks out the window, leaving Ransom to only glance at her in the rear view mirror. She’d been fidgeting the moment she got in the car, but never said anything. “Audrey, you want to talk about what happened?”

“I would really like a dog,” Ransom glances back at her again and she’s looking directly at him. “I know mommy has two babies in her belly, but I would like a dog. A bigger one. One that can be my protector.”

“Do you feel you need protection?” Words are important. Kids say a lot even when they’re not saying the thing you think you’ll hear. Audrey mentioning a dog for protection says a lot.

“Suede isn’t allergic to dogs. I asked mommy again. I don’t want a mean dog, just one that loves me.”

“Audrey.”

“If you buy me a dog — I will talk,” of course she would mention something such as this, leaving Ransom unable to say no. She plays him more than Suede does. She knows just how wrapped he is.

“You want our date to be at the dog shelter?” Audrey smiles, but only briefly, and nods her head. “Audrey, you want to tell me what happened?”

“I don’t like him,” she answers, crossing her arms across her chest. “He’s mean to my mommy, and — Andy daddy. And he says mean things about Suede,” her brows furrow, showing so much more her age than her size. A little girl who has been through too much in too short of a time. “He was drinking from a square bottle. And Taylor and him started screaming at each other. She told him he was stupid, and he said that he never wanted…”

Audrey’s words stop abruptly, and her face scours up. “If I say it will you be mad?”

“No, baby, I won’t be mad at you for telling the truth.”

“He said he never wanted any fucking kids. He just wanted to make sure my mommy didn’t leave,” she wipes her cheeks off, while Ransom turns into a shopping center. Pulling the car over, and parking before he crawls in the back seat of the car, and letting her out of her seat. The tiny little girl crawls into his lap, wrapping her arms around him.

“What does that mean?”

“It means he doesn’t deserve you, and never deserved your mom.”

“He threw my iPad, and it’s broke, and I couldn’t call anyone,” her tears soak his neck, and he starts rocking her back and forth. Thinking of ways that he could end Scott, even if he has to hire someone. Prick of a man that wants to treat anyone ‘smaller’ than him like that. And his own daughter. Ransom would murder someone to protect your children.

“I hate him so much. He’s so mean. Don’t make me go back there ever again. I can’t. I don’t want to leave my brother, and what if Andy gets to feel the babies move first? I hate him so much.”

The need for her to have a protective dog makes so much sense. But it’s not even that, she needs someone to read her own moods. You have a fear that her anxiety is going to manifest into something stronger. Depression in children is far too common now. Her perfectionist nature already is starting to cause outbursts of frustration. And she’s five! With too much responsibility that her father bestowed upon her.

“Audrey, you know we all love you, princess. And your Andy daddy, mommy, and me, we are going to do everything in our power to make sure you are safe and loved, and with your mommy,” it is in everyone’s best interest that Audrey stay with you. Scott was the scum of the earth. Admitting that he didn’t want children, in front of his golden child…

The man had clearly spiraled after not getting his way. Even at work. His good fortune had run out. And either legally he would be kept from Audrey, or Ransom would have to deal with things his family’s way.

Audrey leans back, sniffling, but smiles up at Ransom. Appearing fine, and okay now, but he knows better. Audrey has a tendency to make sure others are okay, even at the expense of herself. “Can Miss Tatum help me pick out a dog?”

“Yes, princess. I think Miss Tatum would love to help look at the dogs. Are you hungry?” She shrugs, crawling out of his lap and into her seat. “We’ll get Tatum, and have us a small lunch, and head to the shelter, okay?”

“If I have a dog, does that mean I can’t go to — dad’s house?” She looks down at her lap, pulling on her straps, and buckling herself in. “I can’t leave the dog alone, and dad doesn’t like dogs.”

“Yeah, I think that’s possible,” it’s possible for Scott to have his balls ripped off his body.

“And you won’t tell mommy I said that word?”

“No, your secret is safe with me. Does he say that word a lot?”

“He says lots of words when he drinks out of the square bottle. He’s not nice. And I don’t like how mean he is to Suede and mommy. I think he hates daddy, too. He calls him — a, um…a goddamn prick.”

Scott keeps on ticking more and more reasons to hate him. No fear. He will be dealt with. And for Scott’s sake, he better hope the courts deal with him first. “Come on, let’s get Tatum, lunch, and a dog.”

“I want a girl. And she’s my dog, okay?”

“Yes, I think Suede is too little. And I think we need to go to the Apple Store,” Audrey smiles at Ransom as he makes his way to the front seat. “Now, I know that Suede has the mini, but he’s just so little. You’re really into drawing now?” She nods her head, and reaches over for the Madeleine doll she brought for the trip. Giving the little stuffed girl a hug. “I think we should get you something bigger, and a pencil. But this isn’t something for you to tease Suede with okay?”

“Uncle Ann?”

“Hmm?”

“I like that idea, but I don’t want something Suede can’t have. I’ll just take a mini, since I’m getting a dog,” the kindness this little girl has in her pinky is more than most have in the entire world. She is too soft, and deserved to stay that way.

“Okay, princess.”

“And maybe text daddy. He’ll let mommy know about the dog.”

“Good idea,” Andy could ease you into the idea. It isn’t a conversation you as a family haven’t had. You liked the idea of a dog. Your kids have so much space out here it just makes sense.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy

Audrey groans softly as she opens her eyes. Leaning over her brother, she keeps her face close to his, until she feels his breath brush over her skin. The little girl lays a hand on his stomach, counting his breaths before she rolls to the other side. Panting with how long she had held her own breath. Another bad dream. A dream of her brother not breathing.

