#worries

Samuli Heimonen, “Huolenkerääjä” (Collector of Worries)

Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.

-- Maya Angelou

The last time I saw my aide was just about 8 o'clock Thursday morning. It's now just after midnight Saturday morning (she was supposed to come Thursday night to help me get into bed). All my calls to her today have gone straight to voicemail, and it's never been this long without her eventually calling me back.

I've been calling the number she gave me for her eldest daughter's cellphone, and that's been going to voicemail, too. without calling me back.

I put her daughter's phone number into a reverse number look-up, and it came back with a number for a completely different person in a different state (and I'm sure I've actually talked to her daughter, once, with the number I have).

So I don't even know, anymore.

It's like she's dropped off the earth.

And I don't have the numbers of any of her other family members, to call them and ask if they've heard anything.

And yes. I need her help to get in and out of bed, and shop, and shower. But more than that, I've come to think of her as a friend.