My Thoughts

“I used to believe that because I could not picture my future, I wasn’t meant to have one. But now you’re here and now my future holds so much more.”

“The world moves differently, through my eyes, because you are gone.”

“You’d know what to say to make me feel better, if only I had the guts to say what I’m feeling.”

“I wonder if my name has slipped past your lips since the day we last spoke. I wonder if it left a sour taste.”

I put my pen to empty paper and I fight to write of love. But the truth is; I am not in love. Love has not entered the vacant halls in this vessel I call a body in what feels like an eternity. I could write about how his skin felt when I kissed it, Or how his eyes shimmered in the sunset, Or how he never said goodbye without embracing my body before his departure. If I were to be honest I'd tell you that I've forgotten all memories of his skin, I can no longer recall the colour of his eyes, Or the warm, soft, goodbyes. So no, I will not write of love because I choose to not write of lies.

It takes every bit of energy in me to repress you from my memory entirely.

The thing I thought would last forever Left so suddenly. And recovery takes so long, I can't wait forever. I can't wait forever knowing it's Without you.

I've listened to all your favourite songs I've been searching for some signs That you aren't truly gone, Just making your way home.

I strayed so far when finding myself, Along the way I got lost in someone else.

I am great-full our paths crossed. Even if it was for only a year Or only a month or a second. You changed me; all of me. Thank you.

I've been on this earth long enough and it seems like everyone's got it figured out. But I don't. I still don't know who I am.

Although I knew I was nobody special, You made me feel like I owned the world. And that's a feeling I can never have again.

When did self-care become selfishness? I'm sorry my absence has caused such a burden. But lately I've been working on me Because who would I be if I only ever focused on you and never took time to learn and grow from my emotions?

I miss you so fucking much. Looking back, I think I was in love with you. But now there's nothing I can do.

If you knew that your words could heal my wounds, You'd never speak another word.

Surround yourself with good people to be able to see the world and it’s beauty in all it’s entirety.

When I'm tired all the time and everyday is the same It doesn't feel like I'm living, I'm just taking up space.