Her fingers reach toward her iPad Mini before she drops her back on the bed. She leans over to check the floor for monsters before reaching towards the iPad again. Deciding it’s best to keep her hands safe under the covers while she stares longingly at the tablet. Daring herself to either be brave enough to walk out of this bedroom to get her mommy or brave enough to just pick up the iPad.

—

Ransom’s hands cling to the bed as he hoists his hips back into the girl. She was good enough to fuck, but would never be good enough to have a decent conversation with. It beat spending another holiday alone. He drives his hips deeper into her before he looks towards the bedside table. His phone lighting up with the cutest little picture of the sweetest little girl. A smile spreads over his face, until he realizes the time.

Scrabbling off her, despite her protests he picks up the phone, and walks himself into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He answers the call quickly, trying to catch his breath, “Audi, baby, what are you doing awake?”

“I had a bad dream,” her voice sounds as wrecked as a five year old’s voice could. Deep circles pocket under her eyes with her lack of sleep since her party.

“The same one about Suede?” She nods her head, and Ransom could barely see it in the dark room. He sighs, “Have you told your parents?”

“Daddy won’t call me,” his head leans back as he looks up at the ceiling. Scrounging around for some pants to put on, and get this girl the hell out of his house. He’d buy a fucking airplane ticket to Michigan if he had to. He wasn’t supposed to like kids. But now he’s invested, and he wants to kick Scott Huffman’s ass. In court. Legally of course.

“What about your mom and Andy?” Audrey shrugs, looking down. Her eyes open up quickly, trying to avoid falling asleep.

“I don’t want to bother them,” so instead she calls Ransom in the middle of the night, and stays on call with him until she feels comfortable enough to fall back asleep, “Mommy got in a fight with aunt Morgan. She had to take her outside.”

“I’m sure your mom gave her a mouthful,” Audrey shrugs, looking behind her at her brother before flipping to her back. “You’re sharing a bed with your brother?”

“Uh huh. I sneak into his bedroom sometimes to make sure he’s breathing. But uncle Ryan’s bed isn’t like my princess bed. It’s lumpy and smells like a boy.”

“Sweetheart, we really need to tell your mom and Andy about your nighttime habits. I can’t help you like they can,” she sighs, and holds her hand over her brother’s mouth the same way she’s seen you do. Counting his breaths again before he offers a pitiful smile, “Is he breathing?”

“Yeah-huh. Do you think I’ll become a lawyer one day?” One thing about a five year old, they can change the subjects of conversation quickly.

“I think if that’s what you really want, yeah. You’ve got the best people in the world to help you,” but what every adult in her life wants her to do is to be a damn kid. But the one adult she wanted attention from, she wasn’t getting it. So now becoming a lawyer is the most important thing.

“Daddy won’t help me though,” she looks off to the side before back at the screen, “Did I do something wrong?” he starts taking a mental stock of every time that he wants to punch Scott on Audrey’s behalf. He’ll behave and start at one.

“No, Audi, you did nothing wrong. I think your daddy is still very scared about what happened.”

“What about me?” He barely can the tears start to well in her eyes, but the break in her voice is enough. “I’m scared, too.” That deserves at least one hundred punches.

“I know. And your daddy is a big man that should know better. We adults suck, you know?” She nods her head, trying to give him a smile. “Well, what else have you done since being there?”

“Me and mommy had a mani/pedi. My fingernails are pink,” her voice starts to get more animated, and she giggles. Holding a hand over her mouth, trying to quiet it. “And I got glitter on them. My dad — Andy said that they look just like a princess.”

“Youd,” the little toddler groans beside his sister. A kid that needed his sleep.

“Suede, buddy, are we being too loud?”

“Chess. Me seep. Oo youd,” Ransom gives a smile to the little boy that flops over to the other side. His body wiggles a bit, until the blanket is nearly over his face, but he wouldn’t be asleep for long. If Audrey was with Suede when she called Ransom, this is always the routine.

“I think my giggles woke him up.”

“I’m sure they did. Are you going to buy me a Christmas present while you’re there?” She smiles, nodding her head. “It’s going to be bigger than the plane, isn’t it?”

—

Andy pets around your belly, while you’re in the middle of dozing off, and staying awake to keep feeling him. He isn’t even snuggling you as much as he’s cradling your stomach. “Doe, it’s late, go to sleep, honey.”

“I’m enjoying you,” enjoying feeling more loved and worshiped than you’ve ever felt. Elated that you are the one giving Andy the family he’s craved. No one would ever love you like Andy, and no one would love Andy like you.

“You’re going to continue to enjoy me for many months. Go to sleep,” your eyes droop down for a bit longer, and you take comfort in his warmth. His protective hold over you and the unborn child in your belly. He’d proven more times than not his protection extended to Audrey and Suede as well.

It’s like everything is finally fitting in a pretty little puzzle. Just the way that you have always wanted it. You start to drift, until you hear the sweetest little giggle, “Andy?”

“Shh,” you think you’re falling asleep again before you hear two cute little giggles. “Is that?”

“What are those two up,” you sit up in the bed, but Andy playfully pushes you back on the bed. “Excuse you.”

“Let me go check on them,” he is not serious. If it wasn’t for his playful smile, you’d have already stubbed up.

“No,” you stubbornly answer, sitting back up again, and slinging your feet off the side of the bed. “If they’re giggling that means they’re having fun. And it’s vacation, so if they’re having fun, I want to join in with them,” grinning wildly, he stands up, extending a hand towards you, and you tiptoe out of your childhood bedroom, and walk towards Ryan’s.

It isn’t until you get closer that you hear a man’s voice. Not just any man either. But the endearing part is it’s a little conversation with all three of them. You could stand and listen to them having their moment. Their safe space. You open the door, and are followed by Andy. “Hey, mommy.”

“Hi, mama. Uck Ann, my mama and daddy!”

