The Laziest Of Learners

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

@deadandwalking

I have never heard about the concept of a problematic height gap. Also I‘m quite a tall, large person and I couldn’t stop a Leopard 2A7 if I wanted to. Also I know one or two short people who are in the height range to be able to bite me in the nuts. And no, not anyone of them has ever tried that. Wtf are you talking about?

Who would’ve seen that coming?

Instructions unclear. When my father chased me around the house with an axe he went into the neighboring labyrinth and froze to death. Who should I chase around the house with an axe now?

I have never heard about the concept of a problematic height gap. Also I‘m quite a tall, large person and I couldn’t stop a Leopard 2A7 if I wanted to. Also I know one or two short people who are in the height range to be able to bite me in the nuts. And no, not anyone of them has ever tried that. Wtf are you talking about?

Chaotic good

NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn’t just mean cheeky!

Always reblog for malicious compliance

sometimes following the letter of the law works even better than ignoring it.

In Utah the new book banning laws apply to the bible, and there’s already someone petitioning to get it removed from schools and libraries.

I hope no English teacher ever puts up with “banning pronouns” for even a moment

Can confirm. The Book of Mormon is incredibly violent. There are rivers running red from the blood of thousands killed in battles. One of the „good guys“ pays his respects to his employer by hacking off the arms of robbers trying to steal the employer‘s herds. Millions die in an apocalypse, women and children are burned alive in a big fiery pit and god‘s representative on earth makes this a lesson about why not saving them is actually god’s will.

stop derailing with Jesus's foreskin, this post is about God's genitals ONLY

Hi, Catholic here—the only part of the holy trinity with a human body is the Son (Jesus) so yes, but also God the Father doesn’t have a human body so no, but the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all the same being as well so yes, but all humans including women are created in the image of God so hypothetically He has everything else too. Hope this helps.

thank you it did not!

If it helps, in Mormon theology God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are all separate physical (the Spirit doesn’t have a body) entities acting as one Godhood. And yes they have penises, though as far as I know and as was told to me by seminary, exalted beings like God and Jesus don’t have blood, so penises yes, but not functional.

i have a suggestion

If you're cold, they're cold; let vampires into your home.

This post was fact checked by the We-Are-Definitely-Not-Vampires-Association and has been deemed 100% factual.

Must not pick that scab off. It will not in fact get rid of the scab and just create a different scab. The scab is not done cooking yet. I am completely normal about scabs. <-gripping the edges of his chair so tightly the wood is starting to crack