I Am Made From Ink And Parchment

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

and I made this within 5 minutes of returning. so I think that sums up my thoughts on it. (though im willing to rant more if ppl want it. cause I have COMPLAINTS)

Come on [tumblr] where’s my Mars Bear fanart?

because no, not in a million years, would odysseus "i yell my name and home address to the beast i blinded out of pride so he knows who tf i am." of ithaca, mr. "killed 108 men cock out" and "the reason for the fall of troy" just decide that finally, after he got home to his throne 20 years later to go "you know what man i am lowkey tired as hell from this i am old and weak and fragile let my chud son be king"

he simply would not do that he is soo prideful and selfish to do that.

and that’s the problem, the movie tries its best to not show odysseus as immoral or selfish or prideful, for some reason. it’s too scared to show you the real king of ithaca, and at that point, why make an adaptation at all?

There is exactly one (1) time travel episode and instead of being in awe of meeting the people she's studied, she's pissed off and lectures them about unethical space travel.

In this episode, shenanigans happen, and a planet is in danger, and she realises why they broke the prime directive so often. and begs them to save a planet.

When Helen was of age to be married, all the Lords of Greece came to seek her hand. This was an issue for her stepfather the King of Sparta who could only pick one husband and then would have to deal with the far greater number of angry rejected suitors.

One suitor was Odysseus, then a younger man. He quickly ascertained that he had no chance of marrying Helen. Ithaca was too poor for him to even bring any proper gifts, let alone a dowry. But he did catch the eye of the King's niece, one Penelope.

Now Penelope was still a bit out of Odysseus' league, but not so much as Helen was. So he makes a deal with the King of Sparta. Support my bid to marry Penelope, and I'll give you a solution to this suitors problem. The King agrees, so Odysseus suggests all the suitors swear an oath to defend Helen's marriage from anyone who might strike against it. They all, including Odysseus, so swear, and Helen is married to Menelaus. The King proves as good as his word, and Penelope is wed to Odysseus.

Of course this means that Odysseus has now bound himself to fight for Helen and Menelaus. After an attempt to feign madness he is forced to fulfill his duty.