“Hey, Andy. Hey, Doe. Don’t be mad. I, uh, I called them because I couldn’t sleep,” you get closer to the mini, and frown at him. He didn’t call. He is doing a great job of keeping the camera higher, but he was topless. So the question then becomes, why did Audrey call?

“Did they pull you away from an — engagement?” You ask with a smirk.

“Nothing important. Audi?” you look towards your daughter before glancing behind you at Andy.

“I have nightmares, and call Uncle Ann. He doesn’t care. He just gets me to laugh, and I fall back to sleep,” your daughter has nightmares, and she doesn’t seek you out. She finds someone else. You don’t want to cause a scene right now in the middle of the night, but you want to know what she’s dreaming about. And while you’re happy that she feels comfort from Ransom, it hurts that she didn’t try and find it with you.

“I’m glad you could find someone to talk to,” Andy says, walking behind you, and his arm wraps around your waist. His hand resting on your barely swollen belly. “Ran, are they bothering you?”

“Nah. They’re just giggle boxes right now. Suede was asleep,” was. So the call woke him up. “Audi says that you’re buying me an airplane for Christmas.”

“Nu-uh, you said that my gift was going to be bigger than the airplane, I didn’t say that about yours. Mommy his nose is getting bigger,” the true joy you see in her eyes, melts your heart. Despite all that she’s been through, and is still going through, she has managed to keep her beautiful smile. Even the sweet little bantering between her and Ransom. But you’re still jealous.

“Did he now? Ran, I don’t know if we can do that.”

“Chess. Big big ruck!”

“A truck?” Ransom snarls.

“Chess! Big um!” Ransom’s nose crinkles as he tries to tell Suede he would not be driving a truck. “Chess!”

“Shh, buddy,” Andy blurts in. Audrey keeps moving the iPad to point at whoever is talking, and she lets that mini tablet capture Andy’s awkward hold on your stomach, while he addresses the kids, “We should really let Ransom get back to his — plans, and get back to sleep.”

“The plan has already left,” he smiles, hoping that Andy sees his eyes flicking down to see his hold on you. He knew that his partner wouldn’t be able to stop touching you once you got pregnant. If he liked Scott, he’d pity him. Andy will now have this innate need to protect you and the kids even more. People have yet to see how ruthless Andy can be for his family. “It’s not a big deal.”

“And then, we’re going to sneak into the kitchen for hot chocolate, and Audi and Suedey are going to come into the bedroom with us for a Christmas movie,” both kids get excited, wiggling around, but Ransom sticks his tongue out at Andy. Is he now jealous that you're taking time away from him? Did you just find a trustworthy babysitter? “And when we get back, we’ll make sure to invite Ransom and ’a plan’ to have a Christmas dinner and movie at home, okay?”

“I can live with that. But there’s only one ‘plan’ that I would take to your house, and meet the kids. And her name starts with a Tay and ends in a Tum,” Audrey turns the iPad to look at him, questioningly, and gasps, “Bye, cuties. I look forward to hearing everything that has happened while you’ve been gone, and movie night. Yay!” The video ends abruptly, and Audrey looks up at you and Andy with her brows furrowed.

“He doesn’t have plans with Miss Tatum yet.”

“Yet?” You ask her, and she puts both hands on her hips as she gets out of the bed with her princess nightgown, followed by Suede. “What do you mean yet?”

“He told me that he would do a book read in class for Christmas. That is his plans with Miss Tatum,” oh she sounds grumpy. First crushes are hard, especially when this crush could never happen.

“I’m sure he just misspoke, baby. Come on. Andy makes the best hot chocolate you’ve ever had, okay?” Suede is already sassy walking towards Andy with his arms outstretched for him. “You need to wipe that moody look off your face.”

“Why would Uncle Ann bring Miss Tatum to our house?” She stomps her foot. Sass you expect from Suede, but never her. She’s entitled every now and then of course. But it’s extremely out of character.

“The bigger question is why Uncle Ann even said that,” Andy mumbles, starting to walk out the door with Suede.

Kneeling down, you look at Audrey’s sweet face. Brushing some baby hairs back, “Would it bother you if he did?”

“Well, if he did, would that mean I can’t sit in his lap?” Oh no. “I don’t want her to sit too close to him.”

“Why not?” You don’t want to giggle at this. But you wonder if she’s going to tell you why she doesn’t want Miss Tatum close to Ransom.

“I am his girl,” there it is. “Not Miss Tatum. His only plan is to read a book in class. And I get to sit in his lap.”

“You’re right, baby. And in the daylight, we’ll make sure to tell Ransom not to be telling fibs, okay?” She gives you a single nod, and almost marches towards the bedroom door. Little girls' first crushes usually are someone that is kind to them. But having your five year old be jealous of her teacher is not something you were able to be prepared for.

But you didn’t want to think about it. You want hot chocolate with your family. You want to snuggle up all in the bed together. You want to stare at Andy as he watches over all of you. Watch Suede starfish out as much as he can, while Audrey tries to touch every person in the bed in some way. She just didn’t know she would also be touching another member of the family.

“Suedey, go potty before we take sissy to school,” Suede may blow out a puff of air, staring up at the ceiling, but he also bops off to his and Audrey’s shared bathroom, and you turn to look at Andy looming in the doorway. “What?” You ask, standing up, and going to check on Audrey.

“If you’re that nervous about a babysitter, we can take Suede with us,” you shake your head no as you walk up to him. Giving him a chaste kiss. “You’re not nervous about a babysitter?”

“What’s there to be nervous about? You’re going to be with me. And she is going to be at the office so Sloane and Ransom can make sure that our baby is being taken care of. Do you think that making her watch him at your office was the best idea?” Of course he doesn’t care. Andy said that’s what was going to happen, and that’s just how it was going to be. Suede was at the office enough to know his space. Know that under Sloane’s desk was an okay spot. Know that if Ransom didn’t have a client, he could be in there with him. But more importantly, the sitter couldn’t be alone with Chris.

“If it means that his mama can be at ease at her doctor’s appointment then yes,” you give him a little kiss, heading towards Audrey’s room. She needed to wrap a present for Miss Tatum by herself. You peek your head into her beautiful princess room. She never asked for anything, but she wanted the giant pink canopy bed, and Andy made sure that she had gotten it. It’s still one of her prized possessions.

“Do you think this is pretty enough?” Her nose crinkles up as she turns the wrapped gift around. It wasn’t the best. “It’s not very pretty like yours.”

“I think it’s beautiful. And I think Miss Tatum will love it,” she sighs, looking up at you as you join her at her tea table. “What is it?”

“Can I just stay with Uncle Ann?” You shake your head no. “Why not? Suede gets to.”

“And mommy gets a little bit scared when Suede isn’t with her,” she crosses her arms over her chest, looking towards her bed. The very bed that she asks you to help her make every morning so she can pile her stuffed animals on it.

“I get scared when he’s not with me, too.”

“I know you do, baby. We’ll have to slowly start trusting other people with him. But your job as a five year old is to go to school. Have fun with your friends, and other classmates. And tonight we’re decorating the gingerbread houses. And it won’t be long until Christmas. And,” she pushes her chair out from the table. Brushing down her jumper she grabs her school cardigan from her bed, and brings it to you. “Are you mad?”

“No,” her voice is a bit short as you put the cardigan on her though. “Can dad — daddy make hot chocolate tonight, too?”

“Yes, he can,” you’re proud of her for trying to figure out the most comfortable name to call Andy. It changed constantly. Sometimes Andy still popped out, but recently it seemed to go between dad and daddy.

“Can Uncle Ann make gingerbread houses with us?”

“We can ask him,” if he wasn’t busy that man would probably buy all the gingerbread house kits he can find and show up. He never can tell Audrey no.

“And he can’t invite Miss Tatum, okay?”

“Okay,” she holds out a pinky towards you, “I pinky promise Uncle Ann won’t invite Miss Tatum tonight for gingerbread houses,” you aren’t sure what Ransom’s plans are with the teacher. If he’s going to read in Audrey’s classes for brownie points, or if he truly enjoys it. You didn’t know, and you didn’t want to know. Ransom’s private life was his.

“I’m ready to go to school now!” All worries are washed away as your sweet girl jumps up from the pinky promise with a smile. The joys of being a five year old. She had deep feelings, but she still had her many joys in life. And you still had many annoyances with trying to get in touch with her father.

Fuck Scott for ever acting like he wanted full custody of your children. He has missed three weeks with them. Three weeks of not seeing their faces, or hearing their voices. Three weeks of not asking how his son was doing, but how his daughter was feeling! Three weeks without your children sounds like a lifetime.

This is the difference between you and Scott. You wanted him to spend time with his children, even if it meant more time away from you. You wanted them to have a relationship with their father. You wanted him to step up for Suede. You wanted him to treat Audrey like the little girl that she is. And all he cared about was trying to get one over on you.

He used custody as a weapon against you. He wanted you to suffer because he needed you to pay for his transgressions. These three weeks away from their dad, without any word, showed you that he didn’t even truly care about either of them. It makes you sick to your stomach that he can so callously walk away from his flesh and blood. When a man who didn’t even have kids wanted to call them every night. It is Ransom who Audrey turns to with her nightmares, not her own father. Or you. You still haven’t got over that.

“Alright everyone!” Andy shouts from the bottom of the stairs. “The train needs to head out of the station,” Audrey gives you a little giggle as she grabs her gift for Miss Tatum. It’s a bit early, but she has been excited to give it to her. And now, to check on the little Barber bean in your belly. After you get both kids situated.

Taking a deep breath, you look around you and know no matter what this baby will be loved and cared for. Andy would never let three weeks go by without needing to see or hear from Audrey and Suede, and now another one. Andy didn’t even like the weekends the kids were gone. It’s why he implemented naked Saturdays. Saying seeing your tits was the only way he didn’t feel like something was missing.

He wanted to talk to them when they were with Scott. Needed to hear their voices, and see their little faces. And the man that wanted a third child with you could go three weeks with nothing. He claimed your lack of providing him with a third child was one of the reasons that he cheated. That your behavior after Suede made him fall out of love with you. Pig. Of all the ways he’s flawed, when it comes to being a father, it’s his biggest downfall.

“So,” your doctor begins as he roots around for the baby. Of course the pregnancy test was positive. You’d tested enough without Andy’s knowledge just to be sure. Nearly a daily reminder to prove you weren’t dreaming, you were pregnant. You couldn’t get over seeing the two pink lines, the word pregnant, and whatever colorful array of tests that said you were pregnant. “How far along do we think we are?”

“She’s probably about two and half months,” leave it to your fiance to know roughly the length at which you’re pregnant. He knew these things. He’d been paying attention when you were trying to ignore what your body was telling you. You couldn’t get pregnant. It’s what your old doctor told you. Andy agreed with you, he didn’t want you to see that doctor. Except the petty part of him wanted to go back just to say, ‘You were wrong.’

“Well,” he says looking at the monitor, and you grip Andy’s hand tighter. He squints his eyes, and then looks towards you. And then looks back at the monitor. There is no denying what you see. It’s clear as day, right there, “Umm…”

“The baby is okay?” Andy asks, looking at the monitor, and slightly shaking his head with confusion. He didn’t see anything. Nothing but blobs.

“Is there two?” you screech. Andy’s grip on your hand now matches your own when the doctor nods. “But they’re in different sacs,” you’ve been here before, you know what sacs are. Know the what two means. They’re not identical. You could have a boy and a girl! You could have two boys, or two girls.

“Not just different sacs.”

“I really do not see two. What…oh,” you’re so thankful to be looking at Andy when the Doppler picks up the heartbeats. His face immediately changes at the sound. He looks so calm hearing a steady heartbeat, and a less loud one in the background. His eyes go misty as he leans to kiss your temple without removing his sight from the monitor, “Can we talk about what’s happening. That’s their heartbeat?”

“Yes, Mr. Barber. But…you were told you couldn’t have any more children?” Maybe you should make an appointment to see the doctor, after the babies are born.

“Yeah.”

“You weren’t given a true explanation as to why?” You shake your head no. It was complicated. He said there were several factors at play. Your uterus was shaped wrong. There was scaring. You were old. You may have PCOS. “I mean there’s some scarring, you said that your son’s birth was difficult?” You nod your head. A ball of anger starts forming in your gut, and you’re not sure why. “Hmm,” that’s all he says. Hmm.

“What does that mean?” You ask, starting to get agitated. Your uterus has always been a big conversation with some people, and clearly it works just fine. But your uterus, your business. Now you just have mixed emotions. Would it not be for the two beautiful beans growing in you now, you might be raging.

“I mean it would have made conceiving difficult, but not impossible with viable sperm,” you snort. “I did not make a comment about your ex’s sperm. Here’s the biggest issue we currently have,” you didn’t like the sound of that as he starts to clean up. You kind of liked seeing and hearing the babies. It gives you calmness while talking about something you hate. Even though you’re struggling to wrap your head around babies. Two.

“Is there actually three?” Poor Andy is in shock, and not saying anything, he just stares at the now blank monitor.

“No,” the doctor answers shortly. He rolls his chair away from you, and picks up your file. “Baby B seems to be growing a bit slower pace, or…”

“Baby B was conceived after Baby A?” You ask, and he nods his head. He wipes his brows as he looks towards you, “What are you suggesting?”

“This isn’t uncommon mind you. I know you said your periods were irregular, and there is the scarring. There’s a few concerns. You’re older, you’re starting off at a disadvantage. Multiples are high risk anyways. I want you to take things easy. There will most likely come a time you will be on bed rest if you want healthy babies, and I’m assuming that you do. I will not sugar coat this. The babies can be fine, but stress…”

You hear what he’s saying without saying it. Stress. You’re a mother of two, you’re going through a divorce with an asshat, your baby daddy won’t call his kids, you have emergency sole custody of Suede, now you’re finding out that you’re having twins and one is possibly much younger than the other. Stress is no big thing. Completely stress free life here.

“I get it. Stress is next to impossible. But I need this to be a very valiant effort. But both babies have a great heartbeat. Both are growing well, despite Baby B at a bit of a disadvantage. And I’m going to urge you to think about this being the last pregnancy,” you nod without question. Two more babies is more than enough. You’ll get fixed, Andy could, you didn’t care. You didn’t need another.

Now onto more things. Divorce finalized, and custody dealt with.

“We need to keep the pregnancy as much from Scott as possible,” you didn’t care if Scott knew or didn’t know. It didn’t matter either way.

“Is there a reason why?” Andy’s hand on your thigh squeezes you slightly. “So what are you not telling me?”

“We need the divorce finalized before you start showing,” you would have liked the divorce finalized a month ago. “Umm, he could contest the pregnancy.”

“Excuse me?” There is no contesting. The twins were yours and Andy’s. He can’t force you to do shit.

“Legally you’re married to him.”

“And physically I’m with you. The doctor said no stress, but this is stressing me out. Can you just spill it?” He’s trying to protect you. But in terms of your children, you didn’t care right now.

“He’s enough of an asshole that if he found out that you are pregnant, he would demand a DNA test while you’re pregnant. He’ll want me to be legitimized to be a dick,” you’re still not fully understanding. “Legally those are his children. Our twins.”

“No,” tears prickle your eyes. Not tears of sadness, but pure rage. “No. No, they are our babies.”

“Legally they are his. I don’t doubt what a DNA test would say about either baby. But if we can avoid that it would be more ideal,” Scott would be the asshole that would make a mockery of yours and Andy’s relationship. “We shouldn’t tell the kids until after the divorce. Not that he is calling to see or talk to either, but still.”

“Why is he not calling her back? I’m getting tired of lying to my baby. But I won’t have us speak ill of Scott, she’ll figure it out all on her own. But she’s a confused child right now. Can — is there anything legally I can do?” So many thoughts and question run through your mind. Scott could contest the pregnancy. He could say whatever he wanted in court to put doubt in a judge’s mind. He could say infidelity happened.

“It can be brought up during the custody hearing. I just don’t know if it’ll make a difference. Scott knew he screwed up, and he’s continuing to screw up and doesn’t know how to stop it. They’ll be fine,” you aren’t worried about Suede, he doesn’t even talk about Scott. He is young enough to accept the man with him daily is his dad.

“So we can’t say anything to the kids, we need to keep the pregnancy on the downlow, I’m currently at risk and need to have no stress while my stress is piling up. Andy, I just want to be divorced. I’ll give you whatever type of wedding you want, but I want divorced, and I just want to be your wife. I want you to have custody of Audrey and Suede in case something happens,” his hand tightens on your thigh again. “I need to know that if anything happens to me their dad will take care of them, not their father. This is the responsible part of being adults; thinking about the hard stuff.”

“I know. And we’ll do whatever we have to. Just promise me that you’ll keep the babies safe,” that isn’t something that needs to be discussed, it just is what you will do. What you’ll do for your family. You want Christmas to be a pleasant one. You want Scott to put his big boy pants on, and you want him to be a fucking adult for once.

Uncontested little prick. Andy knew that Scott was operating on a low moral scale, but contacting Ray to just inform him that he would sign divorce papers uncontested was something Andy couldn’t predict. He knew that you had the ammunition to smear him and his good name. He agreed to the terms of child support. Agreed to you having full custody, but wanted to go back to every other weekend with Audrey. Just Audrey.

Your eyes glazed over as Ray told you all this information. Hitting you like a blast of cold wind when he got to the end. It’s not that you want Scott to have Suede, it's the fact he could easily throw him away. You should have known. You allowed your son to be around him for too long.

It’s bittersweet hearing your ex wanted to sign away his rights. The one thing that was never mentioned was alimony. Ray advised you to proceed with getting some money, but you didn’t fucking care. You’d be marrying Andy anyways, and wouldn’t receive it. Scott folded over under pressure.

You know that Andy is wanting you to do something more by his pacing around the house tonight. He doesn’t like you’re not getting alimony. He doesn’t like that he wants Audrey, and not Suede. He doesn’t like that you aren’t doing more. “You know I just want to make sure they're safe.”

“You have the power to do that,” he answers with a bit of anger in his voice. “You should get alimony for putting up with that prick. I don’t know why you’re agreeing to his terms. You’re making it too easy for him.”

“Or I’m thinking of how this speeds things up. Scott wants to sign away all of his rights for Suede, giving you the ability to adopt him. I don’t need alimony when I want to immediately marry you, and it’ll go away anyways. Do you see him having children with anyone else?” Andy sighs. “I actually wonder if the asshole got snipped, and he’s the reason I couldn’t get pregnant. He just made me believe I was the issue in the family,” you heard the doctor loud and clear. It’s stuck in your head. Something you can’t prove, and won’t try, but it’s made you wonder if all this time it was always Scott.

Andy sits down at the bar, while you stuff a loaf of sourdough back in the oven. His fingers make odd circles on the counter. “You think I’m making a mistake?”

“I think you’re thinking too rationally, and in the end it makes sense. But I also want him to pay,” you just want him to disappear. “Has he even called you? Asked about his golden child?”

“No,” you answer shortly. Circling around the counter, you lean against Andy, letting him cup your belly. He gives you a kiss to your temple, holding his mouth there while you listen to your babies giggling and laughing in the playroom. “He’s a coward, and probably won’t do anything until after Christmas anyways. I still have full custody. You heard Ray, I get the say so on holidays. It’s because he doesn’t want her to cramp his style.”

“He’s a damn sperm donor. I don’t see how he just kept spiraling,” plain and simple, he wanted to own you. He was realizing he couldn’t, and then he made a grave mistake with Suede, and his reputation was put on the line.

“Well, according to Sloane, his ego has been hit,” Andy’s brow cocks up as he looks at you questioningly. Sloane always gets the best gossip in the courthouse. “Taylor, well, she has this thing with fucking men that don’t belong to her.”

“What?” He smiles, getting excited to learn that Scott was the one cheated on.

“She’s cute. And doesn’t have a job. He was working late, and she found her a young man to fuck in Scott’s bed,” you don’t want to rejoice at his bad luck. But it does serve him right. “She was too young for him, and lets be honest, she doesn’t need kids right now.”

“So where does that leave them?”

“Well, she did show up at his office, and told him it would never happen again,” Andy snorts, and rubs on your belly. He couldn’t feel anything, and neither could you. But the bump is becoming more noticeable. Clothes are struggling to hide the babies growing there. “So it seems that she’s back at the house with him. But it’s not about love, it’ll be about finding someone with more money.”

“But he knows that she doesn’t have a problem with cheating,” you shrug. You didn’t care anymore. She was Scott’s problem. Maybe if he wasn’t so concerned with parenting an adult, he might be better a parent to his daughter. “I just can’t sit and think about him giving Suede up.”

“I know. And I’m both amazed, and pissed off that you can do that,” you know it bothers him. But Scott fighting for Suede would be worse. It’s like he knew deep down he could not give Suede the care that he needed for health reasons. He didn’t want that responsibility, and you would always be there over his shoulder with him. “Are you angry with me for thinking you’re crazy?”

“No. Because you’re looking at this as being Suede’s dad. You can’t fathom why a man would give up their rights to their child. Could throw him away without thinking about it. You’re thinking like someone that loves Suede, because you do.”

“I also think he’s giving you what you want,” he definitely was. He knew that it would be hard for you to let things go back to how they were with Suede. It’s possible you could have enforced monitored visitation for Suede’s safety.

“And I don’t care about his reasons. I am done trying to figure out Scott Huffman. I’m done trying to appease him. I can’t think about if this is a grand scheme of anything because I know that our son will be safer without him in the picture, and Suede Barber sounds nice.”

Andy gives a sighing chuckle as you start to get off him. “I like the way that sounds. So what do you think the babies are?”

“Healthy,” you already have one of each, so it doesn't really matter. You wanted healthy babies.

“And how is Christmas going again?” Neither of you have family in the area, so it will be Christmas at home with the kids in the morning. Just you and your little family.

“Uncle Ann is coming by for Christmas brunch, and,” you walk backwards away from Andy with a smile. Going to check on the bread.

“And? You’re being very coy and secretive,” he pulls you into him, pressing himself up against you in a not so innocent way. But the kids can be heard, and they aren’t anywhere near you. “Doe?”

“Miss Tatum couldn’t get a flight back home, and she’s alone, so she’s coming here,” Andy looks at you confused, and it’s so sweet how clueless he can be. “Ransom has a crush on her.”

“And Audrey has a crush on Ransom.”

“A bit of an oversight, but it can never happen. Ransom can, however, date this cute little teacher at Audrey’s school. He goes there to read books,” Andy shakes his head no. Oh, he really is clueless. “He’s been there three times. Once was to read How the Grinch Stole Christmas.”

“Ransom Drysdale went to a Pre-K class to read books for what reason?”

“Andy!” He is so dense right now. “He is trying to impress Miss Tatum. He wants to see her, and how else would he see her?”

“She’s a teacher,” he reminds you. Rolling your eyes you take out the Dutch oven, and smile at him. “I don’t think I’m following.”

“He wants to see her, and impress her, so he goes to her classroom, and shows that he can deal with sticky hands. And he wants to make it clear that you’re not his partner,” Andy’s face goes flat as he stares at you.

”I shouldn’t have told you that,” giggling, you pull him into you.

“I’m really glad that you did. You and Ransom make a very handsome couple,” he leans to the side, blowing a raspberry on your neck. “Make sure to invite me to the wedding.”

“Is dinner ready? I’m getting tired of your attitude. I think I should punish you later,” emphasizing his baseless threat with a swat to your bum, “Audi, Sued, dinner is ready!”

“No, it’s not!”

“You little,” playfully he grits his teeth, and nibbles on your neck. His hands squeezing your ass as Suede runs in, giving Andy’s finger a pinch. “Suedey!”

“Dada, no, my mama! Mama! Mama!”

“Come here, buddy,” you’re able to snake out of Andy’s arms, and pull your baby up, getting a stern look from Andy. “Do not tell me not to pick my son up.”

“I just want…”

“Picking up my children was not on my list of don’t’s. And I will hold them, and if I’m told I can’t, we’ll deal with that then, okay?” He gives you a nod. You know he worries about you, about the babies. He’ll help out how he can, you know that. But not being able to pick up your kids just isn’t an option for you. You need them.

“Is dinner really not ready,” he pouts at you, leaning in to give both you and Suede a kiss.

“It is. And, you know what tomorrow is!”

“SANA! Uck Ann. Peesants and baby,” his legs wiggle around, and you stare at Andy with your mouth gaping. What was that last part? You can’t bring it to Suede’s attention, or he could go blabbing to everyone else.

“You told Suede Ransom was going to be here?” Andy focuses on that part more than ‘baby’ being said.

“Uck Ann. Chess. Me yike Uck Ann. Dow, mama. Dow der,” you put him down, and take a long breath. Saying a silent prayer that Scott could find it in his heart to call his daughter. If you didn’t have Andy in Suede’s life, you would feel like a failure to him. He has someone. But how Scott could ever throw a little precious boy like Suede away is shocking to you.

But is it worse that he wants Audrey enough, but doesn’t want to call her? See her? It just didn’t make sense. Didn’t add up. You know that Andy wouldn’t do that. He would fight to see both the kids, and they weren’t born from him. You’d chosen the wrong man, and deep down, you knew it. But you got the right kids. The best kids.

Ones that are now surrounded by so many people that love them. You are making it work out here away from family. Growing a village, and everyone is happier because of it. Even though Ransom wasn’t happy about the plan for you to fade out of work, but you and Andy decided as a unit that it was best if you slowly weaned your hours down to nothing.

Ransom might not be the biggest fan of that idea, but he couldn’t argue much. You volunteered to do some work from home. Help him out as much as possible. You’d already made him change his mind about children at the office. Suede was easily entertained, and entertained himself well. You just couldn’t let his health be in someone else’s hands right now. You weren’t ready.

Now, onto Christmas Eve, and Christmas.

“Uck Ann, and yoys, and mama, and dada, and Audi, and yots a yoys, and tees, and mine dog, and…” Ransom’s eyes just keep getting larger the more that Suede jabbers about that morning. Ransom gave the morning to your family, but the moment he walked in after cleanup, Suede and Audrey attacked. They were not expecting him, nor expecting him to spend the night.

“Audi, can you translate for me?” He asks, smiling at the little boy, and giving him some rib tickles.

“He had a good Christmas,” she covers her mouth, giggling. They both did. So far, Audrey hadn’t even mentioned Scott. His loss. She very may well later. But she is too much into her feels about new toys, and decor for her bedroom, and now Uncle Ann to care. At bedtime, it was sure to be different.

“Chess. Mine yoys in for. Oo pay me,” Suede points to the wide array of toys in the living room floor. You’re just relaxed with Andy the giant chair of his, enjoying the sight. Before toys had to be strictly cleaned up and put away, and never brought out into the living room. What is the fun in that? This living room is big enough that they had a little nook for additional toys that didn’t fit in their play room.

The fireplace was on, and you soak up Christmas morning. Even more, Andy’s joy of having a Christmas he always dreamed of. The both of you sat in the floor with the kids, opening up presents with them. Then opened up boxes, added batteries, built the race track for Suede. You enjoyed the time with your kids.

“He wants you to play in the floor with us,” Audrey nods. It’s what she is wanting to. If she had it her way she’d probably spend her time sitting in his lap, and getting him to play baby dolls with her.

“Chess,” Suede does one solid nod, and points to the living room. “In der wi us.”

“Can I sit in your lap? Suede likes to get up and move too much,” he responds with a chess, still pointing in the living room. “Please?” Your little needy, sneaky girl.

“Of course,” she giggles again as Ransom carries both of them into the area with you and Andy. Such a lazy Christmas today. The kids have been in the living room with their toys all day, you’ve had a Yule log on the television, and the fireplace on, while you snuggled with Andy, watching the kids play, or playing with them.

“Hey Ran,” you smile up at him, and Andy rubs over your belly, getting an eye roll from Ransom. Apparently, he’d been ragging on Andy for being able to knock you up, while ‘Scoot’ and his limp dick couldn’t

“How the babies?” You cringe, looking up at Ransom. You hadn’t told him. The divorce is official final, but it just was never the right time.

“Mine otay. Chess. Yots a toys!” Suede answers, because he is the baby.

“What babies?” Audrey looks at you accusatory as you gawk at Ransom. “Like me and Suedey are your babies?”

“Me no babE! Me ig boy,” Suede’s brows furrow at his sister. You take a deep breath, trying to think if this is the wrong time. Christmas should be about their happiness with being kids. You’ve already signed the divorce papers. You agreed to Scott’s terms. You allowed him to belittle you over and over again to keep the peace. You deserved to have this family. And they deserved to know.

“Doe,” Andy’s voice is reassuring, and not pressuring at all. He’s always let you lead things when it comes to the children. But you want him to have say as well. He’s earned it. You gulp staring at Audrey who continues to just look at you. Miss Tatum will be coming, and Audrey is already jealous of Ransom’s attention. Would she feel like you are replacing her?

“I got a new baby doll for Christmas. And she looks real,” oh sweet girl. “Is that what you mean?” Audrey twiddles her fingers, as Suede swings his legs, silently asking for Ransom to set him down, and he does.

“I’m sorry,” he says, still holding onto your sweet girl. “I thought…”

“Audrey,” your voice cracks looking at her sweet face. The little girl that made you a mom. The one that has been so strong, and yet is still your baby. The one that calls Andy’s partner to tell him about her nightmares. She’s suffered through so much, and you don’t want this to hurt her, but you wouldn’t change it.

“Honey, Andy and I have a big surprise for you.”

“More yoys?” You shake your head no, at Suede, and he returns to his playing. He didn’t care about anything but more presents.

Audrey looks at your belly with glassy eyes. Andy’s hand is still splayed over it. She’s so smart. Too smart some days. And then her mouth turns up into the biggest smile, “Babies?” She is going to be okay.

“Uh huh. Two of them,” letting her work through the emotions, you just smile up at her.

“Twins!” She screeches, causing Ransom to grimace holding his ear, and he lowers her to the floor, and she bounds towards you. Crawling up into your lap, and kisses your neck. You melt into her touch. Hugging her back, and kissing all over her cheeks. “But daddy said you can’t have babies,” daddy shouldn’t be talking to her at all.

“But mommy can,” Andy says proudly, kissing both of you. “Mommy can have two at once.”

“NaNa my daddy,” Suede sings, connecting the magnetized blocks together. He’s taking it well. Still just worried about NaNa being his daddy. He’d eventually figure out there are babies in your belly, and then there are babies in his home.

“So Suedey is going to be a big brother!” She covers her mouth again giggling. “Can I name one?” You smile, pushing her hair back as her hand joins Andy’s on your belly. Giggling when she feels the growing bump.

“As long as it’s not Princess Peach or Bubbles,” her sweet nose scrunches up, shaking her head at Andy. “Maybe Princess Banana Hammock.”

“I was thinking Aubrey,” she says so sweetly. Something to match her.

“We don’t even know what we’re having, just that there’s three,” her hand stops right above your belly button, and both of you lock eyes for a moment. She felt it, too. Of course your sensitive girl would feel the small flutters. Or just knew that you could. Or it was all in her head. Children’s perceptions are strange.

“You’re sure? Can we put a third in there?”

“I’m sure, and two is enough” you answer. Turning towards Andy you nod your head, and he reaches over to his wallet. He digs through it before pulling out the photos of the ultrasound. “See, this is baby A, and that is baby B.”

“That is a blob. What is that?” She asks, squinting at the photos. “These are not babies. Are they going to look like that when they’re born? That’s terrifying.”

“No,” Andy chuckles, giving her another kiss to her head. “Oh,” he looks at Ransom with a smile as the doorbell rings. “Ran, can you answer the door?” He smiles, putting the photo back in his wallet. Realizing now he can have the ultrasound on display with the family photo. And soon a family photo with your bump. And then photos with all four kids.

“Is it Santa?” Audrey claps her hands, jumping up to cling to Ransom as she follows him out of the living room.

“Sanna! More yoys! Yots a yoys,” both kids run with Ransom to the front door, but you just look at Andy for a moment. Creating new traditions for Christmas. A village unfolding and hopefully no tantrums with Miss Tatum joining you for dinner. There is the couch if she wants to stay, but Ransom better give her the guest bedroom.

“That went better than I thought,” Andy yawns, and brings you practically in his lap. His hand goes up underneath the oversized sweatshirt. He didn’t have to hide anything anymore. You are carrying his babies. And he’d shout it to the moon.

“Now, let’s hope that Audrey does well with this,” you agree. Let’s hope this goes well. She did have such big changes happening.

“Miss Tatum!” Audrey screams, and two sets of feet start jumping up and down, and Ransom says absolutely nothing. “Can I show you my room?”

“Mine yoys. Mine Uck Ann. Mine mama. Mine daddy.”

“Hey, Ransom,” you know that voice. At least Ransom’s crush is reciprocated. That can be your gift to him this Christmas. “I brought a cookie box, and some fudge.”

“My Ike tookies!”

“Ands, everything is okay,” he shushes you, and gives you a chaste kiss. “I’m not sleepy,” you are. You’re very sleepy. And cozy, and comfortable.

“Say hey to Miss Tatum, I’ll offer coffee for everyone, and make hot chocolate for the kids if they want it, and we’ll play a movie. You can sleep right on here with me during the movie, okay, little deer?” You nod as you start to stand up. Better yet, let you make the coffee, he make the hot chocolate, and you get a cookie and be a cordial houseguest. Nap can come later.

Christmas just got so much sweeter.

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